I have struggle with putting my first 2 fingers in. Does this mean sex will be painful for me?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Your vagina is a tube with bands of muscles, and at the entrance of the tube, your hymen is a ring of skin that typically closes the hole down to a smaller hole.

Imagine taking a toilet paper tube and stretching a dental dam (or some other thin piece of rubber, such as a balloon) over one end to seal it off. Then, take a sharpened pencil and punch a hole in the rubber, right in the center. Liquids can easily escape through the smaller hole, but larger objects are partially obstructed by the rubber. If the object is small enough, the rubber will stretch, but a big enough object can be bigger than the rubber can stretch around, so the rubber will tear.

That's exactly what happens with a hymen - you can often get one finger inside you easily, because the hole in the hymen is big enough to admit a finger without having to stretch much - but something bigger is going to stretch it, and perhaps even tear it. And hymens are all different - some are barely there (the hymen barely restricts access to the entire vaginal hole) and others have just a tiny hole - and a few have none and require a doctor to make a hole. Some are thicker and stronger and harder to stretch, and some are thin and easily broken.

Penises are usually big enough to stretch or even tear the hymen, and while this can cause some pain - sometimes just some stinging and sometimes a lot of pain for a few days - a torn hymen isn't going to reform itself, so once it's torn, it's no longer likely to hurt ever again. BUT, some girls may have different parts tear during sex at different times, even after having sex a dozen or more times, so you could possibly have a few painful encounters - that's not very common but it's possible. At some point pretty early on, the hymen will have either stretched or torn enough that it's just not ever going to be an issue again.

Now, a few women suffer from vaginosis, which is where she can't relax her vagina muscles enough to let the guy penetrate her, so penetration is painful. That's a different thing, and isn't likely anything you need to worry about, but in the event that things continue to be painful after a bunch of times, that could be worth checking into. Again, it's not all that common, so you're unlikely to be affected.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

It does suggest that, yes. But there's a fairly easy solution... if you continue to stretch yourself , over time, using your fingers then you will it becomes easier to insert your two fingers. Similarly, it will be easier (less painful/not painful) to insert a penis whenever you end up having sex. 🙂

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I have had the same problem. Can’t even make myself to use a tampon.

And the first few times with my boyfriend were quite painful, I always stopped him, until I learned how to relax.

So if you try to relax it will get easier. Just relax. You’ll be surprised how easy everything will get.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not really. I had the most horrible pain when I put a tampon in for the first time. Once I got through that, I could put a finger in and then adding a second finger did hurt a bit but it wasn’t too bad at all. U just have to make sure you’re aroused and wet.

LikeALog · Answer

Most likely you weren't fully aroused. With foreplay your vagina will relax and sex won't be a problem.

summiter · Answer

Nope just use a lot of lube and take it slow

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

Take it slow and gently stretch yourself by pulling “upward” and holding it for a few seconds. Do this a few times over a few days, and it will greatly relieve the “first time” pain. More importantly, if you feel less worried about it you will be more relaxed—and that will help more.

…and be reassured that actual penises are not as large as those discussed on the internet.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

First time is usually uncomfortable but it gets easier.

DonkeyDan · Answer

Possibly yes, do you experience pain with just 2 fingers? You might have a psychosomatic condition called vaginitis, it is actually a psychological condition that manifests itself physically. There is therapy available to help with this, you should go and see your gynecologist.

leighbee · Answer

It is all different but please don't have sex if you're not ready yet

exitseven · Answer

Which orifice are we talking about here?

Reaper1985 · Answer

suggests you might have a shallow and/or narrow vaginal canal. so sex with a average or bigger size dick could be painful if you don't prepare for it ahead of time. hands and/or toys are a decent option to get yourself used to the size. but could try to find a guy who knows to take it slow with you at first and to make sure your wet enough or use lube.

annabananna · Answer

Sex was painful my first few times.

kellytheman · Answer

No but it will hurt at first and it usually does. Your still young though I think if you keep doing and explore more maybe enter another or something else it might actually help sometimes it's going to hurt before it feel better.

jasco · Answer

Your not lube enough

maximumpower · Answer

not neccessarily.  with proper lube and prep you can shove a telephone pole up an ant's ass.

Twalli · Answer

It's highly likely sex will. hurt, but not based on fitting fingers inside. A girl I know is too tight for tampons, but has had sex multiple times.

IsoUser · Answer

Your vagina is a essentially a tube so yes at first it will be painful as you break your hymen

lawhawk · Answer

Well maybe. But that really depends. Were you wet or are you just trying to shove fingers in dry? Its not going to feel good dry. Try some more warm up and try one, then two when you are good and ready.