Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I am dating a guy and he is not sexual at all - is this a bad sign?

Been getting to know a guy since a few weeks, we will meet soon. We mostly communicate through messaging and phonecalls. He is a very serious guy and always tells me he wants to find a wife and build a family and stuff like that. He talks about those things a lot.
the thing i noticed is, he is very very careful when it comes to sexual stuff. We do talk about things like that but he is like i said very cautious.
is this a bad sign? Does it mean he has a small dick?
Updates:
+1 y
I asked him directly. He said he doesn't wanna scare me away and that i shouldn't have to be worried about him being able to please me in the future. He is definitely a polite man with manners, you can sense that. But I still think he has a tiny penis. Cause I made a joke about size (to see how he reacts) and he immediately changed the topic lol Im probably not used to men not being crazy about sex from the first second. It has influenced me too, in a negative way, obviously...
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Superb Opinion


  • Oh good grief. I'm shaking my head at some of these replies-


    Asker, you're so cynical... moreso than I am! Lol


    Did you consider that maybe he's just being careful? Or maybe he only opens up around someone he really likes or trust?
    I know this might be hard for some of you to believe, but you can like a person without making it ALL about sex or sexual!


    Weird I know... but it's true!


    Honestly, I think he's just waiting to meet you and see if you click in person- then if/when he's comfortable around you, his true side will come out.


    He sounds a lot like myself: I tend to be very serious, and rarely, if ever discuss sex with a guy- at least initially. Why? Because I have to get to know him and feel comfortable. But after that initial phase passes and I see something potentially serious with him: then he gets to see the real me.


    In other words, be patient. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with his penis size or attraction to you.
    Honestly, you should be glad to have a guy that's well rounded and isn't just after your body or sex!!!

Most Helpful Guys

  • Kind of shallow your first thought being that he had a tiny penis. Guys are really turned off by size queens. They don't realize it but it is just not a great impression if girls are more concerned about size in the very beginning.

    One reason could be that he wants to build a strong foundation because building any type of relationship off sexual talk in the beginning can lead to the relationship going no where quick like. Because if you built the foundation of sexting and pics or videos the normal stuff will seem boring and it will always make its way back to sex. Then you have an entire relationship built off fingering and stroking each other.

    He may just be a wholesome guy that respects you and he wants to get to know you and not your body. If sex is your major trigger and are more worried about him having a tiny penis then you might need to find someone more your speed.

    I have had the beginnings start off in conversation and quickly move to sexual things. Then it became unbearable that the girl was asking for a dick pic every day. Not even a hello, how's your day going. Just hey sexy send me a pic of your junk. Hello, just thinking about food and wanted to see your tube steak. I mean it was just blah. I couldn't have a normal conversation with her talking about sex. It was really annoying.

  • It could mean that

    1. he was raised in a family that was not comfortable discussing sexual matters,

    2. he does not want you to perceive him as being primarily interested in sex,

    3. he is embarrassed by sexual matters,

    4. he is a virgin,

    5. he has a small dick,

    6. he is afraid he may drive you away if he raises the topic of sex,

    7. he is inexperienced in dating.

    Have you tried to initiate a discussion about sex? What is it that you want to know about his sexual preferences and experiences? Why do you want to raise those issues so early in the relationship? Do you want to have sex with him on the first date?

    • Im so attracted to him and would love to have sex as fast as possible lol. But ofc i won't do that. Im just surprised how he is so cool about it.

    • Is your ultimate goal just hot sex or a long term relationship?

    • Def something serious, a longterm relationship. But i have such a hard time waiting for sex when i like a guy.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • You’ve met an anomaly in your life that has forced you to broaden your perspective of men and romance... deal with it.
    There is nothing wrong with him being careful or wanting to take the sexual components slowly.
    Also, plenty of men are insecure about their size for no good reason. To assume he is just small is a little ignorant, no offense.
    You could ask him about his sexual history if that makes you more comfortable but there’s no guarantee he would want to share that with you if he took those relationships as seriously as he is attempting to do with you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

22 37

  • on your next date wear the shortest mini skirt you can find then flat out ask him if you can suck his dick and all your answers will be answered right then and there.

  • Omg Oriole are damned if they do) damned if they don't. Maybe he's trying to get to know you, show you he's thinking of you, sees you as more than just sex. Why would that be a problem? How would that imply little dick? Since when did trying to treat someone with class become more of an insult than someone talking way too personal/sexual without even knowing you/meeting you.. Sounds a little ass backwards if you ask me 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • *People are excuse typo

  • Could be that he doesn't find sex very important or that he doesn't want to scare you away. Could be a ton of reasons. You could bring it up with him and ask him.

    • I asked him and he said he doesn't know me that well and doesn't wanna scare me away...

    • But that answer doesn't satisfy you? If you want to be more sexual then let him know you are into that. I hope it works out.

  • No maybe he actually wants to build a connection and do it the "old fashioned way".

  • Why would it mean he has a small dick? I'm wondering what kind of stuff is said during your conversations for you to think that. Have you ever seen him? Maybe he is being cautious because he may not be what you think, such as physically, which is why I ask. I may be in the minority but I think that kind of guy would be preferable compared to horn dogs who can't seem to stop undressing you in their mind and can't converse in anything but sex terms.

  • He’s inexperienced with women. So inexperienced that he mistakenly sees you as wife material. Just let him go. You’re playing games wirh him for amusement.

