Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health When I have sex with my girlfriend, I feel like I am having sex with all the guys she had sex with in the past.
- all diseases of other guys
-all saliva of other guys
-all hormones of other guys.
She told me she had 3 guys in her life and I am her 4th, but I know women tend to hide their past partners.
I don't know what to do, I don't enjoy sex with her anymore, and I can't even tell her that I'm losing interest in her because of her past.
Also, I'm slowly losing respect for her too.
I can no longer continue this, i just can't get over her past.
I can't get over her past, is it time to break up?
Anonymous
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What Girls & Guys Said
84 104This is definitely a problem within yourself and not with her. Maybe seek some counseling or some other way of understanding why you feel so strongly. We tend to portray onto others based on our past experiences. Our actions, thoughts, feelings all have a reason behind them. If you cannot get past this, I would break it off. Not just for you, but for her. She deserves to be with someone who accepts her. Your thoughts will affect the relationship as a whole. No need to drag it out if you don't want to do anything about it.
I think if you can't get over it, end it.
However, you are being childish and self centred. Understand that most people have a sexual history. Either you learn to get over it and develop a healthier mindset, or accept that you may not be able to maintain a healthy, mature relationship with anyone.
Break up with her, but for her sake. You have some major insecurity issues that you need to work on. You can't bring that sort of negativity into a relationship and project it onto your partner.
If you think of your girlfriend like you wrote then break up with her. Look for a girl whose background is more to your liking and hope that this girl doesn’t mind your background.
OR
Rethink the whole thing and realize that your girlfriend wants to be with you. To her those other guys were losers and are out of her life and mind and she is devoted to you and you alone. That is as good as it ever gets.
Unless your girlfriend actually has STD's then you're not exactly contracting other dude's diseases man. I think you're being a bit melodramatic. Also, if this was an issue for you in the first place, you shouldn't have gotten with her. If it's such a big issue just leave, clearly she doesn't have a hard time finding guys so she'll move on and so will you.
Do her a faver and end it. Oh and tell her why.
A person's past isn't relevant.
You are the perfect example of not telling about sexual past. You can not handle it.
Dude, you're wimping out on her. How many people have you fucked before her?
Not handling it? Some men dont want a used up whore as a girlfriend
@yourmad101338 Yet another perfect example. Thank you
Tell her you need time to get over your insecurity, then do that before dating the next girl.
Break up with her and find yourself a girl with no past. It's not fair for either of you to continue this relationship.
He does have a past now. With the one he's with now. If he does breakup with the current one just to look for another without a past, he'll be a hypocrite.
@1SkraaBoi Indeed. He should have been with a virgin if he couldn't date a non-virgin. I still think that relationship won't work if he keeps up with that.
I'm right there with you. He should just suck it up and stop whining. He didn't mention her abusing him in any way at all. From what I read, they seem to be cool with each other, but all of a sudden, now her past life is bothering him? I feel sorry for his girlfriend. She can't even get a break. Now she'll potentially have to go on to the 5th guy if he doesn't mature and act his age. If anyone is going to end the relationship, it's him, not the girlfriend. I feel like she's just tired of having her heart broken and looking for another guy. But if you ask me, she should be careful who she dates next time and she should make sure the guy doesn't care about her past life, especially if she wants to be with a virgin. However, after this, she'll probably be traumatized of virgins for a while 😆. But in all honesty, best of luck to her... and OP, if you're reading this...
Get your act together. I mean you're almost 30 years of age. She clearly loves you enough to tell you about her multiple partners, yet you still have sex with her. Why? Because if you really didn't love her, you would tell her straight up how you actually feel. However, if you keep up your childish acts, just breakup with her... oh, but make sure you don't go ruining some random poor virgin's soul for your selfish wants.
Well since you now have a past and have slept with her once you break up and find a girl with no past what if she thinks about the girl you slept with and all the diseases you have fucked. I guess she should no longer respect you as well. Every person who has dated has a past and most are sexual. If you cannot fathom that and can't get past that then you need to stay single and get out of the dating scene.
