I am not desirable?

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty large female, learning to love myself and be confident. I'm 25, and struggle with it everyday.

I dated a man a few years back, and we tried having sex twice. Neither of the times he stayed hard. He got soft. He said it was his nerves, but I knew it was me and not being able to turn anyone on. I'm not attractive, I don't want to lie to myself and say I am when I'm not. I know I wouldn't be chosen out of a room full of beautiful women.

Why couldn't I be attractive... it fucking sucks so much. Why was I cursed so badly?

[MrHopper]

I hated my self all my life, you look at my picture and go "well your not ugly" well yeah i was 20 stone and had no dress sense and was pretty boring (more so than i was now) i hated my self. But i figured out who i wanted to be, i wanted to be some one that i wanted to be around (mostly am still a knob). I guess what am saying is find you, be you and the confidence will come with it

I mentioned on other posts that personality really does radiate out, in my time i met women who might describe themselves like you and yet i love being around them as they so fun to be with, you can say what you want and relax and they make you feel positive and i hope they feel the same! Happy people draw people in! Imagine you walk into a room and see a happy person or some one looking miserable, who would you rather talk too! ... i know its hard, but you dont have to do it all the time, just when you feel up to it

[Asker]

Can't get hard on a nice personality lmao

[MrHopper]

hmm you be surprised! i been turned on by women just like that

[MCheetah]

How tall are you? Are you curvy or legitimately "obese?" Are you light skin or dark skinned? Do you have a clear face, or acne? What do you look like? You can't call yourself ugly unless you get unbiased opinions from others.

Most women who claim they're "unattractive" on here, are really just women who are entitled to 10/10 men and won't give men under a 7 the time of day. This has become a cliché on here, at this point. And I say this as a short and ugly male myself.

You're not that entitled Asian chick who only wants super-attractive men, are you?

[Asker]

I'm about 5ft1 and a half, weighing roughly from 230 to 240. I'm very pale and I was once told by a guy I had a good complexion but I don't. I have been told I was hot, but that's a downright lie. Men tell me that on dating apps to woo me into bed with them, when they realize it doesn't work.. then the insults magically come out. I've been personally told that no one would ever walk up to me if my sister was around, or my friends. And they were correct. Infact told me to stand away from them, lol. If I was getting approached by men I'd shut up, but I'm not. I never got that, now I'm hyperfocused on it cause I've always been ignored. Didn't bother me till now.

[Asker]

If she wants a 10/10 that's up to her and her prerogative.

[MCheetah]

Well, many men like big/heavyset women, even short ones. There's nothing wrong with being pale, as long as you have good skin and no acne. If you have acne, use some skin cream and aloe vera to fix it.

You being lied to and told you were hot, is still more than most unattractive men get. We don't even get that!

Don't compare yourself to your sister. I don't know if you've been on Instagram or not,, but there are so many ordinary looking and heavyset women on there. So it's not like there isn't a female body type for every kind of guy out there. I bet you if you opened an Instagram page tomorrow, you'd have 100 followers in under a week.

This is a six foot tall, 450-500 pound, mid-to-late twenties, paranois cat woman on Instagram who still lives with her parents and barely has a job. She has 60k followers on IG. HayleyTheBigNoodle. I don't even find her unattractive, but I know most men would.


I myself aren't shallow, but I also think most people aren't attractive, either. "Beauty" is mostly fake; makeup, lighting, and camera tricks. It's not real, which is why only like 10% or less of people are a 7 or higher. Only like 20% are even a six.

In short, you're probably not as bad as you think you are. We're living in the Age of Simps, where men have never been weaker. Unless you're super-dark, super ugly, or a transperson, I doubt you couldn't amass your own simp army on the internet. Sad times we're living in, but great for insecure women.

[Anonymous]

It’s not your looks that make you undesirable it’s your defeatist personality. I don't know How “large” you think you are but there are millions of thicker women out there in healthy relationships and a big reason for that is because of their confidence. Confidence is sexy, it’s attractive. Throwing yourself a pity party and constantly kicking your own ass with criticism can be such a turn off for men to witness. Especially if you’re the kind of woman that apologizes every time this or that jiggles or you rarely have a positive thing to say about yourself.

[Asker]

I honestly wish people would stop telling me it's a confidence issue. Being confident in yourself is knowing who you are. I know that I'm ugly, and undesirable. I don't get the big deal? Lying to myself thing me that I'm going to find someone amazing is false.

[Opinion Owner]

Confidence is loving yourself and being comfortable in your skin. It’s saying “you know what even if I’m not conveniently attractive, I love myself and I’m not going to tear myself down or let others do it”. It’s not constantly shitting on yourself and feeling like you need to put yourself down first so beat someone to the punch when they likely never were going to say a bad thing about you in the first place.

[Opinion Owner]

If you want to live your life how you are right now then go ahead but that terrible attitude and depressing personality is what makes you undesirable, it won’t be winning any men.

[Yayuyo]

/not being able to turn anyone on. I'm not attractive

This is wrong. Go and look at pornpics. com and search bbw. You'll see some girls your size who are pretty hot. And you're only 25?

[boggboss]

Lol u think u can read that guys mind and know why he couldn't stay hard and are basing that on you being unattractive the amount of hoops u are jumping through to prove your point is ridiculous

[Asker]

It's not ridiculous? I'm proving my point actually.

[boggboss]

No you are bending situations that are not factual to fix your narrative thats its a known thing that nerves can fuck with a man's errections sounds way more realistic then him trying to have sex with someone he is not attracted too

[Asker]

I don't know why he was with me for a year, got distracted by every woman walking past. It makes perfect sense. He just didn't want to be alone.

[boggboss]

Yet that point don't prove u are unattractive but was with a shitty guy

[boggboss]

Someone like that wouldn't have stayed with you if u looked different as he was only with u for his own wants

[boggboss]

And at the end of the day if you know for a fact its because u are unattractive then why even ask as nobody can fix that

[UniquelyBasic]

I dont think men stay hard throughout sex and it can get soft and hard multiple times. At least thats what I've read and heard.

[ThinkerShell]

Whatever tall of fat or big you are there are men loving such a woman so stop saying those things about yourself
I used to be an athlete I won medals 13 times and everyone were expecting a fit sport woman as the wife Ill choose but my wife is 155cm though 92km! And is the most lovely thing in the world for me
Let me add how bad I feel each time she complains her face or body... That's really really awful
You still thing you need to stay dissapointed? DM me I'd have so much to tell someone like you

[shanshu]

You might not believe it but guys do get nervous and when we are we can't get hard, if a guy is confident and knows he's gonna get sex he will get hard even if she's prob unattractive.

Women think it's because of them that a guy can't get hard during the sexual activity but in actual face it's the guys nerves that get the better of him.

Believe me it's happened to me more than one occasion.

DM me if you want to chat

[bananathunder]

I'm sure there is someone out there for you. Guys like all shapes and sizes of girls. What types of guys are you going after?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like something needs to change. Either your mindset or your body. Both are possible. It doesn't sound like you've found your position of power yet though.