    • How am i playing games with him? I wanna keep him at all costs! Even if he has a small penis. He seems like a great guy and def won't lose him over smth stupid like that.

    • You complain about guys who were interested in sex. You complain about the guy who isn’t trying to rip your clothes off. A man can’t win. And never joke about a man’s penis. He can find 10 million other women who know better.

    • This guy should get MHO he hit the nail on the head.

  • Option A: Dude is a straight up freak and has a toy chest brimming with floggers and dildos and chains and the like. He avoids talking about sex because if you rile him up he will tie you to an X post and clamp your nipples with clothespins.

    Option B: He knows sex is needed to have a family but other than that doesn't have much physical interest. You'll wind up having his kids which he'll have to watch while you get dolled up to get plowed by your side dick (with his blessing)

    Option C: He's gay and needs a beard.

  • Congratulations. You found a gentleman who doesn't only have only a reptilian brain. I'm envious of you. I have never had a man talking to me about his wish to have a family to me like that.

    Keep him.

    • I never had this either. He even sends me pictures of kids and families together and says hopefully this will be us in the future. And he also mentions how he would buy a bigger car when he has kids and stuff like that. Ges really into it lol

    • That's sweet. Good for you. Make sure he's really single by the way.

  • Just hang out and massage him, make him return the favour and let the conversation turn more sexual over time.

    Use the top of your pointy and middle finger and massage circular motion across the back never on the back middle but at the sides. of the middle.

    That way you convey interest to take it further and make him feel be more comfortable

    • Just imagined thi, mmm sounds so sexy it turned me on lol

    • Just do it and press hard make it border line hurt but not actually painful and you will feel knots to loosen up. Focus on them

    • Also not just the back play around doing it in the legs like in the middle of calf muscle that between at the base of m. Gastrocnemius two headed surface calf muscle. As you work your way to the upper legs at the side. Also the neck, as you hug him you can also bite his ear with the lips no teeth. Help him become more masculine. Look at vahvah fitness 20XX mobility and read grain brain and brain maker by David perlmutter. Also watch stay lean all year around by Thomas delaurer on you tube he has a four part video series. Watch the big fat surpise by Nina Theicholz Netflix together or read the book maybe both. Make your relationship a self improvement workshop project.

    • Show All

  • AWe! he sounds sweet, sounds like he doesn't want to rush anything or have you think he's just using you for sex. I think it's really refreshing compared to most men who just want to bang and move on... I think it's a really good sign.

  • Does he know about your past of ONS?

    • No, tbh, i had sex 3x so far in my life. Its not like i had tons of sex. Im actually rather unexperienced and i told him i can count on one hand the amount of times i had sex... Did i do the wrong thing?

    • You can't really know until you meet. It sounds like you haven't met in person yet.

  • It doesn't say anything about size. It probably stay more about his notions of you or of women in general. It's important so you should talk about this before you spend a lot of precious time.

  • It depends how important sex is to you in your relationship.

  • Sounds like a guy that's all talk and no action 😅

    • What do you mean?

  • As the guy that's done a little bit of online dating if your direct about sex the girls will drop you very quickly he may have had that experience in the past and doesn't want you to drop him so it's just going to take time for him to get to know the actual you.

  • Why does it concern you that he has a small dick? Maybe try kissing him and then press yourself against him you should feel his bonar then you can sort of determine his size, his size shouldn’t be a deal breaker though

  • Does he appear hurt, like something is wrong with him, he is trying to cope with something?

    • Not at all! I think he just has a small penis...

    • Yeah, maybe that makes him insecure about his manhood.

  • not all men jump into bed with a girl first chance they get. some of us like to take things a bit slower. because we don't like hookup culture and one night stand culture.

    • I tend to have 4 rules when dating someone new.
    • 1. no sexual interaction until were in a exclusive relationship.
    • 2. no sex until we have been dating at least 90 days.
    • 3. both of us get tested for STD's and other nasty things to prove we're clean.
    • 4. we both use protection to reduce risk of pregnancy.
    • if a new partner can't follow those. then their most likely not worth my time.
    • the concern he might have a small dick or have no real foreplay skills. is partly due to hookup culture, one night stand culture, modern internet, social media, porn industry, smart phones and more. all playing a role in ruining peoples standards when finding a partner to be with long term.
    • currently dick size is in top 5 reasons a girl will cheat on or leave her partner.

    • When a guy says “we will take things slow”, does that mean he’s not in a rush to be intimate? Or does that mean he isn’t in a rush to jump into a relationship?

    • @Anastacia1989 could be either. depends on context. maybe just straight up ask him.

  • To me it sounds like he doesn't want to rush things or fuck anything up.
    Must be actually counter productive since you're wondering if this is a bad thing.

    • Tbh i only had ons in my life so far and all guys came to sex pretty quick. But he is completely different. Sex is definitely not his motive it seems. Which is very surprising and refreshing to me.

    • That's good, but what does it all have to do with you thinking he has a small dick.

    • I low key feel like your assumptions are going to ruin things, just accept that this guy is actually trying to be civil with you.

  • Small dick? It sounds like he is just being a gentlemen, most girls get turned off when a guy constantly talks about sex so it sounds like this guy actually likes you and doesn’t want to lose you , He isn’t looking at you as a sex toy

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