How do you handle being sexually rejected from your partner?

Question

I dont handle it well. It hurts so bad to get rejected from my husband. 😥 Any tips on how to handle sexual rejection? If you've ever been in this situation just how do you deal with it?

Barbaric · Accepted Answer

When anybody has a low sex drive, man or woman, it's often because there's some hormonal imbalance. In particular a man with healthy testosterone levels will want sex regularly, and low sex drive can often be a sign of low testosterone because testosterone is the hormone that gives us sex drive. Testosterone is also affected negatively by stress and fatigue.

Some people are telling you to talk about him and come to some kind of compromise. I don't think that compromise is really a good idea, because usually when it comes to lack of sex the issue is lack of sexual desire. If you ask someone to compromise without addressing the lack of desire to have sex, then you're asking them to have sex when they're not really into it. I don't know about you but I'd rather have sex when she's really into it too.

There's also a difference between men and women. Men obviously have to get hard to have sex, which requires sexual arousal. If the arousal isn't there that's just not going to happen, and that can cause men to avoid sex because not being able to get it up causes a lot of anxiety for most men, and can cause a downward spiral where the next time we have sex we're anxious about it happening again, which in itself can cause it to happen again. Women on the other hand if they can't get wet enough, while not ideal, can use lubricant.

I guess the male alternative would be something like viagra, but if he's young he shouldn't need that at all. Something else is off. If you're going to talk to him about anything at all, it should be about figuring out what that is and fixing it. Whatever it is, it's a sign of bad health.

Testosterone levels can actually be fixed in a number of ways, because there are a number of things that affect it. Things you might not have considered.

I might be wrong, but I think you once said that you're a vegetarian or a vegan? Diet is often the number one cause of low-t, and vegetarian/vegan diets cause low-t. Usually because they're too low in fat and cholesterol (which are essential to testosterone production) and include a lot of soy products which lower test. If he is as well, that might have a lot to do with it. In that case you need to feed him man food.

Does he get enough sleep? If not his t levels are definitely taking a hit, because you produce the most testosterone in the later stages of an 8-10 hour sleep.

Does he get enough exercise?

Dougzy · Accepted Answer

This is a brilliant question and something which I have experienced not often I think once.
I live in the UK and just to give an idea they are pretty cold people and their gambit is from what I have experienced is about control. So count the normal stuff out like passion etc. bland food bland people.
as you can see I am from a different culture famed for other things and I love my body and ensure that it works well as I never know what I may encounter!
I am limited on choices any personally I would rather go without if I am fine dining I hope this forming a picture. A piece of advice my father gave me was to be good in all that you do" I like my dad!
The storyDating this woman she`s ok borderline Macdonald's happy meal (i had broken the rule).
Had to get a mattress protector kept soaking my sheets. I never really ever seemed to hit the mark, to be honest. One day she says to me "You make me cum too much!" Ok, bizarre I Think but hey different strokes for different folks.

The freeze-out!I say nothing this goes on for about a month I say nothing (i really was not bothered as she had not worked how to please me anyway more frustrated than anything else )!

Then the attackWhy don`t you touch me anymore etc all that stuff, I let that ride. What made it funny was that because I didn`t react to the shut out the rejection held absolutely no effect to me just gave time to weigh things up look at the person, assess how I feel about, etc, because in my mind. I was waiting for something good to happen instead I got re-enforcement of how crap it was.

The lessons learned Good meals always leave you wanting more and a nice apple is better for you than a happy meal.
Moral of the story Respond don`t React life is a pleasure.

elizamichale1 · Accepted Answer

Thankfully i am not yet rejected by anyone except i used to be called out a lot for having smaller tits when i was in school and later but now i am 36D and all of my clients always give very nice comments about me However, few times some clients got angry and sometimes women call out n say i am big titty n they hate me

But if it happens as you described i can totally understand its very very hurtful and not so easy to absorb but i think then you should analyze if he was upset or in stress of something that he couldnt focus on u or maybe change your ways to seduce him n get a little kinky n naughty for him... try doing it the way he fancies i mean try to bring his fantasies come true

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

OMG! ... I am so sorry to hear that Ms Apple! :(

It usually has nothing to do with sex, there are other things going on that he is perplexed about, it could be something in the relationship or it could have nothing whatsoever to do with it, like something at his job or with an outside family member, you know, something else he is going through.

Identifying the problem is the first step to a cure.

Good luck Ms Apple, now I am worried about you though...

How do you handle being sexually rejected from your partner?

AustinMan · Answer

Do you know why he's saying no?

Nawlins34 · Answer

The biggest thing you have to understand is that people don't reject sex for no reason. You want to get to the reason why they don't want to have sex.

If it is work-related, a short-term strategy is to have sex on his days off.

