Is it bad that I don’t enjoy having sex with my husband?
Anonymous
Don’t get me wrong, I love him, I find him attractive I thinks he’s awesome.
However I don’t physically enjoy having sex with him. I enjoy the intimacy and the closeness but the physical act in and of it’s self brings me no pleasure.
Why don't you ask this of your husband? He'll tell you whether it's good or bad
0000
Asker
+1 y
I guess I should have asked if it was common..
888theGreatMaster
+1 y
welcome to marriage. marriage is not about just you. both sacrifice things for the other. He probably hates your cooking.
0000
Asker
+1 y
Okay so first of all I have sacrificed everything for him and my child. My career, body and future. It is incredibly rare that I deny him sex every when I’m not in the mood, which is usually always. Is it so bad that I want to enjoy sex with my husband?
Guardian45Guru
+1 y
This is chartered course for DISASTER! FIX IT!
0000
Asker
+1 y
How would you suggest I do that? I have never enjoyed penetration.
meetkitty123
+1 y
Hiw is she going to fix it @guardian45 Its not like she has a magic wand or flick in a switch like a light
Asker
+1 y
I can’t just flip a switch and get wet.. it doesn’t work like that.
CreamySeedXper 7
+1 y
Can you orgasm? Are you on medications?
0000
Asker
+1 y
Yes I can, its difficult bet easier for me to do alone, and I am on meds, but only have been for the past year and this issue has been ongoing for over 4 years/
anyloloneYoda
+1 y
Have you tried taking the charge in bed?
0000
Asker
+1 y
Yes, I’m not dominant, so that’s gonna be a no from me.
anylolone
+1 y
Well, then your sex life is fucked for ever. It's not about being dominant, it's about taking responsibility for your own pleasure and validating your partner, putting some effort.
Asker
+1 y
let me make this clear, my husband and I have sex pretty often. It is extremely rare that I turn him down when he initiates, and I occasionally initiate as well. When we fuck I participate enthusiastically.
Show All Show Less
anylolone
+1 y
"I participate enthusiastically". Hum... interesting. So what's the issue? Did something happen? Nope, if that was the case you'd have talked about that first...
Asker
+1 y
The issue is that for me penetrative vaginal intercourse is not pleasurable at best and painful at worst. I don’t know why and my doctors say there is nothing wrong with me
anylolone
+1 y
So it's likely psychological. You can still have sex without intercourse, by the way.
Asker
+1 y
Yeah I am aware of that
anylolone
+1 y
So, do you have non-intercourse sex? I had chicks cum on my thighs, as one example.
Asker
+1 y
No after we fuck he’s done
anylolone
+1 y
But what about before? Also, since when he needs a hard on for you to grind on his thighs? I woke up to that several times, not after sex, more like after a drunken passing out, lol!
Asker
+1 y
He doesn't but that would make me self conscious more than anything else
anylolone
+1 y
Why? Just express it, a lot of people are old enough and seen enough to have a good grasp on it already, but it will help you.
Asker
+1 y
Express what?
anylolone
+1 y
Express why that would make you self conscious and why that even matters. When I get that marathon mentality that makes me take ages to get off, I at the very least try, even though I feel that it looks ridiculous, if she's looking like she's enjoying it then it's my duty to show good faith and at the very least try to get off! And you just gave me an idea... When I get the marathon mentality, maybe it's just a good idea to stop and try again latter, let the mentality tire off alone.
Scotte1usXper 5
+1 y
Very bad , Both of you can end up cheating or divorce. You have to tell him what you like or show him, you must or you need to get help.
0000
Asker
+1 y
I don't deny him
Slim57Master
+1 y
Yeah
0000
MauryandrewXper 3
+1 y
Honey you don't want him either not a real man or not a man you want
0000
Asker
+1 y
I never said that I don’t want him
Mauryandrew
+1 y
your tongue says so but your feminine instincts don't
Asker
+1 y
That doesn't make any sense
Julious0202Xper 5
+1 y
it would be good for you to see the reason for this
0000
Anonymous
+1 y
I dont enjoy having sex with my wife. It happens
1000
Anonymous
+1 y
it's psychological and you need to talk to a therapist about it
0000
Asker
+1 y
About what?
