I might be going to the doctor to get birth control is there anything I should know about it? Also would they ask me if I’m a virgin to my mom?

[pink_and_inlove]

Or tell her that I’m not? I’m 19 and I’ve never taken birth control I begged my mom last night to please take me to the doctor so that I could get birth control because condoms are not enough ( I didn’t tell her that I lost my virginity) I told her how scared I was and stuff and she told me that she’ll think about it Today so it’s not certain if I’ll go to the doctor and get it but I want to know about it just in case. All I’ve used are condoms but I heard that they’re not safe enough so I want to do bc too

[Aliceinwonderland22]

Condoms are pretty safe if kept properly, and they are they are the most effective against STIs (the female condom is less effective and chemical contraceptives have no effect of getting STIs)...
Also know Birth Cortrol are not 100% either, so if you want to be safe it is better to use both.

As for whether they ask, well a doctor needs to know if you have already had sex so they can give you the options... I have been on the pill since 16/17 but not because I was having sex, but it was to regulate really bad period pains, but when I have represcribed I have had to tell them so we could discuss what other options could be better. After all, there are multiple types and they need to consider which is safest and best for you.

Sorry if it comes across rude though, you are 19 so why do you have to go with your mum to the doctors? You are legally an adult right, can't you just go on your own?

[JHwong]

The doctor will discuss birth control options with you, and by discuss I mean talk about the type of birth control you want, prevention rates, possible side effects, etc. Make sure to take your healthcare provider card and ID. Your mom is not supposed to know what you privately discuss with your doctor because you are an adult. You can tell your mom that this is a private matter you want to discuss alone with your doctor if your hospital/clinic allows parents to enter along with children. Good luck! (^-^)👍

[sammy1537]

The question of virginity is never asked. They can see if hymen is intact. The will ask if you are sexually active though. The must ask it so they can give you a consultation about STDs and practicing safe sex. It's required that they talk to you about dangers of std if you plan to go "condomless".

[Sevenpointfive]

i talk with my sister 400 miles away about this "couple" that live on the streets near her. a black man in a wheelchair and a white woman with 2 teeth left. yes, they do drugs, but she got pregnant and refused the free birth control

you choose your destiny

[pink_and_inlove]

I use condoms and I don’t refuse birth control I’m trying to get it right now

[AustinMan]

If you go on BC, you can give up condoms with guys who've been tested. As for your mom, maybe lie if you think she'll go ballistic. I'll give you a hint: she knows.

[VIVANT]

It’s normal to go in by yourself —even if your mom drives you, drs have to respect privacy.

if for some reason your mom is there you can lie if you want. Drs can’t determine if you are a virgin or not. That’s between you and whomever you Want to share it with.

but for real leave your mom in the waiting room. Unless you are actually Ill, there’s no need for company.

[katiesmuff]

Your 19 years old why the hell would your mother have to take you? You can make your own appointment and go alone, in fact at 19 unless you requested it I doubt they would even let your mother go in with you.

[pink_and_inlove]

I know it’s retarded but I’ve never made a doctor’s appointment for myself I haven’t even been to the doctor since I was 17 I believe I told her though that I want to learn. I called planned parenthood to figure out about birth control but I prefer getting birth control with her knowing than behind her back unless that’s the only option

[katiesmuff]

If you are sexually active and it sounds like you are and your mother won't take you for the BC then you get them from PP and no reason not to tell your mother. You are a legal adult, act like it! You should also find a gyno for yourself at your age. Just like a car needs check ups we girls do as well.

[Neko911]

Depends. I tried it out once when I was first with my ex. Before we had sex. And it was awful for me. Caused severe depression (I already was depressed as well) and basically made it worse. I was getting sick a lot as well. Had to be taken off of it after like 4 months. Be prepared for a hormonal rollercoaster

[pink_and_inlove]

How’s the process of getting birth control? They don’t ask me if I’m a virgin in front of my mom right? I want to talk to the doctor alone

[pink_and_inlove]

My mom might try to come in

[Neko911]

They'll take u by yourself. And u can tell them u don't want her to come back with u

[magiusX26]

usually the doctor will ask mom to step out of the room for questions about such personsl stuff. either way he is supposed to ask you and with you being over 18 more so.

[pink_and_inlove]

If my mom’s there I’ll have to lie

[AustColombiangirl]

Best birth control in my opinion is an IUD

[jeremy_09]

it's all completely private to you alone and at 19 you shouldn't need your mom's permission for any of this, to have sex or bc or anything, she should not say, "I'll think about it."

[pink_and_inlove]

I don’t think my parents even view me as an adult or they they just maybe want to control my life forever. I told her that it took me a lot of courage to tell her this

[jeremy_09]

but you are an adult and these decisions are 100% yours no matter what she says

[pink_and_inlove]

I know. She seemed disappointed and said that she didn’t know that I would turn out this way is it that bad because we’ve already been dating for 5 months and known each other for 6? It’s not bad that I want to have sex with him I love him but she says that he’s been my only real boyfriend and that im naive and that I’m not ready and that she’ll think about it today. Do you think that she’ll take me? I’ve expressed to her how important this is to me and how scared I am

[jeremy_09]

most girls have sex in high school so she should be glad you waited

[pink_and_inlove]

She also told me that I need to stop being horny and stuff like what the hell lol I’ve only wanted to have sex with one guy in my life

[pink_and_inlove]

Do you think she’ll take me?

