I get depressed and envious watching other non-pornstars have sex?

[Anonymous]

Even if slightly bigger than mine or equal size, I'm curious if I could move like them, but at the same time i get extremely sad and out of the mood because I always think of someone better in bed with my partner, I know we should swallow that pill but I can't, I just turned 19 and even before then I've basically molded my life around sex, sexual stamina, dirty talking, lasting longer, knowing exactly what a woman feels with what act or motion, I've gone through convincing myself that porn isn't legit sex and an unrealistic standard for most, but people still fantasize about it, and still want it, so I started watching amateur, still bigger than me, so basically i can't shake the thought, no one would value me or stay with me or fantasize about me because sex is too important, and its not that I want a partner that doesn't want sex, hell I want sex but I don't want it to be meaningless I don't want to become a joke, since this is anonymous sometimes I even cry at the thought of disappointing or getting cheated on or even when watching others have sex.

Another thing is my girlfriend brings up "How big my dick is." While sexting, Its not that big, under 5 inches so its pretty hurtful to know she's not fantasizing about me or basically wishing I had a bigger dick, but I can't fault her because there is a difference, and maybe its not that big of a deal but I will not be lied to... I know I don't sound like the most fun guy in the world but people always want more, no matter what you do, and I don't get to talk to anyone, because they'd use it against me, not be able to help, or misunderstand my issue

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter as much as you think. Your obsession with dick size has caused you to obsess over this too much, however you've also developed a long of wrong ideas about sex. Ideas that come from people who think they're amazing in bed, but really aren't.

Most people when they talk about sex focus so much on penetrative sex, and it's always about lasting longer, stamina, big dicks etc. I'm into BDSM, and I'm a dominant. BDSM sex, when done right, is 10x more pleasurable than normal sex. Normal sex is boring to me. Some would say that that's a bad thing, they come up with all kinds of negative things e. g. BDSM is for mentally ill people, it's something only freaks do. They're wrong.

My style of BDSM is known as "sensual domination". I'm not into anything too extreme, I simply mix bondage, light pain and soft verbal domination with pleasure, to bring my girl into what's known in the BDSM community as sub-space.

Sub-space is what is caused by this mixture of pleasure and pain. What I usually do is I tell her that she isn't allowed to cum without my permission, or else she'll be punished. She literally has to ask me to cum before I'll allow her to. I'll bring her to the edge of orgasm around 3-10 times before I even allow her to have one. Each time she asks and I deny her, I'll spank her, paddle her, crop her, maybe attach nipple clamps, to give her some pain.

What this pain does is it releases endorphins, as does the edging. It floods her body with them. Especially if combined with bondage. And with this high level of endorphins comes a high level of sensitivity and pleasure. Eventually she asks me to cum and I say "yes, cum for me" and she'll just have orgasm after orgasm as long as I make her. In fact I've used that so much that I can make her orgasm simply through saying that exact phrase. Then, once I think she's had enough, and she's completely spent, I fuck her roughly.

Most of the time, these sessions last 2 hours or more. About 15-20 minutes of it is actual sex. I can last longer during vanilla sex, but with this I'm already heavily aroused, and she's had so many orgasms she doesn't give a shit. I've had long vanilla sessions, where we had sex for a long time, it doesn't even compare.

The majority of women find it much easier to orgasm via clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. Some are completely unable to orgasm through penetrative sex. With that in mind, why would you be focused on penetrative sex and the size of your dick to please your woman? Compare the guy who brags about having penetrative sex for hours to me who only usually lasts about 15-20 minutes after giving her so many orgasms she's lost count? Those people and yourself focus on the wrong things.

Now maybe you're not into BDSM, maybe your girl isn't. I don't know. If you're both open to it, I'd definitely suggest that you read up on it (it has to be done safely) and trying it. But my point here is that you and most people are focused on the wrong thing when it comes to sex. If you can understand that you can have a leg up over guys with big dicks. In fact I've been with girls who said that the guys with the biggest dicks were often the worst in bed because they just thought having a big dick meant they didn't have to do anything, so they never even made her cum.

[Asker]

My life is essentially bdsm, however I have a big hang up about actually being into dominating people, I feel my size will only be funny, and i don't feel bdsm is anything someone else can't do with more experience (I don't mean to devalue you but I do devalue it when it comes to myself) One of the best thing I've done was I held one of the longer vibrators between my legs and used her cheeks to sandwich myself between them as the vibrator changed settings, stopped even and I dirty talked the shit out of her until she finished, she likes doing it in different positions but I know she likes it better when i take charge regardless of if everythings to her liking. I just personally never feel it's enough so I'm also heavy into post orgasm torture and I'm well versed in a majority of kinks and fetishes despite my age, I'm fighting myself about having a threesome where someone shows me up or she's left thinking about someone else, however I also relish the challenge, but once again don't and I don't trust people to understand that sometimes fantasy should stay fantasy, you've helped to push me more towards being comfortable with being into bdsm but still in both areas I deep down have no confidence in long term satisfaction no matter what I think of, even roleplay

[Opinion Owner]

You mention that it's not something other guys can't do... Most guys don't do it. Most guys aren't that good in bed, they don't learn anything. It gives you a huge advantage just habing the confidence to do that in the first place, and jts easy to learn. There are levels to it - get more skilled at it. Always be learning. Forget the threesome shit. That will only fuck you up.

[Asker]

Thanks man, I second guess myself a lot to try and be better but well I can't magically get better dna