The ONLY reasons I can see why people think you are selfish is because of
1) It's your age of course. People may think you haven't really matured fully to really understand what it means to care for a real live human being. They may think you view a baby like a doll, when it's so much more than that. You will wake up in the middle night for a long time becuase the baby doesn't want to sleep, or it's crying a lot, it needs this, it needs that. You won't have any time to be with friends or do whatever you want.
2) Maybe they think you are not financially fit, such as having a good job to back up all the costs, like prenatal vitamins, doctor visits, diapers, baby formulas, etc. Sometimes it's best to save up a lot of money before just making a baby.
Then again, you're just asking him. So, it's not like you're moving in irrational behavior and actions. My best bet is that he may not be ready. Guys are not in such a rush for stuff like this. They usually like a lot of freedom before something so huge and life-changing comes along. But yeah, just sit him down and ask him what are his ideas about having kids and if so, what time frame?
how long have you guys been together?
have you talked about having kids before?
if you've been together for more than a year, you should have a good idea where this relationship is headed and if or not he plans to stick around. maybe, the next time you're out, point out a cute kid and say something like, "aww, s/he's adorable; i wonder what ours will be like". his reaction will be a dead giveaway lol.
speaking from experience~ when i was a teenager, i wanted 4 kids; it wasn't until my early 20s that i realized i didn't want them at all because they don't fit into my life plan (now, or ever). so i would definitely hold off, because i know that who i am now would have been miserable with any number of kids.
Wth there's no way you're ready for a baby at 19, at 19 you definitely lack the stability in life and most importantly the relationship, the maturity and the financial means to give birth to and raise a child. Don't even think about it unless you're at least 25 and have been with your boyfriend for a considerate amount of time.
he's going to say NO.
Why do teenagers and even adults at the age of 20 to 24 want babies.
First some of them can't put money aside for gas and bills or even rent.
Second you're probably going to be overwhelmed from pregnancy where you're going to have to stay with your mom and dad or one of the parents.
Third maybe you should wait til you matured. Like at the age of 26.
Most parents at the age of 19 or even 24 tend to sell their baby for adoption.
Because they found out that paying rent matters
Because asking someone how to ask your boyfriend to make a baby. Isn't very mature if you ask me.
I'm just saying you might make a mistake if you have a baby at that age.
I think you should have a baby after you get married because your baby will get the love and protection of a family. I have heart about a few film stars and models who have sex with their boyfriends and have babies. Later on they dump their boyfriend and keep their baby. Of course , whatever situation you want for yourself , while having sex with your boyfriend , tell him not to use any condom because you need to get pregnant and bear children. Don't use any pills to prevent pregnancy. You can tell him lovingly that you want a baby. But never try to have that baby by cheating him.
I would never cheat him into it
Good. I know that you will not cheat. Next time bring a similar topic where a man wants to have a baby from his girlfriend and then live a single life for the rest of his life with the baby. This topic could be very interesting.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!As for you being selfish, I would never presume to assume that. What I would say is that as a parent, I always tried to position myself to give my daughter every opportunity. One way I did that was to wait until I was in my early 30s so we were financially stable and the relationship was established so she had two parents growing up who were both there and invested.
try having a casual conversation about what he would do if you guys a child. mabe ease it up to the point where you say. "babe, i love you so much, and i really wanna have a baby with you. you would be a great father" or somewhere along that
"If we had a baby, would you prefer a girl or boy? What would you name it?" Just questions like that to start the convo.
Tell him how he feels about your future. Don't be surprised if he isn't ready though.
Exactly. Young, unmarried, etc... I'd be like, "Slow down girl."
@ProbablyTooMature I wouldn't be in a rush either lol
I won't be. because he is only 22 and I understand completely if he isn't ready. it will happen sooner or later though we don't use protection. but I want him to know I want one
drop hints, spend time alone picking out possible baby names.
ask him what he would do if you became pregnant.
while you are having sex whisper in his ear to make a baby in you.
I asked him that one time because we unprotected sex and he said no problem
then set up a romantic meal or evening and tell him that you are ready.
Ask yourself this first.. Are you both emotionally and financially ready to have a baby?
Do you want to get married first? Make sure that you have a stable relationship before creating a little life?
You blindfold him and then you tell him using American Sign Language.
Don't be an idiot; it's very unbecoming. Get married before having kids otherwise, in the long-run, you will be in a world of shit for the rest of your life.
Better lock in that rate before you sign on the dotted line.
Absolutely you're selfish. I would argue that you are complete scum actually.
It is a mother's role to ensure the best possible upbringing for her child, which includes a FATHER role figure around.
99% chance that by 21 daddy is going to be gone and you will raise kids with daddy issues... and they are going to only further propagate the cycle.
After all... you know what they say! "Girls with daddy issues aren't the exception anymore, they're the norm!"
Tell him you want to have "kids someday" and see how he reacts, go from there.
Don't women lay eggs or something?
To answer your second question, yes in a way you are. You're not thinking about the sort of life you'll be giving the child. What can you do at 19/20 to ensure they have everything they need? You're BARELY passed being a child yourself, and yet you think you can raise one?
Just tell him. But think long and hard about the consequences. I've made many mistakes in life due to not thoroughly thinking through possible consequences
A baby to me would never be a mistake
Get a good degree, a good job and a good income before thinking about kids.
https://money.cnn.com/2014/08/18/pf/child-cost/
College is nothing these days. I know so many people who have college degrees and do nothing with it.
Your grocery bill , your bank , your insurances, your landlord don't ask your degree, they ask how much you earn (thanks to that degree)
The only thing you have to have is a high school diploma to work and I have one I think I am pretty good and I have experience in a few things
Ask him, then when he says no drop the subject for the next 5 years or so.
😂😂
Of course you're selfish lol. Listen ginger, I want a kid too now but I want to be able to support the kid and myself properly. To plan this out I have to assume the relationship is not going to work which will cause me to pay additional expenses, so I need to be able to pay a mortgage by myself and other living costs like food (and I'm not talking about kd everyday), pay child support, pay for sports, activities and gifts for the kid. I also need my partner to do the same. Income isn't a problem for me but stability is. There is a lot to think about and you MUST plan for thr worst, it's only fair to you, your partner and most importantly this new life you want to create.
I pay everything now by myself
After marriage
Sorry not selfish I wanna say stupid. It may happens that u like babies, well so does I like a minigun doesn't mean i shud have one. Rest it's ur life, m no one to judge.
Pls be cautious.
What is he like?
He is really family oriented. his profile picture is his baby cousin. He is Hispanic. all his family have multiple children. and when he sees kids he smiles just as big as I do
Asker... ok then I would just mention that you're wanting to have a family with him and how would he like that idea. Smile when you ask !!
I have a lot of people telling me I am selfish for even thinking about it
Just get prego, it's what everyone does
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