[jeremy_09]

just go by yourself, it's easy to do and the doctor's office will help you with all the details

[pink_and_inlove]

I don’t even know how to make an appointment for myself and my mom would know if I left the house

[jeremy_09]

at 19? this all sounds very weird to me, maybe a girl can help more

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah I’ve never made an appointment for myself.

[bannacookies]

Since you are 19 your mom won't know anything that you and your doctor discuss. They should tell you the side effects of birth control pills. Sometimes it takes a while before you find the right one. And remember, just because you take birth control doesn't mean it's a one hundred percent guarantee that you won't get pregnant still. I know someone personally who was taking birth control pills and got pregnant.

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah my friends mom got pregnant all 3 times with birth control. I don’t want to use that alone I want to use condoms as well

[magiusX26]

i have seen one on the depo shot still get pregnant. to op, one thing you need to know about all birth control meds. all are less effective if you are taking antibiotics for any reason.

[pink_and_inlove]

@magiusX26 I don’t take any antibiotics I just take vitamins like fish oil that’s it. I should have like a zero percent chance of getting pregnant with both condoms and bc right?

[magiusX26]

on paper you are correct but the reality is nothing besides abstebance is 100%. i mentioned the antibiotics for future tefference too. say you get an ear infection and doctor puts you on an antibiotic, that will lessen how effective your bc med is (i say med because there are patches and shots too, not just a pill).

[pink_and_inlove]

@magiusX26 I’ve worried enough lol Why are you making me worry more 😭 just say it’s effective I’ve only used confirms all this time and I’ve never gotten pregnant with bc I’ll be even more protected

[pink_and_inlove]

Condoms *

[magiusX26]

truth be told, he could take one of the rarely found male bc meds, use a condom, you use bc med, something like nuvaring, a "sponge", and a diaphram plus spermacide and a morning after pill the next day all combined and pregnancy CAN happen. the likelyhood after all that would be something like point 000000000000000001 in a million percent but still could happen.

[magiusX26]

more protected yes but not fullproof. not saying all this to scare you or worry you. just giving you more of the facts.

[pink_and_inlove]

@magiusX26 lol alright well this is the most that I could do right now I can’t do more than this besides we only have sex like once or twice a month we’ll be fine

[magiusX26]

agreed you should be fine. happy humping

[jahaims]

Why not go by yourself?

[pink_and_inlove]

I don’t have my own car and I can’t drive alone yet I just have a permit

[jahaims]

And your 19? Take a cab

[pink_and_inlove]

They’ll know. My mom’s a stay at home mom she even tracks my bank account with my ex she legit made me download a tracker on my phone

[jahaims]

That's crazy. Sucks to be you. I couldn't imagine being 19 and not being independent.

[pink_and_inlove]

I just got my first job I know how to drive but I just need to get a license

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah I know I’m a bit behind I go to college though but unfortunately I don’t have enough money to move out and u have strict parents

[jahaims]

Yeah it's hard to be on your own. I went to college full time and had a full time job at 18 and moved out. I started working and saving money when I was 12 though.

[Twalli]

Unless your mom is in the room with you, tell the doctor the truth and ask him/her not to tell your mom. (S) he will honor that confidentiality because under HIPAA, a doctor has to.

[alance99]

There is nothing to stress about and they won't know if you are virgin or not and if ask you about it just tell them you aren't sexually active, your monthly cycle might get disturbed and they will inform you about rest of side effects. You have already mentioned you'll be using condoms too with you boyfriend so are safe just stay calm and have fun 🙂🙂

[msc545]

They cannot speak to your mother about *anything* - there is a law against that at least in the US and probably other places as well. The doctor you see can talk to you about various BC methods and what would bes best for you. You are an adult - you don't need your mother with you at all.

[michael1469]

Tell her its to help w pcos.

[pink_and_inlove]

I dont have pcos

[michael1469]

Work with me here... trying to help ya out.

[pink_and_inlove]

She knows that I don’t have that I can’t just self diagnose myself with it

[michael1469]

Ok... I tried.

[Anonymous]

Well, it's kind of obvious, because why else would you need birth control? I didn't know that shit needs to be prescribed by a doctor. That fucking sucks. You can't just drive yourself? Why didn't you just tell her you need to go for something else? Now it's pretty obvious so you might as well tell her. Or if you're that scared just don't have sex

[Anonymous]

It is pretty safe to assume your mom knows that you are either sexually active or about to become sexually active if you're going to get birth control.

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah I just told her “I think I’m ready and I don’t want a mistake to happen I’m very scared about that” I told her and she said that she’ll think about it she seemed a bit disappointed though and said that she never thought that I would be this way. I’m a shy girl and I’ve only had sex with my current boyfriend because I love him and see a future with him sure we’ve only been together for 5 months and known each other for 6 but we’re human lol