If you were a former sex worker, would you tell this to the man you were going to marry?

Question

Flatmanlewis · Accepted Answer

If you have to lie to be with somebody then it probably isn’t right. A lie by withholding information is still a lie. If you are going to go down that road I think it’s a huge land mine you will HAVE to address one day. Two reasons:

First, like Greek tragedies from 2000 years ago human stories have been filled with unforeseen twists & turns that derailed the best laid plans and seemingly perfect lives. It’s always been this way. The stunningly remote odds that information about a previous lifestyle could arise may seem nearly impossible…. until they come up. Then what? A former customer. A piece of obscure internet information. A crazy twist in the past that leads to a revelation that (from your current place in life) seems absolutely impossible, yet happens. The chance to be upfront and truthful only happens when it’s not under duress or in a panic to perform some damage control. At that point the years of concealed truth absolutely shatters all trust built up over the previous time together and (often) is irreparable.

Second, unless you are comfortable that a dishonesty or concealed piece of information about you is acceptable and, therefore, also acceptable from him, then are you not living a facade? Is the authenticity of the relationship true and real or just a impersonation of a true relationship? Seeking to avoid all discomfort and embarrassment is how a child behaves and therefore a childish relationship is the product. Adults and people who respect one another don’t live life skipping from one happy moment to another, pretending the hard conversations and topics don’t exist. In fact, they take those opportunities to push into the parts of a relationship where they can share the unique experiences with one another.

This, of course, is only my opinion and there are plenty out there but if you have a relationship with a man knowing that he doesn’t even know the real you (but other strangers do) even you will know in your heart that what you think you share with them may vanish overnight if, by some unbelievable coincidence you cannot even predict, reveals your true identity and past.

If he leaves now - it wasn’t meant to be. Best do it early and get it over with. If he stays - then the authenticity of what you have together is real and may very well establish the pattern of honesty and integrity that a healthy relationship NEEDS to survive in this modern age.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

This is pretty important…. Maybe it’s not something you need to say on the first date. But if you’re gonna marry someone you should share with one another things like that. I’m sure there are things you would want to be told before you married a guy.

Samantha36 · Accepted Answer

Yes. No secrets before you get married. This should have been discussed shortly after you got together. Saves wasting time for you both if it was a deal breaker for him

Princesspd · Accepted Answer

I was not a sex worker, but I filmed couple videos. I never told my husband about my past. My past shouldn’t concern him. My videos are still on the internet.

DaveJord · Answer

Better you then someone else down the line.

b_lova · Answer

To me it's a breach of contract of you don't. Besides if you say you love each other hiding intimate details is proof you don't.

Asb_Samson · Answer

I will really tell him about my everything. Because the relationship I am going to create is so critical and can't bear any thing on Lie specially. Be open and don't lie if your really need to make bonding stronger in your relationship.

boggboss · Answer

I would feel Betrayed if it was hidden from me

Dargil · Answer

Speaking as if female. So long as our relationship is flourishing and I am not inclined to return to The Life, no. I know a married woman like that. She is very confident with men and somewhat showy in dress. But she's OK.

Tim2nice · Answer

It depends. I’d get to know the man well first before deciding whether to reveal that piece of information. If he’s open minded like me he wouldn’t care. But if he’s not then it’s best you don’t tell him. That said, you shouldn’t settle for a man who can’t see past your history. Or dare I say the present.

JacobJordan · Answer

It wouldn't take long for him to find out

DrPepper12 · Answer

I'd like to think I would but I couldn't say with 💯 certainty. Wow. I'm judging myself now!!

mistershy94 · Answer

would you consider OnlyFans being a sex worker?

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Well, I'm not a girl and obviously most men aren't sex workers, but from the flip side of the coin, I would absolutely want my girlfriend to disclose something like that before I even propose.