Break up with her and let her find someone who actually cares about her. You are self-absorbed. This is your ego talking. You don't love her. Move on and grow up
How many girls have you dated? Unless you were a virgin, you're a hypocrite. And even if you were, you still are because it's not like you had a wait until marriage vow or anything. They were all probably equally if not more valid relationships that just weren't meant to be. My boyfriend is 25, and I'm his 4th. 4 year relationship in high school. One year relationship in college. 4 year relationship in college and after. You can hardly call those hook ups or anything to be ashamed of. And he was my first.
Man you have to quit thinking like that. First of all anyone's past is none of your business and besides that bro if you felt she was dirty like that why did you get together with her? God we would almost all be considered dirty sluts if you based it off of old boyfriend's or old girlfriends. Don't get caught up in judging man cause we all have our faults.
great commentary except the last part where you infer her past is a “fault”.
Dude, 4 partners overall is a fair bit below average. Average is about 7 partners. Think about the next guy she is going to be with if you break up with her. Do you think he is going to care about how many partners she had?
Ask yourself, does she love you? Does she go out of her way to make you feel special to her? Does she treat you well in the bedroom and do the things you like?
The vagina is a self-cleaning organ, and I'm sure the hang-ups you have listed are all mental. Now think about other guys with other women... do you think they have these same mental issues around their woman's sexuality?
The bottom line is this, if you love your woman and she loves you, there should be no reason to feel this way. What if you were her last partner for the rest of her life and she wanted everything to be special with just you? What if you could get over your hangups and give her the best possible pleasure in the bedroom and all those other guys would be but a distant memory (which they more than likely already are).
How many women have you slept with? I am assuming you were a virigin before you met her, or otherwise, you are being a hypocrite. Now think about how hard it will be to find another woman with that few sex partners. Don't shoot yourself in the foot over a woman's sexual past.
Handle your shit, get your mind right, count your blessings, and stop taking people for granted, especially your companion and lover.
Spare her your idiocy and break up with her. You'd be doing her a favor.
I would you would date a 32 year old virgin guy...
Break up with her. She deserves better.
If it bothers you yes cause you will never get over it
Grow up.
You sound like one of those pathetic losers who tries to buy a wife from Thailand or chase inappropriately young girls, because grown up Western women are all too "promiscuous" for you (3 partners is not promiscuous by the way - that's basically one guy every 3 years!)
Well it appears you are just beyond the point of no return and if things continue to head this way it could lead to a clingy end, but i will ask you. Were any of the afforementioned men muscle studs with six packs abs and bulging muscles? If yes, then i would react the same way as you, specially if all of them had been this way or mostly of them, because i honestly won´t belive that i could give her more and better than these man, but, if they were not like muscle studs with abs and bulging muscles, well, i wouldn´t worry very much about them specially if you know she had been having intense orgasms with you.
If it's as much of a big deal for you then you should break up with her... However I find it a bit weird how guys are bothered but this when they've had sex with a lot more partners then she has. I don't think the past of a person matters as she's the person you got to know today. But you can't continue a relationship with something that irks you. So do yourself and her the favour to find someone more suitable.
3 is not a high number but no one can date a bitch
@BMW12 I don't judge you for it, as it's your decision and you need to be comfortable in your own relationship. However I think anyone is free to live out their sexuality however they want to and I don't think having had sex with three people makes her a bitch. If it bothers you, dump her, move on and give her the chance to find someone who values her as she is.
Dude. This is a mental block that YOU need to work on. You absolutely will not lock down a bunch of virgins each time you date. Dig deeper. Why do you feel that way? Why does that make you value her less? Why does it make you think you should end the relationship? Just dig. I bet it is jealousy, which there is absolutely nothing wrong with. I'm a strong believer in ownership of feelings. She doesn't make you feel bad about her past. Your reaction to it, and how you internalize it is something you can control. Good luck man!