Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health My older brother is a Maths teacher and has been working at the same school for about three years. We still live with our parents.
Two days ago, I was using his mobile to google something and decided to message his friends via whatsapp, just as a prank. Turned out that one of his contacts is a teenage girl with whom he's apparently been having sex for over a year, given their messages. There are several nudes from that girl in his phone as well as dick pics (wish I could unsee those, btw) he sent her and plans for their next dates. I know for sure that she is one of his students; I checked the girl's fb and saw some recent pictures of my brother in class with her and other students.
I know that what he's doing is wrong on so many levels, but at the same time I don't want to make him lose his job or have him hating on me for making this public. So what should I do? Should I call my brother out on that and hope he'll be smart enough to finish whatever is going on between him and his student or should I contact the school and let them be aware of this situation?
I'm leaning toward contacting the school because by doing so I can avoid the awkward confrontation that will surely come up if I let him know that I find out about his fucked up shenanigans with her.
I found out that my brother is banging one of his teenage students. What should I do?
Anonymous
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What Girls & Guys Said
18 29If it were me I would talk to my brother first because while it will be awkward, in the long run it will cause less drama then if you report him and he finds out you reported him.
Report him, when shit like that happens, he's gotta pay the piper
The more I think about, the more it seems to be a hell of dumb thing for me to do.
Blood or mud, what he is doing is an act of rape upon a teenage girl. You must report him.
According to our laws, it's not an act of rape.
Where are you from?
How is it rape if it is legal and consensual? you are clearly prejudiced and biased.
@Holygirl01 Because its' not legal... In MOST places, even if the age of consent is 14 in asker's country. It's almost always still illegal for someone in a position of power/guardianship to have sex with that person. it is (most probably) still a crime for him to be having sex with his student. And would be seen as such.
@bbch25 I think he didn't mean that.
@Holygirl01 It is indeed true as well. There are often laws that forbid sex between teacher and student even if the student is of age.
Stop lying, you would defend a woman being in the scenario just because you would have enjoyed it at that time, when girls enjoy having sex with older men as well. I know what your point is.
@Holygirl01 So you call him a liar when you don't even know what he'd actually do in the opposite.
@bbch25 I KNOW HIS VIEWS on this topic. I had a conversation with him about this.
@Holygirl01 I have been exposed!!!
I find men like you totally deluded and ignorant, how can you generalize people so much based on gender? overwhelming.
Why is that so bad? Age gap?
That and the fact that he's her teacher. I don't know if it's illegal for teachers to have this sorta relationship with their students, regardless of age of consent.
It probably is, are you comfortable sending him to prison, having to register as a sex offender for life and losing his job?
@SuccessfulHornDog not entirely.
Talk to him about it. Express your concerns.
Would that be enough?
I suppose that depends on your brother.
Everyone here saying to report him, whether or not it's consensual, legal or not is completely off their rocker. It's family, unless you're dealing with a family member murdering someone or dealing with something else extremely dangerous. Leave it be, first off, that was an invasion of privacy, which in itself is a crime. Besides, most of these cases aren't what they're made out to be, they're usually not a case of coercion and we need to move out of the middle ages and into the 21st Century, times change, morals change... get used to it.
Wait... invasion of privacy? He knew I was using his mobile; it's not my fault he keeps nudes from his underaged student in his phone.
"Move out of the middle ages"? Dude, that's when it was okay to sleep with little kids. You're not making since. It's only recently that we've been deciding that it's messed up for someone to take advantage of a child.
@WhaChaChaKing Odd, I've seen it said that she's of age of consent... therefore he's not taking advantage of her in my book. I'm highly progressive when it comes to humanity and how we should be living, we left Europe way back when because of oppression, yet this country has gone backwards lately and not continued to move forward. As for the invasion of privacy... whether or not he knew you were using his mobile, it's still an invasion of privacy unless the images happened to be used as screen savers or background images... reading someone else's texts and checking their photos is not why you had the phone, but no, you decided to be nosy and look anyways.
You're seriously more bothered by me having looked his messages than by him fucking a person he should not be even touching?
Age of consent is different in all places so saying it's okay just because of that is a bit silly. Anything under 18 is too young in my book, especially if they're in a position of power.
@WhaChaChaKing True. Even if she consented, his position of power over her makes any "consent" sketchy at best. Most teaching institutions forbid sex between teacher and student. Likewise sex is forbidden between doctor and patient, boss and employee etc.
@WhaChaChaKing That whole position of power crap is nothing but bullshit if it's between consenting adults, or even if it's between consenting individuals... unless, and in the following case it would no longer be consensual, the premise behind them having sex is her getting good grades in his class, but that's another matter all together. I'm just tired of American living in the 1950's, it's time people get enlightened, we're already almost to 2017, time to grow and expand our horizons, move into the future... not hold back evolution, which isn't just about physical characteristics but also mentally.
tell your brother that you know about this, and if he still does that after that, then tell this to your parents
Told him already. Seems that he won't stop seeing the girl. And telling our parents might be my next step...
then tell your parents asap
First you should hand him you phone so he can go through it and find out your secrets. Then get together and talk about what you both found out
Meh other than some dick pics he won't really find anything interesting in my mobile.
