How long would you be psychologically comfortable waiting for sex, if you were very much in love with someone?

[VIVANT]

I ask about psychology, bc I think ultimately this is what it comes down to... anyone can jerk off for physical release. Sex has a psychological impact that going solo does not. As well as the doubt that waiting seems to cause people. Especially when in love.

doubting they are desirable
doubting they are cared for
doubting their partner has an actual drive
doubting compatibility - sex life will ever be good

Im going to leave the “physical need”alone Bc I don’t believe sex is a physical need. Physical contact and affection and release - definitely.. but all this can be accomplished easily without intercourse. If you don’t agree that is fine, there are many other posts dealing with the physical demands of lust. This just is not one of them. 😊.

Likewise, I am not including relationship status.. People can be in love and have desire and feel close whether they are in a relationship or not. Not everyone wants a relationship. To me the more significant the significant thing is being in love, not being in a relationship. But of course the question very easily involves being in a relationship, if you are in love. .. So if you would never have sex - in love or not - outside of a relationship, you can still answer the question all the same. count from when you fell in love. Not from when you met or Bryan dating.

So, psychologically, how long after falling in love , do you think you would be comfortable waiting for sex?

While I would love to hear you expand on your answer below, please don’t forget to vote.

Thank You 🌟

[Jamie05rhs]

My answer falls somewhere between "a year" and indefinitely. I can certainly wait a year, and quite possibly even two years. I might even make it to 2 and a half if I try hard enough. But "indefinitely" is a no-go. I would have to know that it (marriage, in my case) was going to happen at least sometime, so I would have something to look forward to; otherwise the whole thing is futile. Not to sound crude, but I do very much believe that sex should be part of a romantic relationship (again, after marriage, in my case), so there would really be no point for me to even date someone if they were asexual. If I like someone, I would certainly respect their boundaries, but I would still have a desire to "hit that" eventually. Just being honest.

[Jamie05rhs]

Having said that, my timeline for waiting for affection is much shorter. I am a human, and I have a need to be loved. It's just a fact. So if a woman continues to be cold with me and won't ever give me any sign that she wants me as a person or wants to be with me as a partner, then that's not something I can bear for a very long time. If all of my romantic advances and attempts to get closer are shut down, then there's really no point in me hanging around anymore. Eventually, she's either going to have to give me a chance or just cut me loose. I can't stay in limbo forever.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[ZackBan]

While sex and masturbation are means of physical release and all that, I have always believed that the thought of having sex shouldn't be such a guilty one and therefore it's not the case for me anymore.
You specified that it's someone I'm very much in love with, well by the time I'm "very much in love" the desire for sex would be at a peak, along with the rest of the emotions of course.
If it were up to me and go for the sex on the spot. But it's rarely ever up to one party. And if she wants to wait then obviously I'll wait but every day I wait is a day too many for me, still better then to talk her into it when she's not yet ready and end up with a terrible experience.

[SydneySentinel]

With my first love, we waited nearly a year. That was really hard to do but we were both young and both virgins.
I can't put a specific amount of time on how long I need, but I have to have trust there. Also, you said if I was in love with someone-- if I'm in love with someone and he is in love with me-- and we are in a relationship, I want to have sex with that person. I'm ready. I don't mind waiting, although it would feel quite straining (given that we are in love). I chose 6 months because indefinitely seems forever.

[Sweetnessxoxo]

I think i could wait for like at least a year or more but knowing how guys are I don’t know if they would want to wait that long that’s why i was thinking about that 5 months thing since I don’t want that person to think that i am pushing them away. I’ve lived 18 years and i have never had sex and i’ve been fine so I don’t really expect it.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I understand. It isn’t hard to wait. From what I have gathered, guys -who like you genuinely - the most important thing is communication and contact and feeling desired, it isn’t really the sex itself. If other stuff is happening and you are a virgin (so it isn’t like you had sex with other guys but just don’t want him) they could conceivably wait a year. The idea you have sex with others but don’t want them, seems to be a big issue psychologically. Which Doesn’t apply to virgins. And then just overall feeling like you care And are really into them... I think Bc there tends to be an overlap of distancing and lack of sex, the two get conflated. But if things are warm and everyone is happy and doing stuff... sex itself isn’t a huge deal. Unless it’s sex that is the main priority... but you don’t want those guys anyhow. I don’t mean they shouldn’t want sex most of all, I just mean that isn’t what you are after so they are not for you so it Doesn’t matter if they don’t like waiting 😊

[Robertcw]

It's easy to wait a year for a unicorn girl. The ones you actually want to get pregnant. Totally different from just seeing a hot girl at the beach. One you freakout if she gets pregnant, the other you celebrate. For the latter waiting years is easy. For the former I think 1 month is good.

[Robertcw]

Actually I would split two more times. Random hot girl on beach -- 1-3 meetups. Coworker -- one month. Unicorn -- 1 year+

[Sweetnessxoxo]

@Robertcw lmao that’s funny because i am literally like a unicorn girl

[Robertcw]

🤣 external-content.duckduckgo.com/.../

I don't know you so I'm not sure. It takes months of knowing a girl, possibly years, to know for sure!

But if you are, then that's really good.

[summiter]

Maybe a month but I would have to masturbate frequently before we start having sex.

[JackSmy]

However long it takes for us to feel close enough, dating, and sharing interests, liking each other, and feeling comfortable together. Sometimes just cuddling on the couch and watching movies together, can be more intimate, and more emotionally and psychologically fulfilling that having sex.
I think too many rush in, too fast, without knowing the other well enough, and really caring for the person, rather than the sexual act, and brief passion.

