Husband wants me to fulfill his wife sharing fantasy. What should I do?

my husband has been asking me about this for about 2 years now. I honestly feel really uncomfortable about it but I don't want to disappoint him. He wants to watch me have sex with another man. And I don't get why this is a fantasy of his. I think it's morally wrong even if he gave his okay. is this common? does he want an excuse to sleep with a woman so he is getting me to do this so he doesn't feel guilty? is he gay? does he need to have other men make him confident he got a hot wife but having them compliment me? help!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sorry for his butt-hurtness, but if he loves you and you feel this uncomfortable about it, he shouldn't put you in a position of feeling guilty or make you feel horrible for something you don't like. He's your husband, and he should be the one you should be most comfortable to be yourself and be who you are and to think how you want around most. The watching another guy with you thing is called, "cuckholding", and I really don't get it myself. I suppose he wants to see from a voyeuristic point of view, what it looks like for you to get fucked. It's a different view watching someone getting fucked than being the one doing the fucking. So, maybe it's this that is his desire. I don't know, maybe ask if he would, instead, be willing to watch you masturbate with a vibrator/dildo or things like this? Maybe it's just the watching you getting off is the thing.

    But, bottom line, if you're uncomfortable with it, he shouldn't be pressuring you into it.

    • Done that. He wants more. He isn't forcing me or anything. He actually quit bringing it up but I don't know if it will stay that way

    • Then he might have dropped it in his mind since you never reciprocated his willingness to try it. So instead of making you more uncomfortable, he just let it go and dropped it. So he might not bring it up again until you maybe ask about fetishes for him again.

    • He's going to be more and more unfulfilled. I think you should embrace this and go for it!

  • If you're really uncomfortable about it, that's not going to make it much fun for you. It's a reasonably common fantasy for males, yes. Some of it is a powerful thing - where your partner has the power over the other guy (can control the situation , and a number of guys enjoy the voyeur side of watching other people having sex. There may be things he'd like to see someone else do to you just to see how you like it and your reaction. But I'd be talking to him about it all, especially since you're not that comfortable with the idea. Best of luck with your situation :-)

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't get it either. I had a very brief affair with an ex and my husband found out and despite forgiving me he sometimes asks me about it when we are making love and wants to know if I enjoyed it. I am turned on and being honest so I say yes which only seems to turn him on more.

    He admits he doesn't understand why it turns him on knowing that I enjoyed being fucked by somebody else and it was made even stronger when he found out it was only a matter of hours before we did it together ourselves.

  • Do not do it. It will ruin the marriage. I'll tell you exactly what comes after it. One: he starts making more extreme requests. Two: he starts accusing you of cheating continuously. Three: he starts cheating.

    He should respect you enough not to pressure you into this sick fantasy he has. I'd be looking for a divorce laywer asap.

  • Tell him if he mentions it again, you're leaving. You already told him no.

    • No she says she liked it

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If your not wanting to do it don’t! Tell him the idea doesn’t turn you on at this time and if it doesn’t you’ll let him know! Best way I can think of to drop the subject you need to want something if you don’t then don’t!

  • It's a kind of common fantasy, but if you're not into the idea he should accept that.

  • I like the idea of a hotwife. not a cuckold or anything, I work out of town a lot and this is something I'm ok with. the swinging lifestyle is not a place for anyone who one can't openly talk about this stuff with thier partner. and 2 is only doing it to make someone happy.. you either really want to do this stuff or not, there is no in between.

  • All good questions, which only he can answer. I know one thing. Introducing someone else into your bed can have unintended consequences. I have seen it dissolve more than one marriage. "Fools rush in where angels dare not tread."
    ~JSmith

  • Honestly, besides rape I hate stuff like that the most. Wife/husband sharing is so... sickening to me. It's... weird, I don't see how a husband would want that. Besides, I believe it could prove fatal to the relationship. Not only in sharing a spouse with someone but also if the spouse that is being shared doesn't want to do it.

  • This is somewhat common but you need to talk to him about it to find out why he really wants to do it.

  • if you dont feel comfortable. doing it then dont. that is a lot of a husband to ask of a wife. you aren't onligated to do that

  • I think even if this is a fantasy its one that he shouldn't mention because of how selfish it is... Id ask him to stop mentioning it that you think it is morally appalling

    • How is this selfish? The wife gets two men to pleasure her! smh

  • It's called "cuckolding" and best not get into it, just to please him.

  • Do it! Expand your sexual horizons, have all the focus on your pleasure, all while fulfilling a hot, erotic fantasy of your husband's. I think this would really re-ignite your sex life. Loose your inhibitions and embrace your sexual power.

  • say it to him... talking is the best way of solving problems in a relationship... but choose your words wisely...

  • Question what the hell his concept of a marriage is and secondly, why the hell did you marry that idiot?

    • wasn't aware of this kink until after we were married. Also in everything else he is a great guy lol

    • I would fall short of calling sharing my partner in marriage a kink but what do I know. I have old fashion values when it comes to marriage.

  • It’s actually a huge turn on for a guy I know have done it and my wife got off on it to but it made me really horny to then I had my turn and enjoyed the whole experience neve thought it would turn me on but it did watching her fuck and suck another guy and then we both fucked her and cummed all over her tits it was the best sex ever my wife really got off to once everyone was relaxed it was very pleasurable for all

  • don't do anything you are not comfortable with

  • What's your gut feeling tell you?

  • A lot of men have that fantasy but believe me, people have much more extreme fantasies than that. There is nothing wrong with it when it's a fantasy. You can satisfy that desire by roleplaying, sometimes. Actually going through with it requires YOUR okay, not his. If you aren't comfortable with it, he should understand

  • If you don't like then don't do that. Simple.

    Try and fulfil his fantasy on your terms? Tie him to the bed while you sit in a chair with a dildo and describe your other lover penetrating you?

  • Dont do anything you're uncomfortable with.
    Essentially his thought process is this, he thinks you're so sexy to the point that he doesn't deserve to keep you all to himself, that you should be able to do what you want and at the end of the day still only choose to be with him, he wants to see you with other people because he wants other people to experience how amazing you are and how lucky he is.

  • Your husband is a pathetic excuse of a man.

    • He's a great husband, according to the poster, and shared a sexual fantasy. That makes him "pathetic?" That makes him pretty open to share a sexual fantasy. I give him big kudos.

  • if that´s where your line is then you don´t cross that line period. if he keeps nagging you about it, don´t make vague statements. be assertive. say:"no honey, i love you but this is not gonna happen.". don´t be appologetic about it, this is you and if he wants you he´s not gonna get that. he has to realize that you´re being serious then he hopefully won´t bother you anymore with this.

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