Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Basically the situation that I 26M have been dating a 24F.
We started out on a few dates, and during COVID ended up having something more casual where we both dated others during this period of time, now am currently officially together. She's fun we have have great chemistry and I like her.
Issue is she have revealed that she has slept with 15 guys including me. Most were either casual things from dating app, or drunk hookups when travelling overseas. This is a lot for me to be able to deal with and makes me internally upset. She also casually mentions things in the past - Eg about making out with a bunch of guys, or and ex hook up she liked choking her etc. Also annoys me that she slept with other guys (2 i know of) while we were seeing either, despite me sleeping with 5.
The part that is quite hypocritical, is that I have slept with 37 girls. A few relationships but majority were ONS. I've done much more than her. I completely acknowledge that, I am being hypocritical here. But what I am hoping with us guidance of being able to get over this massive barrier to our relationship moving forward. What is interesting is that she didn't care about my hook ups but relationships affected her, for me I don't care about her relationships its the hook ups.
How do you get over your partners sexual history?
Anonymous
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What Girls & Guys Said
43 72Why what's the problem.
Urmmm, maybe by firstly stop talking about both of yours sexual history? After all you also done the same thing. Its not like she done it while together with you. Maybe have some serious conversation with her on why she like to talk that. More like she have sexual desire.
I would be fine with just about any sexual history.
The only deal breaker that comes to mind is that she must not have been with men of other races.
U need to get over yourself not over ur partners history
If you've slept with 37 i don't get why it bothers you. Could you perhaps explain rhat better. We can't really advise you if we don't get why it's a problem. If you had zero i'd understand. But you didn't.
I love hearing my wife's past sexual history.
It's part of our foreplay.
The raunchier the story the better.
It doesn't matter how many sexual partners she's had before meeting you! Don't dwell on her sexual past. Focus on the here and now!
Spoken like a true cuck.
And you sound like an absolute immature tool @bamesjond0069 😂
@bamesjond0069 is a tool. Lmfao.
That he is @loves2learn 😂
You are being very hypocritical like you just admitted.
Look see how she acts with you. If you feel special to her than don't worry about her past.
He is actually not being hypocritical considering women's and men's view on sexual history varies. Men are known to dislike a woman's sexual history while women don't pay too much attention to that. "A man is interested in a woman's past while a woman is interested in a man's future". So the dynamics between both sexes are different. Men are hardwired to find a woman with a high body count repulsive while women find a virgin (sexually inexperienced) man a turn off. You can't mix morality with biology. Biology doesn't give a rat's ass about man-made morality. He has issues with her body-count because that's his BIOLOGY. And it would not be any different compared to if he was a virgin and she has a body-count of 15
@TruthBringer There are girls on this very question saying they would not date a guy with such a massive history. I agree it bothers men more than it bothers women on average, but they have all the right to be turned off by it. So we can't just excuse all sexual past in men and expect all women to be fine with it. This a case where one of them is asking for something on the other that he himself can't give. That is hypocritical.
Yeah not with such a "massive" history. I doubt most women would want to date a manwhore who can't control himself in a relationship. Although women especially here have proven to take their WORDS with a grain of salt. If a guy is handsome enough and is successful, women wouldn't care less about his sexual past. Women have the right to be turned off by a man's sexual past aswel. The question is if they do, and in my experience, they often will overlook it. When it comes to the author of this take, he needs to realize that he will never get what he wants from this girl, which is a poor sexual history. So he needs to find himself a girl who doesn't have a rich sexual history and at the same time make sure she is alright with his.
@TruthBringer Just like the clothes issue, there are guys who will be bothered by it more and guys who will be bothered by it less. If he is a lot bothered by it and can't let it go then he should look for another partner. As far to what most girls want, honestly today hard to say. They show more and more traits that used to be considered typical of men. So who knows if most accept a guy with a massive sexual history or not.
That's exactly what I'm saying. This dude needs to find someone who suits his criteria more (within this field). Which is a girl with limited to no sexual history. Afterall, we have to find people who meet our preferences and world views. When you look at what kind of men women chase, these are often the men who are in the top-tier. There is a reason why they say "women chase bad boys". And 'bad boys' often have a high notch-count and are generally wanted by the female sex. So yes, they often DO chase the dudes who happen to be very experienced sexually. Just because they happened to possess traits that women deem to find attractive.
@TruthBringer the bad boy thing last during teenage years. And the richest men are usually chase by lots of women, who want their money. Not much more. A good man who gains fairly well, works on himself, is respectful and assertive will have girls after him regardless if he is considered top tier or not.
The bad boy thing is still very much a thing in a woman's twenties and even thirties.
You literally have twice the amount of hookups that she does💀grow up😭🤚
Well, sounds like you two are perfect for each other 😅
Both check for stds and just get over it.
Just realize that you can't demand things from your girlfriend that YOU YOURSELF can't uphold.
Simple as. She's actually a saint compared to you. Both of you are the same "type" of people (aka promiscuous) and you deserver each other.
If I were her I'd be worried of catching an STD from you.
Yes he can. Men and women are different. Women don't view men with a sexual history the way men see it. Women look at a man's future, while men look at a woman's past. He is a man, he is hardwired to be repulsed by a woman with many sexual partners in the past. The same is not to say about men. Virgin men are often frowned upon and a "turn off" for many women. She is nowhere to be a saint. At the same time, neither is he. Two wrongs don't make a right. She is street material and he will only do good if he will see her as such
@TruthBringer bla bla that's what you say to convince yourself. I am woman and I'd rather die single than marry a MAN SLUT. And he is street material. With 37 partners i doubt he never caught some stinky STD.
