Sexual Relationships
6 mo

How do I get better at nudes and dirty talk?

Basically my boyfriend thinks I’m bad at dirty talk and nudes. He says my nudes are boring because they’re all the same kinda pose. I have done a lot of nudes. Also he says my dirty talk is bad too I’m not good at it.

Pretty much anything I do sexually he says I’m not good at it and I ruin it for him by doing a bad job. He says why would he want my nudes or sexting if I’m bad at it. It kinda hurts my feelings because I enjoy sexting and sending him pictures because I don’t see him every week. How do I improve? Any tips

1 6

Superb Opinion

  • If this guy is important to you and you really want to try to make him happy. A few suggestions I have is to research boudoir photography websites and look through their photo galleries for inspiration, if you have the money to spend, maybe book an appointment with one near you and have them take the photos, that is their job to make you look good. If you can't afford to book a photo shoot, ask a friend who you'd be comfortable with and have them take those photos in your home, or buy a tripod and try taking them yourself.

    As for the dirty talk... try writing it out on paper or in a document on your computer and then saying it out loud as you look into a mirror, try to make it sound sexy, provocative, and dirty out loud to yourself before texting it to him, or you could send him a video of you playing out what your talking to him about.

    Although, in my opinion, if he doesn't want to communicate with you about what he is looking for, you will most likely never be able to satisfy him because he himself doesn't really know what he wants. And if that is the case, you should break it off and go find someone who appreciates all the work (because taking great nudes is hard work) you put in to make your man happy. There are a lot of men out there who would be happy to get any nude photo from a woman, let alone more than one along with a dirty text message or video.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Thats more of time to dump frankly.
    Him just saying "you're bad at it" doesn't help you. a dude who cares won't say it like that, and would at least be able to say "hey, i prefer this type of pose, can we try that?" type of comments.
    like his comments, he's a man of no substance. so ditch

    • He’s very critical and has high standards for nudes etc. shouldn’t a guy like any nude his girlfriend sends because it’s her? I don’t get it I like anything he sends me I never criticise him, I just call him hot even if I think the picture wasn’t great.

    • eh, i understand if he maybe thinks a nude is not quite what he wants, but you can't give him anything better if he doesn't give you any actual information for what you need to do.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Dirty talk, has to come naturally. My girlfriend and I had a lot of really good earthy dirty talk, we just talked about what sex looks feels, and tastes like. She could always talk dirty about my penis. (She said "prick") You might start there and see how it goes and feels.

    His criticism sounds stupid, and maybe you should just drop him.

  • Criticism with nothing else, is just a guy trying to make himself feel better... like he's hot shit and knows better.

    What a crock, if he can't be constructive then he knows squat. Ask him to do some nudes and dirty talk and allow you to critique.

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What Girls & Guys Said

13 46

  • I don't really have much advice for nudes as it's a personal thing and depends what your boyfriend or whoever is into but one thing I can definitely tell you is that your man is not looking very good as a partner!

    This goes beyond the nudes (he's old enough to communicate what he'd like to see less/more of though than just bitching). His entitlement and inability to communicate his needs is killing your confidence and enjoyment of sex in general so.. yeah, definitely wouldn't hurt to sit him down and ask him what he'd like instead. (In the bedroom- nudes are a secondary in my opinion)

  • Try with some GIF's that will spark his interest... That's how i express what and how i would do to a woman...😉
    If you start with "visual" then the rest will come easy, you just need to open a little bit your imagination an GO WITH the FLOW, otherwise will sound Mechanical, like you're a programmed AI...😉...


    https://wetgif. com/beautiful-blowjob-gif-images-of-nice-sucking-more-than-100-pieces/

  • Communication. Talk. Ask questions. But also demand answers. Him saying things like "you're just bad at it" arnt constructive. Best of luck.

  • I wouldn’t be sending nudes if my partner is that demeaning…. It’s supposed to be light and fun. I prolly won’t even be with him. Your body and self-respect is precious. Tell him to show you what he’s so critical about. But I would suggest rethinking this relationship if he isn’t sensitive and can not communicate with positive construction.

    other than that it’s just about communicating what is your partner’s preferences in sexy talks and pics.

