Husband won't stop fingering himself after I go to sleep?

Question

So I'm the one who wanted to try something new and I had a little too much to drink. I googled to see how to do it just right and I did it while I went down on him, massaging his prostate. He enjoyed it. The problem is that now he does it to himself every single night multiple times a night waking me up and it's really pissing me off. When I bring it up to him he totally denies it and his answer is I'm not gay or he'll tell me that's completely insulting and act like he's not doing that when I'm laying there watching him. I don't think he's going to stop anytime soon. He'll act like he's asleep but he's not and when I catch him he'll start snoring. He's only getting more intense with it and I'm tired of getting woke up with this BS. What am I supposed to do now?
I don't even want to do that for him anymore and I regret that I ever did it because I opened a can of worms that I can't close and I'm disgusted because he enjoys it so much that rather it be a pleasure thing between the two of us I feel like it's a almost gay thing because he's doing it to himself every night without me so he doesn't even need me anymore. If this causes the end of the marriage it's almost like it's really my fault for trying something new that I didn't know he would like so much.

stratford · Accepted Answer

Just because he likes bottom fun doesn't mean he is gay. The prostate is a sensitive area that brings lots of pleasure regardless of orientation.

That said, it does seem a little unusual if he is doing the multiple times per might while you are sharing a bed. Perhaps he has an added thrill of getting caught or wanting to do that to himself while you watch, or perhaps he has an addiction to sex?

You could try and take it to the next level to try and satisfy his craving by pegging him? Or perhaps next time you catch him doing it, try taking over (even if you're not feeling horny) and see what his reaction is?

Do you and your guy like to have fun with your butt too - how does that feature in your sexual experiences?

StrongMale · Accepted Answer

Here’s what I think about your situation. I think you should start by trying to back off from being angry with him. You showed him something sexual that he thoroughly enjoys. So, I think you should start by telling him that you are happy that he enjoys it. You may even want to ask him if you can watch him do it to himself. And then also ask him if he can do it at other times so that it doesn’t disturb your sleep. Maybe, by making it acceptable and OK with you, he may adjust his behavior and it won’t become such an issue anymore. Just a thought!

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

I took a course in "Prostate Massage 101" in San Francisco at a giant Gay Leather and Toy Shop downtown so I know something about this and you must have done a good job the first time because when done properly it is nirvana for a him.

Don't torture the poor guy anymore, encourage him to explore and help him again if you can. There are toys for this that you can buy him. Tell him to promise not to wake you up is all.

Husband won't stop fingering himself after I go to sleep?

KarinMcDonald · Accepted Answer

I think that it's time to progress beyond the finger and get yourself a strap-on. I'm sure he wouldn't object to it. Just start out with a small one, and graduallly increase the length and diameter as he adjusts to his new toy.

Guy13 · Answer

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. A good intention never goes unpunished rule in play? Is this a good fed though?

RobT312 · Answer

Haha, we’ll the orgasm can be pretty mind blowing when a guy does that so I get why he likes it …. but just handcuff him for a while and he’ll get over it!
instead of being annoyed, have a real talk with him

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Just put chilli powder / paste on his fingers….

countrygirl8754 · Answer

He fine

Marianna546 · Answer

This was funny in some kinky way lol

Keepitreal007 · Answer

First off it’s not your fault so don’t go there. Second it might just be a phase he’s in. But communicate with him in some way that doesn’t make you both angry and see what you can work out. Sorry, that’s not a fun situation to be in.