There is no rule about who has to sleep with whom on what date. If he doesn't want to see you because he can't sleep with you, he's not worth anything. If he truly did want to make this work, he would've respected your decision and made efforts to try and get to know you more and vice versa. Yes, you might still like him and have feelings for him, but do *not* blame yourself for it.
I was in a similar situation with a guy that I really liked and actually saw myself having a future with. I was weary about sleeping with him anytime soon because it seemed like the earlier the sex came in, the faster things went downhill. And due to just really badly timed events, I ended up turning him down the third time (I wasn't about tell a guy I met < 1 mo ago I'm on my period...). After that he disappeared on me. At first I was beating myself up for it - maybe if I just told him or if I caved in earlier. But nope. My girlfriends smacked some sense into me. If a guy won't continue because he can't put the d in the v, he's not worth your time or attention.0 0 0 0There is no "3rd date rule", that is some bullshit that people made up to make people feel obligated to have sex with them or to justify just rolling out because they didn't get what they want. You have sex whenever the fuck you feel ready to, not after a set amount of time that somebody else is bigoted enough to try and dictate for you.
0 0 0 0Well, you did other stuff right? Like kissing, etc?
If so, then he should know you're attracted to him. If not, then he might have felt like you weren't.
Truthfully, it sounds like he was more interested in sex. Not really sounding serious. A 4th, 5th, even 6th date doesn't mean you're obligated to sleep with him.0 0 0 0We made out a lot, hands holding, touching, hugging, cuddling...
In that case, it sounds like he just was mad you wouldn't put out. Finding out you're a virgin may have made him retract. He thought "I'm going to have to wait, she's not going to put out" and that's why he left. Just wanted sex. Very likely he'll try to come back, once he's found someone else to fool around with and get his frustration out. But it'll just be because he wants your virginity.
I think my virginity scared him off, he is a very experienced guy and he told me he had never met a virgin and the girls he used to date... well they got really far at third date
Don't regret it. He would've just left anyway after he got what he wanted. Also, who wants a guy who's only interested in you for sexual purposes? You just saved yourself some heartache. You did nothing wrong, remember that.
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He might have had sex with you and moved on after that which you leave you in a worse situation.
It's difficult to tell though.
People tend to oversimplify a guy's yearning to have sex with a woman. The logic is like: "he wants eagerly to have sex, therefore he *only* wants to have sex."
Sometimes when we're young, it's more like, "I like her but I'm afraid of committing to her unless we seal the deal with sex. I want a confirmation that she wants me as much as I want her." Then your refusal is like a rejection and a confirmation that you aren't so into him, at which point he might want to pursue another girl.
I know that sounds fucked up, but sometimes young guys think like that. Sex becomes not only something they yearn for but think they need to kind of secure a relationship.
I was in that head space when I was young, though I wasn't as pushy as this guy about it. I had a bit more patience and respect for the girl's boundaries. That said, I still viewed sex kind of in this way.0 0 0 0I know it is personal, but I would let him know you are a virgin, and that is why you want to wait a little longer. there is no date that is perfect for sex, but being sexually active, in this day age where it is so easy to get some, I would have to really really like the girl to wait longer than a month or so. But of course if I knew she was a virgin, I would be way more patient!
1 0 0 0I told him I am a virgin
ell then, he sounds like he may be a bit pushy and selfish for you unfortunately...
Yes, well he is kind of a selfish and spoiled brat, he had been pushy since our very first date. I let him kiss me, french me, even to grab my private parts.. but I was honest and told him I need more time for sex
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6 10He only wanted to get into your pants.
He most likely would have disappeared once you slept with him anyways.
Yes, he disappeared because you didn't sleep with him1 0 0 0There is no "rules" in dating, and you did the right thing of not letting him use you. He may have stayed with you if you let up, but then you'd also know the only reason for him staying.
1 0 0 0Honestly if he just cuts you off because you're not ready to have sex, he's kind of a douche. You deserve to be respected, if he can't respect your wishes then he's not worth it. There will be others
1 2 0 0There are no fucking rules like that. Sounds like some bogus BS by a player that just want to get there first. Don't even date that guy. He's just trying to play you so he can hit and quit it. Drop him like a hot potato and run.
1 0 0 0I guess he does not want to get there first. He dropped me like a hot potato after found out I am a virgin
Then good riddance to bad rubbish.
Of course he wouldn't have stayed with you. and by the way, since you guys weren't exclusive he probably was sleeping with other girls. so be glad you dodged a bullet!
1 0 0 0I know that 99% I am just being naive but he told me his intentions are serious. Some guys... most of them wants sex as soons as possible
No... if he was serious he wouldn't have left.
Maybe he felt like his sexual needs wouldn't have been fulfilled with you, or maybe all he cared about was sex. Who knows.
I do think it's a little bit ridiculous to leave because you didn't get sex after the fourth date, but I think I'd leave too if we had been like on 6 dates and there was still no sign of sex.0 0 0 0to be honest, there wasn't a single date in which he didn't try to get way too physical. We planned on going to a movie on our first date and he texted 30 minutes before asking me if it wouldn't be cooler to watch the movie at my place ( I think he suggested my place because he lives with his parents) I said no.. and he cancelled the date... he texted the next day and we met up then
Okay if he suggested going to your place as the first date, then he probably only wanted for sex.
I told him that too, but he laughed and said I am ridiculous.. for thinking he would want sex at our first date
It's just as well, you weren't compatible (sexually) and it's better to discover this sooner rather than later. Chalk it up to experience and you can start to move on with your life.
0 1 0 0He was going to pump and dump you anyway
0 0 0 0He doesn't think you're attracted to him. Your denial of sex to him is like a form of rejection. Its fine if you don't want to have sex. Just don't expect guys to feel the same.
1 2 0 0I told him I am not ready because I am a virgin, but I told him I really like him and wish to stay with him. I just needed some time
Lmao he bailed because you're a virgin OP
0 0 0 0You should be glad he left! don't lose your virginity to someone you're not confident about. He might not be the one, but you shouldn't regret losing it some ass**le! trust me, you would've had shuddered each time you recall the experience in future, as these kind of guys ar just in for sex and you'll feel unhappy with yourself for doing it, when you're old enough to advice answers to such questions yourself.
0 1 0 0Because he is an asshole
0 0 0 0No sex by 3rd date is a deal breaker, regardless of virginity.
1 0 2 0Meh its fine, you should do it when you feel its right and you legit want to do it, its not cool when someone pressures you and you may regret it, don't worry about it someone cool is gonna come along and when he does it'll feel correct lol. Don't worry about this one though he doesn't seem worthy of you, never feel boring for not doing it, it's your body and if it doesn't feel right it isn't meant to be , he doesn't sound that cool anyway
0 0 0 0Girl do not beat yourself up. He clearly only wanted sex from you and nothing else. It's your right to refuse until you are totally ready and don't ever ever let a guy pressure you into having sex. Stand your ground and wait for the right guy
1 0 0 0Yep.. 3 strikes and you are out. He moved on.
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