  • He doesn't sound like a catch! Do you wnt to live with constant criticism for the rest of your life? Next time he criticizes you, just respond by saying, "It seems like you don't really appreciate anythiing about me, you must be horribly unhappy with me, and I have become horribly unhappy with you, so I guess it's time for us to go our separate ways." Then do it! There are plenty of other guys available and youcan do much better than this.

  • That is a little mean of him. Most guys would be happy with a girlfriend who sends nudes and talks dirty. Not all girlfriends do that.

    I guess it depends on what he is looking for. Personally speaking... for pictures, how about bending down so that your boobs show, maybe from the front and side. For sexting, maybe tell him how you want his thing in your mouth or you want to taste him.

    I'm not sure how much I should say. But really you would have to ask him what he wants.

    • I’ve done like most nude/pose ideas I can think of. Mostly ones I find on Reddit or porn and some of my own ideas. There’s prob not any new poses I can do. Why is it mean of him?

    • Oh and dirty talk I’ve said most things you could prob think of

    • I guess you'll have to ask him for suggestions on what kind of poses and talk would please him. > Why is it mean of him? Because you are trying your best to please him and he says your "nudes are boring" and your "dirty talk is bad". He should be kinder to you. Those are not things to complain about. But if you're OK with it, then I guess it is fine.

    • Show All

  • I used to be rubbish at dirty talk too... my boyfriend loves it so I just learnt to not think about it and just say what comes into my head. Such as what I want him to do to me.

    As for sending nudes I think that's very immature and if my boyfriend asked me to do that I'd tell him no way, he gets the real thing at home.

  • Get a new boyfriend. If he's your boyfriend why does he want nudes and dirty talk when you have sex? I don't get it, he sounds like an idiot.

  • God is Good. Don't do it. Tell him to marry you first

  • Ask him what he expects or what he wants from nudes/dirty talk.

    • I do ask him but he never has any ideas he just tells me to figure it out

    • Well he's just not worthy of you. So dump him and move on

    • Thats not really helpfull. Sounds like he doesn't really know himself what he wants. Even more difficult for you to figure it out.

  • Step one. Dump him.

    Step two. If you are looking for new poses to send the next guy, plenty of porn sites to look at for inspiration.

  • Seriously? He says you ruin it for him sexually because you do a bad job?

    He demeans you and is pretty much bullying you sexually, hy on earth do you want to stay with a guy as unloving and selfish as that? Not only does he sound full of himself, he is so self-entitled, and seems to have a toxic view of your relationship - his demanding attitude about the sexual aspects of your life with him sound mentally abusive imho !

  • Ya, let's practice together and see if we can improve your sexting, nudes and dirty talk game... and you can feel free to let him know or keep it a secret whichever you prefer

  • He sounds like a jerk. Why do you want him so bad? He should be grateful you’re willing to send him nudes and sext at all. He sounds super spoiled and entitled.

  • Talk to your boyfriend and ask him to let you know what he wants to see and hear. It's easy to complain, but it's more important to offer suggestions.

  • You better run and run fast if he isn't happy with the things you send. It means he has a long history of receiving nudes probably and therefore his needs aren't satisfied anymore with ordenary nudes.

    Be careful that you don't end up on the internet after you and him breaking up because love can them easily turn into hate

  • If he's just talking you down and not giving any constructive criticism on how to improve any of it then he's not worth your time.

  • Practice and ask him what he would like to see. In my experience these kind of pics are supposed to be fun and not works of art.

  • He sounds controlling. Most guys would just be grateful you were into doing those things.

    Does he make you happy in bed and ensure you reach a climax every time and before he does?

  • I don’t send nudes but dirty talk just takes time and lot of practice.

    I would be open to making a homemade porno with my partner as long as I had control of the footage.

    • From not sending nudes to making a homemade porno with your partner sounds like a big leap @Hannajenky - can I ask, why would you do that? To please him, or because you think it'd be sexually hot to do it? And when you say if you had control of the footage, do you mean being able to ensure it wasn't distributed online or shown to anyone other than you & your partner?

    • @pierre7i yes that’s what I mean. If I text someone a naked pic of me they have control of it but if it is on my camera I can be sure I delete it

    • That makes sense @Hannajenky ! Have you ever told your partner you'd be ok to do that with him?

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