Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health I don't give bj's. Never have. Never will.
I Don't expect oral in return of course, and have refused the gesture from earlier boyfriends.
The boyfriends I've had all say that they are okay with this in the beginning, thinking they can persuade me into it later. When they fail to do so, they sour and act as if I have done something wrong. I broke up with my last boyfriend due to him not respecting that this is something I'm unwilling to do.
Is this a dealbreaker for a lot of men out there? Why? isn't it enough that you get to be with a girl you care about?
I don't give bj's - is that a dealbreaker?
MsSunGifu Xper 2
Updates:
+1 y
We've had a breakthrough: Do you think that a girl who does not want to do bjs isn't attracted to you? Is this why its so sensitive if a girl says no to this specific sexual act?
+1 y
The main question I get is why i do not want to perform BJ's. The reason is simply that it does not turn me on/come off as romantic, nor do I find it morally right (someone pointed out this might be a reason, and to be on my knees is something im definitely against). Not trying to deprieve men from any kind of pleasure, just respecting and being true to my own sexuality. by the way, I'm Swedish, so if my Language is weird I apologise!
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What Girls & Guys Said
15 97I am just curious... do you think it's gross or something? I know I'm that way with anal... I won't do it.
Yes, its a bit gross and unnatural to me. Just not something i find to be a turn on.
Yup that's a dealbreaker for a lot of people
Starting to realise it. Thanks for the reply.
Nope, I wouldn't want one... not at all into that :o
you are a rare and apreciated breed. Thanks for replying.
Just give me a nice warm hug, a kiss, good moment together and eventually the regular sex... I know not all guys and girls would agree with that.
If you are being honest, then
... I'm with you. Thanks for the reply:-)
You're welcome. And don't worry... I've been on here for 3 years now and I'm 100% honest. Playing games with people is not my thing. If it's confidential I'll explain you it is. Else, I'll be open and speak out :D
Thanks, nice to hear! :)
You sound boring as fuck. I'll eat my girls ass and pussy. Stop being such a little prude princess and get a little dirty. That's strange as fuck that you won't suck a dick. Even more strange that you broke up because of it. I would of convinced you into bondage play.. and then well.. yeah.
you are obnoxious.
@AriadneSky 😘😘
I think Your steroids have gotten to your head, this is not an ok post.
Oh I was fucked head in head long before the steroids hun.
Haha, nice to know 😂🙈
👅💦😉
Yes, deal breaker
but I believe you'll change your mind with enthusiasm one day when The One appears like no other guy, even in your dreams - you'll WANT TO without being asked.
Most guys get romantic & finally share their feelings with a little help from their self-centered little heads. SO it follows that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the way to his lust through worship of his little head. Many ways to worship, usually beginning with a) dropping your top - visual, b) massaging it - tactile c) remainder goes w/o saying
I dont know if i understand what point you were trying to make. But Thanks for your reply.
From another point of view... ALL the gals that wanted sex with me in past got big-Os from giving BJs and I don;t know why...
I see. Good for them.
Goooodbyeeeee
It would absolutely be a deal breaker. Receiving oral sex is one of the most pleasurable thing. Is penis something to be grossed about? Is it because this is where we urinate? We can simply clean it. Do you kiss? Because our mouth is gross, we stuff all kind of foods in out mouth. Have you ever seen someone doing blowjob? If you at least try it, you mind might change.
No, it isn't something to be grossed about, but I must be allowed to voice my opinion, which is that I do not fancy doing this. (I would never say to a man that I didn't like his equipment) If a man said to me there were things he wasn't comfortable doing in bed, I would never pressure him! That is also what is getting to me here.
And thanks for replying.
I mean yeah, I love blowjobs and I've never met a girl who didn't like giving them tbh so I think it would be better for both of us to find a relationship where both people are completely satisfied.
We all have our priorities and we would certainly be best apart.
I wasn't talking about us two personally lmao. Just a situation where I was dating a girl and found out she doesn't give blowjobs.
