Sexual Relationships
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How do I react to sexual kinks/turn ons when they’re embarrassing or taboo?

I have weird kinks that make me horny.
From past lovers, i’ve been told they dont feel appreciated or don’t do the things I want because it doesn’t show that I like it, or that they’re doing good. But, I don't know how to act to show I like it. Because, its weird and I feel like a pervert. Or in general I just don’t have anything to say about it. Other than, it just turns me on.

For example a less weird one;
I like being Tbagged. I love balls lmao. It’s embarrassing. But it turns me on. That kind of thing isn't the same as liking something normal like dick where you can say “oh yeah that feels so good” y know? Its embarassing.


I don't know how else to show my partner I’m appreciative/like it? Other than that I told him it does.
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • to be honest all kinks are a little tabo to say the least, other wise they would be the norm and every one would be doing them.

    with regards to how to react to let your SO know that you like it, moaning is always a good indicator, talking dirty and letting them know that its enjoyable, and lastly, after sex tell them how much you enjoyed it and how much it turned you on, describing the feelings and how wet etc it made you.

    as you are anonymous, what are the others that you like, not as if we can match it to you or know who you are. i find talking to people helps rationalize it in your head and except it better. that is one of the biggest problems with kinks. people keep them locked up in their heads and the more you think and less you talk the more it builds. talking about it, you'll find more and more that there are lots of people who are into most things.

    i also generally find that, most guys are willing to do things for their partners even if they dont get it or like it, we like to please and just know you had a good time also, well as long as it doesn't hit a hard limit. but we all have different limits, so talking is the only way.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well, chris pretty much said it.

    First, focus on finding a partner that actually understands kinks and fetishes. If you do, the problem of embarrasment will (most likely) be solved without you trying. He might even initiate and ask you to openly tell him whatever you need. Embarrassment and feeling stupid (or worse, inferior), doesn't exist without judgement, and someone who understands kinks in general, won't judge you.

    This is always the hardest part, because you will have to find someone who is high in openness (to experience), and these people are generally rare (if you find one, keep him close). If, for whatever reason, you're not exactly in the kink community or can't be (like having a conservative family/friends etc.), then finding that person will be even harder. If you can meet people in meetings and dungeons and stuff, then it could be easier.

    Even in my second (current) relationship, I was ready to stay silent about some of my kinks to avoid causing a strong disgust reaction from my guy and potentially ruin my chances of getting married *and* losing my oldest friend. I proritized the latter, and told myself I can live without some of my kinks.

    See what you want to prioritize. Your kinks might be embarrassing (I mean, that Tbag thing is pretty funny...) but some kinks are downright disgusting for vanilla guys and girls. Opening up to them is simply never going to work.

    So? Well, my own advice is to first, focus on finding the right person. But if you absolutely have to warm your partner up, just follow chris.

    • I don't think finding people open to kinks is that rare but finding someone who also has other qualities that you're looking for can be more rare.

    • @Lynx122 Depends on the kink. That Tbag thingy, yeah. But how many people can you find and trust for CNC? Or to draw your blood?

    • @mia-wallace thanks and fully agree Especially with those who have and understand kinks, judging someone over kinks is last thing that would happen. I’ve lost count on how many times I used to hint towards kinks or talking about them. Especially those that are to many fairly dark…

    • Show All

  • Give me a break! If you want to entertain them go for it! Do you think you have no choice? If someone demands it tell him to kiss your ass,

    How do I react to sexual kinks/turn ons when they’re embarrassing or taboo?

Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of it comes down to talking to each other, communication is so important with kinks.

    Then working out limits and boundaries.

    Take baby steps.

    if you like being tied or tying someone, don’t jump in at Japanese rope play (Shibari), start of very mild and simple.

    Introduce things slowly not as an eat all you can buffet, smorgasbord, again don’t shock , scare the other person.

    Keep talking before, during and after a session. Find out if you have any kinks in common, or trade them, you try theirs, they try yours.

    Also a decent Dom will let you live out pretty much all your kinks within reason.

    Role play is another good way to slowly introduce things.

    Being honest and open, communicating, respecting their limits and boundaries, trust is a big one, it works both ways, also informed consent, they much consent and understand what they are actually consenting to.

    • It’s less introducing it - he’s completely okay and happy to give me what I want. His problem is that he says I don’t seem enthusiastic, or like I like it that much, because when he does it I don’t react I guess? I mean if he does it before we’re already in motion, i’ll start flirting. But in motion, what more can i do to show i enjoy what he’s doing. I don’t understand where he's coming from

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 12

  • Have to learn to be confidant in what u like

    • I am though. How else do you react to such a kink though lol when most people take it as a joke

    • By ensuring them that its not and thats what u like dont just bring it up but explain it to them

  • How you react is you find a partner with similar taste as you.

  • It might help to stop kink shaming yourself, and act as you normally would when you're enjoying something sexually.

  • Not much else you can do if you’re too embarrassed to say it directly. Guys love it when girls talk dirty. But I know most girls don’t like talking dirty.

  • Lol yeah that's one can bea little tough to just have happen, unless we the guys a vanilla type most guys would be happy to oblige.

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