But long-term? you need to have a difficult talk with your husband. He's not setting boundaries either at work or for himself, possibly a combination of both. He has to let work know that he may need some help on the project he's working on. At the same time, if he's overdoing it, he has to set that boundary to have some "We" time.

Don't take this sitting down and suffering in silence. YOU also have to set some boundaries and let him know that you're understanding of the situation short-term, but he better be about formulating a long-term strategy. Don't put this on his plate for him to solve it though, you both solve this as a team.

This is a litmus test for your marriage.

I hoped I helped, good luck and be safe.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Try taking to him.. If that don't work.. Maybe reject him when he wants sex, not to play games but as a way to show him how you feel when he does it.. Unfortunately some people don't get it until it happens to them.. And then talk again and let him know the way he felt being rejected is the same way you feel when he does it to you

DianaWest · Answer

you're only 24, have kid (s), and a husband already? wow, i'm behind schedule.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I def dont handle it well and consider doing something rebellious. Thats when i know its time to break things off. Like i dont mean break it off from one rejection but if it keeps randomly happening more than it should then yea im out

VIVANT · Answer

Is an open relationship a possibility?

seems like this is a long term issue.

you say sex is the only issue but him not caring aboit the fact it’s an issue seems to be an issue in my opinion

anyhow if it’s the only issue it’s Easy to fix

in my opinion sex is between partners exclusively but if someone just doesn’t want sex then It’s not between anyone soooooo I don’t see why you can’t have sex elsewhere ~~provided you are careful

I think you’re way too young to be giving up sex esp When you adore it and given that you are married. It’s messed up.

katiesmuff · Answer

That would be a tough situation to be in. I think that if you truly love the person your going to give it some leeway and attempt to understand and hope that it will change.

Quackthulu · Answer

By getting a new partner.

Juststrollinagain · Answer

Hi, I am glad that you found that someone. I wish I knew the answer. However I have sexually rejected a man and I dont know what to do because its online and well he could be a cat fish. But otherwise I am sad that I have hurt him if he really feels for me like he says he did.
:(.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If he knows that the lack of sex is ruining the relationship but still isn't doing anything to remedy the problem, then what does that say about his priorities?

Flower7 · Answer

Has your husband told you the reason that he rejects you?

Red_Arrow · Answer

Wow! Really hard to imagine a husband rejecting you! I was in the military for 20 years of active duty plus some reserve time. As long as I was not deployed, I certainly tried to always make time for sex with my wife. Sometimes it was impossible, but usually was able to find ways to make time. He really needs to learn that he is entitled to some time that the military cannot claim as theirs.

DSimus · Answer

Long lasting love is much different than the explosive passion we experience when we first are with someone. It's important to stay in constant communication with your partner. Have their experiences changed? Do they want to try different things? Is there something you can explore together to reignite passion? Maybe he has more sexual urges at a different time of day?

As someone who has been the rejector and the rejectee... I can only say you have to talk through it.

ohshee · Answer

Yes it sucks and then your mind starts working and then the porn gets turned on. And that's how the fight started LMAO to be honest I hated it when it would happen but it was always the other way around I don't think no ever turned it down lol no I'm single and I've tried to turn myself down but that won't work either

SarahsSummer · Answer

I deal with it because I know its temporary and I know that his needs are such that sometimes he needs sex and sometimes he needs sleep or alone time. I do to. If it becomes a trend or a regular thing about being rejected, I dont think we are a good math and it's time ti leave. Like I did from my last relationship.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

There have been work situations in the past where I was so stressed out, even in my off time, that it really killed the sex drive. I recall a girlfriend I had in my 20's who brought it up with me but she really heard me out when I explained it. She worked in the same industry so I think that helped her to "get it"...

My advice without knowing the entire situation, would be to not take it personal. Talk to him but don't put pressure on him because that could add more pressure onto whatever he is going through at the moment.

Dazey14 · Answer

my dad told me to be careful because men will eventually stop asking. They get sick of that crap and the silent treatment too.

TruthBringer · Answer

Hmm never experienced this, but I can assure you that they won't even dare to try. Because they know where the door is in case they do. In my case, sex is an effective way to relieve stress. Everyone is busy in their lives, so I don't find that as an excuse. There may be something deeper there you need to dig. It can also be that his testosterone levels have dropped and he doesn't feel like having sex.
Let me guess, he doesn't work out, does he?

Godofmyownwurld · Answer

hasn't happened. If she wasn't in the mood for sex I'd be fine.

Jjpayne · Answer

The best you can do is talk with them to comprise. Otherwise I think just trying to play yourself some nights might just have to be the solution. You have to find a way to make you both happy. Or at least try to

How do you handle being sexually rejected from your partner?

Superb Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girls

Related Questions

What Girls & Guys Said

Latest Questions