[Apple1996]

At most a month. Sex is very important to me

[VIVANT]

Do you have an idea of how it might adversely affect you if you went past a month?

[Apple1996]

I go without sex from my husband all the time because he is away so often for work but that is totally okay with me since we have been together so long. In a brand new realtionship I'd want to have sex early so I know we were compatible

[EmbraceThePain]

I mean, if I really loved, trusted, thought she was the one for me, and other specifics I can explain then I’d wait however long she wanted to wait. Keep in mind, men can and are ready to have sex day one. Although, I wouldn’t say “indefinitely,” I can wait a long time. I don’t know which to mark on the poll.

[TremorJay]

The key word for me is comfortable, it's gets uncomfy at one month. Capable is a different word

[VIVANT]

Yes I’m so glad you noticed... I want to know about comfort. Not simply enduring 😊 Do you have an idea what kind of impact it wouid have to wait longer? What starts to happen?

[TremorJay]

I slowly start to get paranoid about the relationship. If there's a loss of attraction towards me, then I get introspective about what I'm doing and what I could do differently. I'll keep up my efforts and communication to figure out what's happening. If nothing seems to work then I could see my behavior becoming more erratic and desperate. It's happened in the past, so I'd be better equipped to handle it, but I still think there is a limit to what I can handle. As I've gotten a little older, I've gotten much more comfortable being alone. Depending on the communication and efforts by my partner I could see myself happy without sex. I don't know how long though, because it depends so much on the person and the situation. It's physical contact that matters more than sex, so if they're still able to be close to me if would have a near negligible effect on the relationship. If they become cold and distant, that would rapidly accelerate erratic behavior to the point where I might end the relationship prematurely.

[Jjpayne]

As long as she needed but I'd sure like affection soon after girlfriend/boyfriend status

[VIVANT]

Yeah I get that 👍🏻

[ShortCircuit]

A few years.

[Sevenpointfive]

i've waited 3 weeks before. but i was in a thing where it was 1 year and never had sex. i think i ended it because she wanted to

[just_a_potato]

If I'm really that in love with them i'll wait as long as I have to if I get to do them

[York16]

beautiful little potato you half of my age and I have the same opinion.

[just_a_potato]

Thank you I am a pretty attractive potato :)

[York16]

I see 😎

[Avicenna]

A few days at most

[VIVANT]

How do you think you would You feel if it went past that?

[Avicenna]

It would be stressful. I had two long distance relationships in 2018 and it was very hard to be so far away from them.

[VIVANT]

Thank you 😊 Can you expand a bit on what is involved in the stress? Like how does it manifest? what does or how does it affect?

[Avicenna]

It's a burning desire to have sex and ejaculate. Masturbation only partly satisfies it and it makes it hard to focus on other things. I don't have this when I am regularly having sex.

[Dargil]

F. I would want sexual intimacy to progress in its time (fairly soon) through mutual oral sex. Intercourse could wait indefinitely.

[SpiritBear]

3 months, because sex isn’t everything, but gosh darn do I wish I could have some. 😣

[VIVANT]

Lolol nice. Honesty. 😛🌹

[VIVANT]

How do you think it would feel to have to wait longer?

[SpiritBear]

Straining. I’d be thinking about it a lot. Especially considering I never had it yet still

[AmtgardJean]

I have been in a relationship with someone who is very sick. I have gone 4 years without sex. Caveat I am not psychologically comfortable about it. But I do love her and I don't believe in cheating.

[ChiTown33]

I don't know. At what point do you break psychologically? What is that like?

[KatherineJ]

I waited six months and then I couldn’t take it anymore.

[Grond21]

Until I get married. However long that is

[Desconhecida]

We can go crazy and even give in to it if there's only lust involved. When there's love, people can wait even until marriage for the company of the other would be enough already

[loveslongnails]

I can't really answer your question because I don't even use the term "falling in love" any longer. I consider it a misnomer. I believe you love someone, or you don't. Most people "fall in lust" quite often, even on a daily basis. :)

[VIVANT]

Well that’s ok then from whenever you” fall” however you fall. I do not think falling in love is loving they are not the same at all... I’m not sure why the expression came to be. One is a feeling The other an act. .. in French the saying is “knocked off your feet “😊 To me it is really a profound reaction to a person, and an indicator that this is a person could love and should be open to it ... but it’s the point where I’m kind of blown away by them and have good intentions. 🤷‍♀️😊 It isn’t really list as I’m not suddenly rating to go Vick. It is passion but something else.. for me. This can be different for anyone. I think you can answer “ from the time of fall” 😁

[loveslongnails]

I can't really accomplish what you outline. I get "knocked off my feet" most days, by something. I can be a person, an event, an act or action, something I read, something I see, something I hear. The closest I can come to your description is meeting someone and thinking " wow, they seem like such a beautiful person - now that's someone I could love". But once you're involved with someone, that experience extends only to friendship, possibly on a deeper level.

[VIVANT]

So when you realize hey ! I REALLY Like this person romantically.. How about from that point? Maybe it happens everyday and you can’t wait more than 24 hours 🤷‍♀️

[loveslongnails]

The best way I can answer this is... when I know I love someone, and they know they love me, I don't want to wait another day! That said, if it's "lust", and she's lusting after me too... uh, why wait? LOL

[lucas262]

Bible says it is better to marry than burn with passion.

[Philyouup]

for as
long as it took