Opinion Owner
+1 y
about you not enjoying sex with your husband it's psychological
Asker
+1 y
Well I have talked to a therapist about it, she wasn’t very helpful
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner
+1 y
then go find another one who will be
Asker
+1 y
I have seen about 7 different counselors over the span of the last 10 years. It's expensive and generally unhelpful. At this point, I can't afford the time or the financial resources to go to a sex therapist.
Anonymous
+1 y
No but tell him you don't like it.
he should then settle your alimony and so that he find someone who does enjoy having sex with him.
0000
Asker
+1 y
He knows that I don’t find penetration physically pleasurable? Why would that be grounds for divorce?
Anonymous
+1 y
Would this be the same with all guys, or just him?
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What Girls & Guys Said
2 34Why don't you ask this of your husband? He'll tell you whether it's good or bad
I guess I should have asked if it was common..
welcome to marriage. marriage is not about just you. both sacrifice things for the other. He probably hates your cooking.
Okay so first of all I have sacrificed everything for him and my child. My career, body and future. It is incredibly rare that I deny him sex every when I’m not in the mood, which is usually always. Is it so bad that I want to enjoy sex with my husband?
This is chartered course for DISASTER! FIX IT!
How would you suggest I do that? I have never enjoyed penetration.
Hiw is she going to fix it @guardian45 Its not like she has a magic wand or flick in a switch like a light
I can’t just flip a switch and get wet.. it doesn’t work like that.
Can you orgasm? Are you on medications?
Yes I can, its difficult bet easier for me to do alone, and I am on meds, but only have been for the past year and this issue has been ongoing for over 4 years/
Have you tried taking the charge in bed?
Yes, I’m not dominant, so that’s gonna be a no from me.
Well, then your sex life is fucked for ever. It's not about being dominant, it's about taking responsibility for your own pleasure and validating your partner, putting some effort.
let me make this clear, my husband and I have sex pretty often. It is extremely rare that I turn him down when he initiates, and I occasionally initiate as well. When we fuck I participate enthusiastically.
"I participate enthusiastically". Hum... interesting. So what's the issue? Did something happen? Nope, if that was the case you'd have talked about that first...
The issue is that for me penetrative vaginal intercourse is not pleasurable at best and painful at worst. I don’t know why and my doctors say there is nothing wrong with me
So it's likely psychological. You can still have sex without intercourse, by the way.
Yeah I am aware of that
So, do you have non-intercourse sex? I had chicks cum on my thighs, as one example.
No after we fuck he’s done
But what about before? Also, since when he needs a hard on for you to grind on his thighs? I woke up to that several times, not after sex, more like after a drunken passing out, lol!
He doesn't but that would make me self conscious more than anything else
Why? Just express it, a lot of people are old enough and seen enough to have a good grasp on it already, but it will help you.
Express what?
Express why that would make you self conscious and why that even matters. When I get that marathon mentality that makes me take ages to get off, I at the very least try, even though I feel that it looks ridiculous, if she's looking like she's enjoying it then it's my duty to show good faith and at the very least try to get off! And you just gave me an idea... When I get the marathon mentality, maybe it's just a good idea to stop and try again latter, let the mentality tire off alone.
Very bad , Both of you can end up cheating or divorce. You have to tell him what you like or show him, you must or you need to get help.
I don't deny him
Yeah
Honey you don't want him either not a real man or not a man you want
I never said that I don’t want him
your tongue says so but your feminine instincts don't
That doesn't make any sense
it would be good for you to see the reason for this
I dont enjoy having sex with my wife. It happens
it's psychological and you need to talk to a therapist about it
About what?
about you not enjoying sex with your husband it's psychological
Well I have talked to a therapist about it, she wasn’t very helpful
then go find another one who will be
I have seen about 7 different counselors over the span of the last 10 years. It's expensive and generally unhelpful. At this point, I can't afford the time or the financial resources to go to a sex therapist.
No but tell him you don't like it.
he should then settle your alimony and so that he find someone who does enjoy having sex with him.
He knows that I don’t find penetration physically pleasurable? Why would that be grounds for divorce?
Would this be the same with all guys, or just him?