Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health My boyfriends fantasy is, of course like many men, to have a threesome with another girl. He never brings it up unless I mention it, and he has told me he would rather have me than do it and it's not a must for him. He is being really sweet about it and it makes me want to please him even more. He also said it wasn't about having sex with other women, but to see her please me, and then join later. He said the focus would be me. I really want him to feel fulfilled with me but when I imagine us doing it, I feel scared out of my mind due to these things:
1. What if she is prettier /sexier, and he starts fantasizing about being with her?
2. What if he falls out of love with me?
3. What if I get so jealous I can't enjoy and will ruin everything?
Can anyone share your experiences with threesomes in relationships? Should you do them, or only as single people? What are some tips?
How can I get over the intense fear of a threesome?
ragequeen Editor
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What Girls & Guys Said
23 105This is the same problem with open relationships or cuckolding. If you don't share a great level of trust, it will not work. He has already told you that it is not a must. No matter how much the idea may excite him, it's just a fantasy and he has you, that matters more to him than risking your relationship.
You are considering it to satisfy him, but have all these concerns so it sounds like you really do not want this. If you are this scared about it, then just don't do it. You cannot control any of those things. You have absolutely no say in any of them. What you do have a say in is whether or not you go through with it.
I've had many many three sums both MFM and and FMF and I have yet had a relationship survive one. Your fears are very justified and I would never do one with some I'm committed with. I know some people can handle the additional emotional burden of them. I know successful poly couples, but they have incredible communication skills and are very very open emotionally with each other.
Don’t do it.
The key to 3somes are boundaries. The couple sets boundaries together. Its helped a lot in the ines I've had. An example would would be no anal with the other girl, or can't finish I her, or something along. g those lines. The purpose being keeping something special just for the 2 of you. Its normal to worry she's prettier than you, or what if he wants her more than you. Not all guys will want her after. Just those that think with their dick. The fact he doesn't bring it up unless you do, and repeats his thoughts on it with consistency shows he's respectful of you. If you are considering it, the 2 of you should pick the girl together. Or you pick the girl if he is ok with that. Communication is key. In my experiences these have all worked well and have never had an issue afterwards.. feel free to ask more questions should you like.
You're such a dummy girl
If you don't wanna do it he can't do it without you without cheating
So you hold all the cards
I would say, if you're not 100% into it, just don't. It will ruin you with doubt issues. Been there, didn't work well for me.
Wife's still with me, but I went through a couple of rough years, cuz she couldn't stay away from the other guy.
If you do not want to do it, do not do it.
Simple.
to get passed the fear, maybe face it. I don't know really
It depends on what the fear is about. You could agree on the condition that 3rd party is a guy. One way to avoid reasons you mentioned would be to hire a pro, I. e. escort. There would be little possibility that she would be remotely interested in boyfriend plus she would be experienced at making you feel at ease. Doing that would be much easier in urban or resort area, Las Vegas has thousands. If you would like further details, DM me.
It should only be something that BOTH of you want to experience.
My wife and our girlfriend's story is unique in the fact that my wife is bi-sexual and she and her girlfriend have know each other since they were 14. Me and my wife dated for 3 months before she felt confident enough that I would understand their relationship.
My wife and I dated 2 years before we got married and in that time all. of us became really good friends, and her girlfriend loves us. About 6 months after we were married my wife and her girlfriend surprised me with OUR first threesome.
We all been together for last 23 years. For fun we wrote a short story about our first night together. My wife has really gotten into it and is now writing a erotic novel about our lives together over last 15 years.
Sorry typo... we been together last 13 years lol
Are you a lesbian?
Just commit to it
nice :) i bet you woudl be fun in ffm
A guy (typically) wants sex as a precursor to his relationship of a gal.
A gal (typically wants a relationship with him as a precursor to the sex!
See the problem? This "overlap" or "intersection" of love/relationship and sex is natural and it will never go away. And that is the way it should be- between a guy and a gal. This is reality.
Polyamory, threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes are wrecking the foundation of the initial relationship between the guy and the gal. This stuff is fantasy.
You said, "I really want him to feel fulfilled with me but. . . . " You must be questioning your ability to "be enough" for him. Forget the other gal or two - just work on being enough to fulfill him yourself. Succeed in the reality. If you do that, you won't have to worry about attempting the fantasy!
A treesome is not much different than regular sex. I don't see much appeal on it.
A lot of people experience negative feelings during threesomes, don't do it unless you feel confident enough, both about yourself and about your relationship. If this brings insecurities and jealousy it can destroy your relationship.
Watch porn threesomes.
Does he know you have such an intense fear of having a tjreesome? If no, then you should tell him. To be frank, I've always been against having a threesome with a significant other. It invites trouble. Even if you have her just do stuff to you
Your instincts are right. He'll bond with her almost permanently, but women aren't like that, so a threesome with another man would pose a risk for a different reason. He's externally validated and thus controllable, like you or he wouldn't be with you at all. Don't give up the high ground, it's tactically unsound. Just bang outside in costumes or something. Men bond with vasopressin and women with oxytocin.
"it wasn't about having sex with other women, but to see her please me, and then join later"
lol'd
even if it works, your relationship would never be serious again
Here is my experience with "threesome": I went back from the club with two girls, we were having a good time and I made out with both of them, they were liking it. One chick lay down, took her panties off, spread her legs, I started climbing on top of her, the other chick just stood up and left the room. The end.
Just listen to his needs. Getting jealous over that is stupid.
It's not stupid, and a threesom is not a NEED is just a fantasy so try to work on your empathy
@rochi1234 I’m a man, I know that it’s more of a need than a fantasy. It’s common knowledge that this is normal for men. We want to fuck plenty of girls, and that’s just how we are wired. You can take it or leave it, not my problem. If she’s not ok with it then chances are that her boyfriend will simply look for another girl that will be. Simple simple