Nooooo keep it between you and your brother
You really want to risk the chance of your brother in jail for doing something both of them wanted lolzzz
Talk to him. And even if you do report his behavior you should tell him first.
Why should I tell him first?
He's your brother. You can't just do that to him without even a heads up.
Why do you need to mess with his business. What a brother you are!!!
*sigh* useless answer
I hate people like you familiy traitor.
Okay.
So many people mentioned this but this could be a potential crime. Don't commit crimes if you don't want to get in trouble. Personal responsibility.
@SovereignessofVamps if she never had used the phone she never knew it. Its none of her business anyway.
So if a teacher did this to a child in your family you'd feel fine?
@SovereignessofVamps i dont feel like debating internet people now.
So why can it be OK for family to use other people but not vice versa? That's crazy. Like I said personal responsibility.
@SovereignessofVamps what part didn't you understand about me not wanting to talk to you?
Because... if you really believed what you said we'd be arguing. So all of these people on here saying the same thing... wtf. Like what did you people do yourselves that makes you say something so ridiculous? I thought innocent people were on here. I'm not talking about messing with kids but just like wth did you people do in your lives?
talk to him... his rep is on the line.
I know. How should I approach the problem?
next time you two are alone... didn't mean to make that sound sick... sorry.
you both are adult, and you seen his mobile, seen him fucking, seen his dick? LOL be like an adult it normal to fuck in this age, everyone fucks, he is man and he needs too, grow up and let him fuck. be a smart sister and understand sexual need.
Well, he's fucking a teenage girl who's also one of his students. That's fucking disgusting.
for you, actually its not a big deal as long as he is not doing it forcefully.
Call 911 on his ass! That is gross man! And she is just a kid!
Like I said, I don't want to fuck up his life...
Well breaking news! He is fucking up a innocent little girls life! She is a kid and he should know better. Gross ass.
Well, to be fair she's not a little girl.
SHE IS A FUCKING TEENAGER! and comparing to your disgusting brother she is a baby! Are you actually trying to justify this lunatic?
I'm not trying to justify his actions. I just don't want to do anything that might screw his job
Woooooow... So his job is more important than a teenagers innocence? You are just as bad as he is. But justice will be served. Any adult with an actual mind would have called the police or done something about it. There is a God, remember that. You are an accomplice.
Her innocence is long gone, it seems. And no way I'm as bad as he. Only recently have I found out about this crap, I literally have nothing to do with it.
Yeah and what have you done to stop it? NOTHING! And who took her innocence? Your nonsensical brother! You are just as bad as he is because you are not doing anything about it. You are just trying to justify him! You my friend are an accomplice, you could have put a stop to it right away but you chose not to and to just go with the flow! Accomplice!
This stuff about her innocence is total bs. We don't know what the girl is up to. Maybe she's giving head to all her teacher just to get a better score.
Woooooooow... smfh.. Well it's obviously useless trying to get you to do the right thing. Than explain to me why the fuck is your brother fucking a minor? Well you were both born evil I guess. Y'all will see eachother in hell I guess.
Fuck, I don't know why he's fucking a minor. Maybe she offered to give him head in exchange for a better score and ended up liking his dick, could be anything ffs.
And if so why would he agree to it if he knew it was wrong? Quick trying to justify his lame ass. But obviously poor mentality must run in your family.
Because he likes doing wrong things, apparently.
And so do you because you aren't reporting his nasty ass.
I just haven't made up my mind yet.
What is there to make up? Goodness! REOIRT HIS NASTY ASS! THAT SHIT IS ILLEGAL AND JUST WRONG! WHAT LANGUAGE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY IT IN?
It's not really illegal, she's above the age of consent.
Bit he is her TEACHER! She is the STUDENT! gosh you are so fucking dumb!
I'm not dumb, I simply don't wanna do anything that might bring consequences to me as well.
Well than why fucking wait in the first place? Why ask for advice if you are going to disagree and argue with everything everyone says? Your pathetic.
Woah there's no need to be so bloody rude, dammit.
You are just useless lol. Bye.
So are you.
Lol at least I know how to make smart decisions😂😂
That is European culture for you.
Wtf?
Seriously? He's your brother. Are you going to report him and ruin his life based on an assumption without even speaking to him first? Wow. Why, because he broke a rule? God forbid it was something worse. How would you feel if you made a mistake and your own family betrayed you and turned their back on you? You don't deserve a family, so go ahead and ruin it.
Woah that's harsh and mean.