I see. Sry for misunderstanding.
Yes it is and odds are you will get cheated on sooner or later (if you don't dump him before that) by every guy you will ever date, probably with a girl that DOES give BJ's (even bad ones are better than none at all). Simply put orgasms from a good BJ is 10x more intense than from regular sex. That's probably the main reason, other than breaking up the monotony of just missionary all the time. I hope you at least tell guys your anti-BJ stance on the first date so they at least don't waste much time.
Pretty sure I'm not alone in this but what good is a pretty face if I can't fuck it?
I figured I was going to get downed for that, oh well. Guess the truth sucks and can't handle it, eh?
thanks for the input. First date though?
Sometimes the topic will come up, though that's kinda early for some.
I see
If I came across a girl that doesn't do something sexually I'd rather it be anal. Never was a huge fan of that (even though I once came in her ass) unless she requests it, so if that was missing it wouldn't matter much.
Yes, it can be a deal breaker for some guys. My SO has a chronic dry cough and a sensitive gag reflex and is reluctant to do it. So she introduced something else: A hand job with anal (prostate) fingering, leading to magnificent orgasms. Since she started doing this, I don't care if I ever get oral again.
I see. I think this is the right way to go about it. You compromised and found a solution, and that is all I'm truly looking for. Thanks for your reply.
To the update. There are some things you do and enjoy and there may be things you just to to please your partner. Withholding things can have good reasons as my SO does, which is why we worked out an alternative. But just being unwlling can feel like rationing in a relationship, causing a partner to be skeptical of the other's commitment and sensing the possibility of rationing in non-sexual areas as well... poison to a relationship. So i feel it is the duty of a partner declining something to lead in working out a satisfactory alternative rather than a summary no.
What do mean by rationing?
Holding back either for control or lack of full commitment.
I see. No, certainly nothing like that behind it. I've cared a lot and wanted to be committed to the guys I've been with.
I understand where you coming from... sucking dick isn't for everyone 😱 Especially if their mouths are too small for big dicks to go through.
Thanks for the reply. And understanding - not a lot of it:-p
I mean, if the question is if it's a deal breaker for most guys... I would say YEAH probably, unfortunately perhaps...
As far as for me however, it's ok. Sexual pleasure is one thing, but if you love someone you can look past a blowjob, or you should if you ask me. It's not like you will not sleep with someone. As a singular individual male voice I will say it's not a dealbreaker for me.
P. S There are a lot of other sexy stuff you can do besides B. J lmao.
Plus if you're a Swedish girl you're half excused as far as I'm concerned lol
I'm more interested in giving oral rather than receiving, but I don't know if I would be ok with never getting one.
I see.
Its a deal breaker for a good percentage of men. I'd guesstimate around 20%.
Regarding your, "We've had a breakthrough: Do you think that a girl who does not want to do bjs isn't attracted to you?" Statement, I think you're*close* I love eating the V. I cannot imagine having a relationship with a woman who didn't love being eaten or who wouldn't allow me to taste her. My ex was philosophically opposed to using sex as a bargaining chip. When she decided to break up with me, she still had sex with me, but wouldn't let me eat her. We broke up a month later. Why do I mention this? Tbh, I think that guys who think women taste bad are "on the coninuum" sliding towards gayness. Ditto for women who won't give head.
I see. Thanks for the input.
by the way, that is not a criticism of such men or women. Just my opinon of what's going on. Since I like very femine women...
I understand. Thanks for sharing.
yeah that would be a deal breaker.
No it's not because I would think she isn't attracted to me. It's incompatibility is all it is. I don't even care that much about BJ's but I do want them and never getting them would be a MAJOR let down. For me I need a partner who would be willing on occasion to do things for me that they them selves may not like very much, just as I would be 100% happy to do things for them that I may not like. For me a large part of the pleasure comes from pleasing my partner and if my partner doesn't feel the same way i would rather be single. I would of course be open to all kinds of communication on the subject to find something that would work for us but if it was simply, "BJ's are not going to happen" then it's time to dump her.
