I'm always thinking about a guy I used to have sex with while I'm having sex with my boyfriend. Do you think that's wrong?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

LOL yes , that is just wrong in so many levels , but don’t feel bad , most girls hold onto their exes like they were these prized possessions, but to be honest that should be your answer not to have sex with these guys if you are still fantasizing about your ex , you aren’t being fulfilled , you need to find someone that makes you not fantasize about your ex , once you find that guy , try to keep him , also put that guy your having sex with in your shoes , how would you feel if he was picturing you being another girl? So you’re best to not sleep with these guys anymore and misleading them and toying with their hearts for your selfish pleasures, move on and find someone that fulfills you and makes you not think about your ex , an ex is an ex for a reason , meaning if they really loved and cared about you they wouldn’t be your ex period.

ChurchOfSteel · Accepted Answer

I think it means you're missing something with your boyfriend. I'd talk to him. If you aren't pleased enough, there may be something he can do. Only if you tell him.

I also think women have an innate separation between men they love to fuck, and men they want to be with in a relationship. They are somewhat mutually exclusive. The raw, animalistic, dominating men tend to be less reliable; and, the reliable men tend to be less animalistic, raw, and dominating.

Of course, everyone is different.

I'd say it's time to have a talk with your boyfriend.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's necessarily wrong, unless you're actively indulging this behaviour. If it's involuntary, that's more a sign I think that there's some sort of processing you still need to do about that other guy.

Do your work on processing it and be fully present with your boyfriend. That's why you're together, isn't it? To fully enjoy each other's company?

Kimgary · Accepted Answer

That’s very wrong, I think it’s better to just go to the guy than disrespecting your boyfriend. It’s obvious your mind is still with the guy and your boyfriend’a presence doesn’t seem to quench your thirst. You either do that or leave your man at least respect him

SuzuBrooke · Answer

It means you aren't over that person... Which isn't a healthy to a relationship. If your comparing that makes it worse. But it's true, nobody can stop our thoughts and feelings or so-called "desires". Just as long as you like your boyfriend and not the one you had before I think you'll be fine... Key word... Think. I don't know. And this is my opinion.

Also I don't know hardly any of the details just like the rest of the people here so don't take our word for it. Go with what you think based on certain events.

AustinMan · Answer

Why do you do that? Was the ex a better lover or what?

NamerOfStars · Answer

No, but it doesn't say anything good about the relationship. If there's something you want your boyfriend to do or do differently, tell him.

websterII · Answer

might not be.. might be.. where is your heart belong? if you could be in bed with anyone.. who would it be with? once you answer that you can prob figure out if it's right or wrong. if you thinking about something gets me the benefits.. i'm not sure i care what your thinking about. but again that all matters where your heart is. should you tell him? depends if it would hurt his self esteem.. cus if he can't love himself he can't love anyone. That would come back to bite you hard. if that guy is not a threat to your relationship.. then i dont see anything wrong or any need to volunteer info.

katiesmuff · Answer

I wouldn't think that to be anything unusual from the Anonymous 'TROLL world!

OlderAndWiser · Answer

That's okay if you don't mind him fantasizing about fucking his ex while he is inside you.

Flower7 · Answer

Yes, that is wrong and a sign that maybe you're not with the right person for you, if he's not able to hold your attention, even during sex.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

since your a whore anyway , why not get all your retarded men in bed with you and have a sex orgy anyway !

HeyMikeyLikesIt · Answer

It just means you got the wrong dick in ya

Jess1812 · Answer

Focus on the guy in front of you

TonyV · Answer

It's not ideal, but it's not cheating either soooo I don't know

BlueScorpio · Answer

Not good, not good. You're body is one place, but your heart is at another. I'm pretty sure most women would not like the idea of their man thinking of another woman during the do.

modelUN242 · Answer

This is not good, your boyfriend would feel hurt if he knew. Clear him from your mind and delete any trace of him from your phone and mind. Are you closing your eyes while you guys are doing it?

Dalisay · Answer

I used to do it all the time. Always felt guilty.

cntrytbm · Answer

I used to do that with my wife. Definitely wrong. It may be a good sign that your not in the right place with him or with yourself. It may be a conversation you need to have with him.

EmmaMary · Answer

That's definitely not a good start to forming a relationship.

AndyOh · Answer

A bit... I am surprised you have not blurted out his name as you were having a major orgasm.. "Oh god John, I am cumming... I mean Frank." Best to let the old guy go...

Mikelaughs · Answer

It's not something you can control. We cannot stop our thoughts, as well as desires. And, its very convenient that they have the same name!;) How long have you been together with the new guy?

pepperhicks · Answer

Once in awhile it is natural to think of a former partner when you are with your current partner. There are things in common between them that attract you. However, if you are "always" thinking about a past partner during sex, don't think of it as "wrong" as much as an opportunity to look at what the other guy was doing for you that this one is not.