Shhhhhhhhh let him enjoy life baby! You have seen nothing, he is adult and is taking the risk himself. Maybe that hot teen pussy is worth the risk. YOu shouldn't betray your brother and report to the school, let him do whatever he wants. Be a good sister, I have faith in you
Meh I'm not too sure that not doing something to protect an underage girl just so I won't make my brother lose his job falls under the 'being a good sister' definition.
Your brother isn't raping or doing any bad thing to the girl. Keep in mind that in many countries 16 is age of consent (many countries in Europe) which means that if the girl wants to have sex she can with anyone at any age. If you see that your brother abuses the girl, threatens her or whatever then you must! protect the girl. What you wrote here is consensual sex. You shouldn't destroy your brother life by reporting him. Go talk to him then if you don't want to just stay without doing anything, but don't report him. Give him another chance
Oftentimes (may not apply in some countries), age of consent is 16, but it's still illegal to sleep with a parent/guardian figure. E. g. Coaches, Teachers, Parents etc... So yes, he probably very well is committing statutory rape.
@bbch25 Ok but he is not abusing or damaging the girl like his sister above is commenting. I would be the first to denounce him if he would do such a thing. It is very hard for a guy to leave a relation which consist of consensual sex especially with a hot girl. I recommend her to tell him brother something like "I noticed while watching your phone that you are chatting with students, it is not a good idea if you get caught bla bla...". She doesn't have to tell him that she knows they have sex, just something like that he will get the idea.
But, in saying that, we really don't know if he isn't abusing or damaging her somehow... We really do not know what happened, the circumstances, when/how it truly even started... I'm not the person who jumps on teacher/student relations like some psycho's. I believe too that when someone is 17.5, how is that different from 18, and if the teacher is 21-22, they're quite young too etc. And sometimes the student is mature and can seduce the teacher etc. There's MANY things. BUT, if it started when she was underage, if he pressured her into starting with grades and promises, we don't know... And he could do it to someone else. Now, I'm speaking in possibilities, "could" "if", but so are you by saying "he may not be abusing her". But, so far, he is committing a crime, and that needs to drilled into his head.
@bbch25 You are right about the fact that if he is pressuring her about grades he should be punished, so you convinved me there is only one solution here. His sister need to tell him to forget about his student and break up any relation with her. But I have a friend of mine math teacher too 23 his student was 17 they ended up engaging lol so no one knows what relationship they have. Maybe they love each other (maybe I don't think so because if he loved her wouldn't send dick pictures). Anyway his siste should give him another chance not report him immediately, just warn him and tell him to stop and not repeat this thing with other students.
And I'm open for your friends relationship! I know it's a TV show, but I watch Pretty Little Liars, and the teacher is early 20s and she was only 16, but she lied, met him at a bar etc. So when they first started liking each other, he didn't know. He realises, knows he should cut it off but they're mature and like each other blah blah. And while I can see why people get upset about it at the same time... Some people are mature, some people do feel it. But I feel like if they truly feel the feelings, they should be able to wait... If she truly loved and wanted her brother, she should be able to wait until she's graduated because it could hurt her loved one... Apparently her brother told her to mind her own business. Perhaps asker could talk to her parents? I don't know.. I want it to end well. But if he is doing something BAD, it needs to be stopped.
@bbch25 Yeah right, I have the feeling that he wants her for sex only by reading again this question. Sending dick pictures and sex conversations only seems weird and bad, but maybe it is their kind of texting I don't know. Anyway hope the best is done for both of them. Again I repeat I am a very rightful person if he is pressuring that girl in any way he needs to be punished. That girl may have been my sister friend or whatever other person. I am in favor of love and true feelings only, manipulators, pressure and liers should be jailed and punished.
One thing you should know, is he will go to jail. You will lose your brother. Once he gets out, he won't want to talk to you ever again.
The second thing is that if he has already had sex with her and he breaks up with her, he is screwed, because she can still turn him in if she is mad.
Even if there hasn't been actual IRL sex between them, by him sending nudes to someone he knows is underage, he can go to jail for that too and there is digital proof.
Either way it is messed up, but if you tell on him, you'll lose him forever.
Also, he would lose his teaching license. If she isn't a little kid, it isn't morally wrong, just legally wrong.
After reading more posts, I saw that she is above the age of consent. He would still lose his job and his teaching license. Don't tell. They could actually have serious feelings for each other and you could be ruining a good caring relationship for them. Even teachers that had done that and went to jail still ended up marrying their student when they got out because they both really loved each other. Let them be. Maybe tell your brother to be more careful about hiding that information.
I have the impression that the girl is just an easy fuck for him...
Maybe she is maybe not. I wouldn't recommend trying to interfere though. It is probably best to not even say anything at all to him so he won't know you invaded his privacy.
Haha too late.
Tell the dean
So, what'd you wind up doing?