I See. Thanks for the input.
You not giving blowjobs would not be a deal breaker for me.
"I Don't expect oral in return of course, and have refused the gesture from earlier boyfriends"
But, this certainly would be.
so long as the sex is good and she isn't a complete prude where foreplay is concerned, then a no oral rule wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
Nice to hear. Thanks for your reply.
Never say Never. its not a deal breaker but its pretty close. Not all guys like BJs and the cliche is that "there is no such thing as bad oral sex" just isn't true. Bad oral sex is bad.
I see. Thanks for replying. Is there anything a girl to do to compensate for not giving BJs? Is there an arrangement you would be ok With?
*could
Do what you like. For me, If i know a girl doesn't enjoy something (i. e. BJs) then i dont want her to do it. A great BJ is dont by a girl that loves doing it and can orgasm herself from giving one... Do what you enjoy, what excites you... he will have fun
Guys like getting head, it gives us satisfaction plus it also gives us a reason to return the favor. It's only polite to do so. But from what I've heard some girls don't do it because they don't like the taste or feel but that's understandable but to not even do it once is hurtful. And to get to the point about being with a girl we care about sure it's great but sex is just a bonus that comes with her.
Thanks for your input.
Not a dealbreaker for me. There's really no single thing I can't do without, as long as other things are there pretty frequently. For me, a dealbreaker would be something like "nothing sexual more often than twice a month or so". Then I'm out. But no BJs are fine as long as you're willing to use your hands, or have sex, a few times a week at least.
Yes, there are ofcourse other things im willing to do, and when it comes to where or when or how often im just like everybody else. This is why I do not understand the importance of oralsex - there is a lot of other things to do even if im not willing to do this one thing. Thanks for your reply.
Yes, it is.
By saying you don't give blowjobs you are indirectly saying three things:
1. "I don't like your taste".
2. "I feel disgusted by your genital area"
3. "I don't want to give you pleasure.
Considering your update - do you enjoy a guy going down on you?
if you read my post again, you will have Your answer to Your follow up question:-) As i've said, my intent is not to state the Things you've mentioned here. I've always made sure that previous bfs have known that.
I didn't say if you let a guy oral on you, but if you enjoy it. Those are two different things.
Never tried so wouldn't know, and not planning on giving any guy the amunition you are trying to get from me now.
Nothing to do with ammunition. I wouldn't have to get any, if I wanted to fire at you. It's about understanding where you come from and why. Because the foundation of oral-sex is to give without expecting a return. It's purely meant to give someone (one cares for) pleasure. And the only pleasure one receives is the one knowing to give pleasure. So thus I explained why guys can find the lack of oral sex a dealbreaker and tried to understand why you dislike it. Considering you instantly felt under attack and having to defend yourself - "not planning on giving any guy the ammuniation" - I will assume a major issue you have are commitment and trust issues.
Yes, i ofc do. I said I never have given bjs and never will - that will mot change. You are the one telling me I have trust issues etc because of it, reading way to much into it. Some guy on here even called me brainwashed. It is of no relevance to the question I was asking. Why is it som important to a lot of guys that I give bjs, when I practically will do everything else? I even wore a strap on for a boyfriend, placed toys in his ass, invested in quite fancy underwear costumes etc. If you really are trying to sell me the idea that bjs are the greatest symbol of trust and commitment: i'm Sorry, not buying that.
"It is of no relevance to the question I was asking." I answered that right in my initial post. You either deal with it or you don't. "You are the one telling me I have trust issues etc because of it" I am not saying you might have trust issues BECAUSE of it - but that the way you react on people and behave in this thread hints to you having those. Reading between the lines. Additionally I said "I assume". Assuming =/= 100% accurate. So stop being so easily offended over nothing and start reading what I actually said.