Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health I hooked up with a guy and now a girl is slut-shaming me, what do I do?
Anonymous
Last week my friend Abbey invited me to see some local metal bands with her. I was excited to watch live music, after Covid. Abbey is friends with one of the bands, and some of their fans. This crowd are all metalhead guys and girls. I don't own any rock chick outfits, so I wore a black top, denim shorts, and heels. Abbey's friend Carly said I was "bold" to dress like that at a metal gig, which irritated me. The band were great, and Abbey introduced me to them and they seemed like really nice boys. We went to the drummers house for an afterparty, and on the walk there I talked to the bassist, Steve. Carly gave me evil looks. At the house we were in the living room doing shots, and I sat on Steve's lap. Other guys there started rating the girls on who had the best chests. Abbey, Carly and other girls went along with it, and actually took their tops and bras off. Carly sarcastically said to me, "are you not joining in?" which made me feel singled out. They stayed topless for the rest of the party, which obviously the guys liked. I kept my top on, but I felt isolated, cos if it hadn't been for Carly, I probably would have been OK to do it. After chatting to Steve for ages, we went to a bedroom. I told him I didn't want to have sex, because I don't do that outside a relationship, but I'd be happy to give a blowjob. I did it, we exchanged numbers, went back downstairs. When Carly left she yelled out that I was a slut. This made me feel shit about myself. Abbey said ignore her, and that Carly often gets jealous. Steve has invited me to the band's next gig and after-party this weekend, and I really want to go, but Carly will be there. To make it worse, she has texted Steve offering him a blowjob after the gig. I don’t want a confrontation with Carly but I think it would be a great night, and I would like to get to know Steve better. A couple of other friends have said they would come with me to support me, but I don't know if that would wind up Carly more. Should I go?
Updates:
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Update: so it’s 6:30am right now and I just got home from the after party. What a night! The gig was great, Steve was super attentive to talking to me. Carly was wearing the exact outfit I wore last week which made me chuckle. So much for the rock chick look haha. My friends came along too and they had a really great time. I did my thing for Steve and it was hot af, and a couple of my friends did the same for some of the guys in the band as well. Carly didn’t try a single thing to upset me!
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Urgh now Carly is on Facebook telling people I “stole” a guy she has liked for months ffs
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What Girls & Guys Said
26 20You should definitely go, who gives a fuck about that Carly bitch. Just live in the moment and don't think twice about what she says to you. And if she continues to be a bitch, confront her about it. Obviously she's very insecure.
I literally have no idea what happened to GaG people with this question. I was expecting them to slut shame you and call you a whore like they do on every other similar question. The misogynists men here surely didn't find this. Lucky you😂
Stop talking to her and cut her out of your life completely. Ignore her.
A good dose of shame is what this culture lacks. Look at the state of it! A friend of mine is currently repairing her whole life and most of her problems stemmed exactly from that behavior. But when she was your age, she thought she knew better. It took decades before it caught up with her.
You are simply not designed for this behavior, but the culture makes you think otherwise. Even if your friend is jealous, that does not mean she is wrong. Although I do not agree with name calling, and I do not condone her labels... your behavior will not bring you anything of value. it does not serve you and deep down, you know you are better.