RydiaMagnifique · Answer

I've done it. Not intentionally tho. My fiance was fingering me and massaging my breasts, and my old crush popped into my head as I was approaching orgasm. I caught myself and started focusing on the actual orgasm, instead.

SphynxUK · Answer

Yeah you are wrong.  Why are with him if your still hung up on this ex?

likelyOK · Answer

well u can't help it I guess

ChocoBrownieMonster · Answer

Id probably say youve got deep personal issues if you're thinking of someone else. I usually am very picky with partners so if one in particular is always on my mind i tend to reject them early on to avoid obsession.

wankiam · Answer

its not great for your new guy but as to whether its wrong or not is a matter for your own conscience. personally if it helps you get off i would be fine with it but if you also had romantic thoughts about your ex, i maybe woudnt be so happy

Ephemera1 · Answer

Yeah, that's so gross of you.

Miristheiss · Answer

Yes, that is what sleeping around does, it can ruin future relationships. Studies show the more a girl sleeps around the weaker her chances of being able to bond with one guy and stay loyal.

Jesslin412 · Answer

Yeah that’s not good.

NarutoUzumaki007 · Answer

It is okay bit don't tell him

prettyboyjones · Answer

Stop thinking about me already. Jeez  We been broke up for a long time. I know the sex was good, well at least i made it good but you dont have to go telling everybody..

sensible27 · Answer

I doubt to some extent how much you love him... or if you guys have a future together... tell him I guess... is this a troll post?

Agape93 · Answer

Nope

HawkPerception · Answer

I wouldn't say it's wrong per se, but it shows you liked the other guy more sexually. If I was the guy you're with and I knew that, I would feel inferior and not want to be with you anymore.

Prof_Don · Answer

That’s fine, just keep that to yourself

Bandit74 · Answer

It's unfortunate, but I think it's pretty common for girls to prefer sex with a prior partner or fuckbuddy over sex with their current partner.

sheikalana · Answer

It's okay as long as you don't mention his name accidentally while you're having sex with your boyfriend.

Alexandrubaschet08 · Answer

Yes, but unfortunately it is something you can't control, you have memories with that person, events that happened together, both good and bad.
It would be a shame to be forced to forget all those memories and then all those experiences were for nothing.
As a boy I am 100% aware that I am compared to former partners in a girl's life, that there are certain expectations on my part.
To be better than them in all areas so as to make the experiences of the girl's past seem as small as possible.
I don't expect a girl to forget, but I'd rather she didn't expect me to be a copy of her ex.

broken_heart_at_48 · Answer

If it's once in a while then no big deal but if it's all the time yes there's a problem because more than likely if you had a chance you'd have sex with the ex and you're not over the ex so you can't be totally in your new relationship

Sweetener_ · Answer

Yes!

dublin_sexyeyes0 · Answer

Im afraid yes id call it wrong in an overall way. you shud think about why you think of him. Could be an underlying issue

chriscdi · Answer

yes, sucks for him

Browneye57 · Answer

Tell us why you think it's not. Your head isn't where your heart is.

winterfox10 · Answer

If you are doing it at least as often as you think about your boyfriend, then yes; it is a problem.

Massageman · Answer

Over time, you might be able to separate the act from the guy. In the meantime, enjoy it, and do NOT use the old boyfriend's name!

SaraSmithishere · Answer

I'm sure a lot of women think about past partners.

_SOARER · Answer

RIP BRO :(  Its wrong :(

libraboy · Answer

It's alright. You can't control it. No one is 100% attached to someone in this world emotionally or physically

Konsemachine2 · Answer

Nope...

LenaRaye84 · Answer

No. But clearly you're not over your ex. You need to figure out what to do about that.

worldscolide · Answer

I dunno if its wrong but its hurtful. If i were in his shoes id feel like you're not attracted to me..

Desconhecida · Answer

Not wrong. But you're with the wrong guy

RHK36 · Answer

Yes, not sure why you're with that guy when you think of someone else during sex.

ButtaGrey · Answer

It's not good.

Unit1 · Answer

As long as you do not act out on these, you should be fine.

Thatsamazing · Answer

Makes you a slut I guess. You can decide for yourself whether you think that's wrong or not.

loveslongnails · Answer

It's certainly not healthy. If it keeps up, I will guarantee you won't be together very long.

DiegoO · Answer

Yeah, you never ended the chapter with your ex. Did he broke up with you?

stickytoes · Answer

Yes I think it’s wrong

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yet another reason why I only date virgins.

FriendlyEnigma · Answer

Well its not wrong cuz he prolly has some value to you that you can't shake. But thats really not fair to your boyfriend, im sure you care about him and all, but i feel like its better to find someone to fill that need rather than secretly think of another person