Virgin men are the best. Men who don't sleep around because THEY DECIDE TO (not because they're too ugly) are high value.
"bla bla bla" great way to show you're immature and can't hold an intellectual discussion. The only thing he played himself with is his high body count. I don't believe anyone should have a high body count. It will only play in the disadvantage for both sides. I simply explained to you the difference in the fundamental dynamic between the two sexes. But it's clear that you're one of those who can't stand the truth. "virgin men are the best" I'm glad you think so. Unlike the majority of women out there that is.
@TruthBringer I'm sorry but I'm not from America so I really don't have the same hedonistic values as you. Wow you're so smart, you can access ones "intellectual abilities" from a regular expression, way too go!
I'm not from America. I'm from the Netherlands. Even though cultural difference can have huge impact on the ways people perceive things, the fundamental dynamic within the biology remains the same. And go figure, you've not come with anything valid other than acting like a child. I know enough, enjoy your day, miss.
@TruthBringer We are not animals we can control our biology. When we don't it's because we chose not to. It's about choices. He could have kept his penis in his pants. He chose not to. She could have kept her legs closed. She decided not to. Now you can't shame her for partaking in the culture you yourself are part of. Both of them are into the hook up culture. They made their bed now they have to sleep in it. If he wants a "pure virgin" (between brackets) then chances are she won't be into this type of men anyways.
Yup. I’m with @ifriqyan on this one
PS: Women have sexual needs too. Women like being validated with sexual attention. In a lawless world where are moral obstacles fall, there is very little reason to think women won't also become slutty like men. As soon as the social stigma vanishes, our behaviors become more and more similar. Which is why female infidelity is also on the rise.
Exactly
We are very much animals and we are very much driven by our biology. Most of the things you do and most of the things you find attractive in someone is based on your biology. We can control our biological urges to some extent, but we can never override them, otherwise we’d only become robots. She decided to open her legs and therefore she has invited many potential issues into her life on emotional, mental and reputational level. Just because someone lives in a culture that promotes promiscuity, doesn’t mean that they must indulge in it. Afterall, as you said, both of them made their bed. I wish him best of luck to find a pure virgin in western society (a rare case). And if he happen to find out, I sure hope for him that she wants him aswel considering his past, despite women not putting as much importance on a man’s sexual past as men do with women’s sexual past. And absolutely, women will slut around when societal moralities fall. Everyone is just going to fuck around
@TruthBringer Why would you want this man whore to get a good virgin girl? Like do you want her to die from STDs? Too cruel😭
@DenimTuffy08 Same could be said about sluts getting with a guy with much lower sexual experience. In the end, if both parties are fine with it, then all power to them. This dude clearly has a problem with it, which he has every right to. So it's best to find someone who suits him more
Well by what u told already, she seems that she'd hookup when single but not cheat
I'd dare her, especially uf i had a double to body count... I'd better not complain or mention bout hers
I'd daTe her, i meant
I don’t understand, if you’ve only slept with 37 people why do you care if she only slept with 15? Is the sex good? Do you want her to get more experience? We are the experiences that make us. Go discover each other.
I needed a good chuckle this morning, and I apologize in advance for getting it at your expense. :) What's funny is that you acknowledge your hypocrisy but with a specific caveat, while she has the opposite caveat. Now that's funny.
ONS's mean nothing to her because "it was just sex", but she's concerned that you were emotionally involved with "too many women" already and then moved on. So why won't you do the same with her? Your concern is that she DOESN"T get emotionally involved enough and won't with you, so she'll continue to hook up as she gets bored with the newness and won't commit. So it's gone from "funny ha ha" to a sort of "funny pathetic", if you see what I mean?
Seems like the way past your hurdles are to dump all this on the table and tell each other plainly how much, and how deeply, you're each afraid of these things. Then see if you're both willing to overcome your fears and seriously devote yourselves to each other, understanding but changing your past behaviors. None of this will work unless you both REALLY fucking want it to, and that means sticking with it and communicating when things get shaky, and not giving up. It's easy to say "we tried" and go back to your old ways.
So... in the words of Don Henley..." How bad do you want it?" ?
This comment gave me my chuckle of the day 💀 Best advice I’ve read for this question, should get MHO. Thank you for telling him to deal with this like he’s an adult that’s put his dick inside 30-some women.
@princesssnowflake LOL Thank you. It was pretty funny stuff.
You already fucked her so... It's a bit late for these questions now. Whatever She's got you've got. Lol
Well not really. If. yoy wear a condom and skip the oral on her then you're good.
You have a history, she has a history. Keyword is : history.
If you cannot handle that then don't ask her or anyone in the future.
You're 26?
Take your balls out of your mother's purse and start living. If you can't then move on.
Don't get tied up in the past.
Easy.
Its about getting over yourself, not your partner.
She probably can't commit to a longer term relationship. Always looking for another dick. For men is mostly physical, for women if prevents bonding at some point.
Run while you can.
Get over it. Talk to a therapist.
The issue is entirely with you, rather than between you both.
I don't get this you have had 37 flings she had 15 and you have a problem. I was in exact same position only i had 3 flings/relationship she was very promiscuous in past , I never judged her but I couldn't have a relationship with a girl like this. People seek different idea's of a relationship I couldn't be comfortable with this set up so we parted and i met a great partner well suited same idea's in life. No man wants to be with a bike everyone had a ride. That's my take anyway