If your former fuck buddy happens to be your current partner's best friend, would you tell him / her?

[anon1903]

i know i might lol

[alien_astronomer]

I think partners need to know everything about each other. Knowing each other at every level nurtures trust, which is a most vital component of a relationship. Without fully trusting each other, love cannot be found. Superficially, maybe. But spiritually? No.

Not telling them about such a thing will not help. And if they find out through some third party/source, seeds of mistrust will get sown. A nagging insecurity about you still shagging the other one may cement itself in their head. They might even start fearing you falling for their best friend (actually it might be wrong to call the guy/girl 'best friend', because there's a high probability of jealousy & mistrust taking over). And that ought to widen the gap between you two.

Hearing things directly from you will of course be a bit of a shock. You partner might feel angry, distrusted. But things can be worked out. Letting them feel your love can help bridge the gap.

I'd tell my girl if I were you. I won't allow mistrust to find its way into our relationship. I'll shower her with all my affection to make things evaporate.

[Citizenkirk]

Tell him/her what? What's the issue here what's the freaking conspiracies that all this drama is coming from is there a mansion style murder behind the scenario that you're not telling us about what am I missing here that sounds so may or may not have slept with so so that someone actually had intercourse at some point in their lives or should I be picking up on an implied suggestion that whenever a person sleeps with someone that they are contaminating them with their nasty Mojo that that person is no longer considered clean or something look my...
Look my ass is going to make as much sense as you question so she can drive any kind of coherent stop process from my response here and get back with me so I can see if I can do the same with this question since I just don't see it happening

[Ozanne]

If I had ever been in this situation in the past, it would have been information I would have let them know about before getting involved. Normally I would say past lovers aren't their business, but in this case it's a little more personal. Things get found out anyway, so they may as well know early. You get to know very fast if someone is mature enough to not care, or if they make a big deal over it right away - that could save time and heartache later on.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Sure. Its weird to find out later. But its also no big deal.

[spartan55]

He probably already knows.

[Cherokeehp]

Lol so this has actually kind of sort of happened to me. They weren’t best friends, more like frenemies. So in high school I met this guy named Kyle. Kyle became my best friend. Kyle had a next door neighbor named Ed. Kyle and Ed have been friends since childhood. When Kyle introduced me to Ed I was going through a bad break up, and so I told Ed that I wanted to have sex with him. We started messing around and eventually having sex in the woods and sexting and masturbating on FaceTime and stuff. Eventually Ed moved away. I went to college and got a boyfriend. When we first met I told my boyfriend about all my past exes, flings, and sexual partners. A year later Kyle started attending my college. Kyle loves video games and he has a group of friends that all play online together which included Ed. I introduced Kyle to my boyfriend and they hit it off and eventually he joined their gaming group and met Ed. I didn’t think much of it because I had already told my boyfriend about Ed. Apparently my boyfriend didn’t realize that Ed was one of the guys I had told him about, but Ed knew that my boyfriend and I were together. They played video games together almost every day. Apparently my boyfriend and Ed didn’t get along much. They were constantly competing and taunting each other in the games. One day Ed got pissed and screamed into the mic “that’s why I fucked your bitch”. Suddenly everything clicked in my boyfriends head and he realized that I had told him about Ed before. But apparently my boyfriend just laughed it off because I had already told him about Ed and because I had never imagined that the two of them would meet I had told him an embarrassing secret about Ed. To this day they still dislike each other and yet they still play video games together.

[Hunnybee1]

I mean.. if it's former it's former. If there's need to mention it i would, but honestly i wouldn't mention it.

[Vewrie]

Because If I wanted this to be long term I can’t keep this hidden, we have to be honest and open.

[ShadezMcgee]

I might only if the fuck buddy starts making comments alluding to the past that can be misinterpreted by my current partner. Would rather have full transparency.

[JPrez]

Yeah, I would tell them. It’s always best to be honest with friends.

[kkirk4442]

It's very likely that your partner will learn of him/her being your former fuck buddy, and if heard from someone else, he/she will fill lied to by you. That could end the your relationship. So you might as well be up front. It may be difficult, even very difficult for your relationship. but it's better to be up front, that have your partner feel betrayed and lied to by you.

[GingerGuy]

If the friend hadn't already told her. I'm sure she would, just a matter of time.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Might his best friend tell him first?

[Don-__-Don]

If she doesn't tell him (she most likely won't), then I'm telling him.

For most people that is a dealbreaker, an important one that an individual should know about before dating.

[Agape93]

Yeah absolutely

[Gwenhwyfar]

Yeah. You gotta be honest.

[KingdomForAKiss]

Oh yes, that's definitely something you should tell them.

[Drumlin2001]

I'd talk to former fuck buddy bout best way forward. They know them far better than i do.

[broken_heart_at_48]

Yes because there's likely to be problems either way, but being honest with the person you're with is going to be the least problems for you. Regardless of being honest you're going to have some problems even if it's not obvious that this is the cause. You should of told them in the very beginning so they knew from the beginning what they were getting into and they could of made a decision before they caught feelings. At this point you need to be mature about it by not being a jerk to the friend and definitely not being extra nice. While making the person you're with feel like they're the only one for you.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Why not? He didn't cheat right? So what's the issue?

[TacosRAwesome]

I'd assume that his best friend told him.

[poneglyphs]

Nope don't have a fuck buddy

[naraku]

She would already know. If not, I'd tell her to avoid a VERY awkward situation.

[EssenceOfLight]

because it's something they have to clarify between them both.

[EssenceOfLight]

*no, because...