Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health I'm a 44 year old single mom. I'm super busy and don't have time for a real relationship right now (nor do I want one). However, sometimes I just want some hot sex. I've ignored this desire for a while, but recently I started a "friends with benefits" relationship with a guy in my apartment complex. There was always sexual tension between us, but (for reasons I explained) I never pursued anything. However, a couple of weekends ago (when my kids were with their dad) we broke the tension and had sex. This last weekend (when my kids were with their dad again) we had sex 2 more times.
Even if I didn't have higher priorities right now I wouldn't be interested in a real relationship with this guy. He's 23 years old and I have no desire to be in a real relationship with someone that age. However, I am loving the sex. His sexual stamina is amazing and he goes above and beyond the call of duty to please me sexually. I get a huge ego boost someone that young/sexy would be so physically/sexually attracted/interested in me. I also am extremely physically/sexually attracted to him (but not emotionally)
However, there is another part of me that wonders if this is a good idea. I've told him directly I only want sex. He acted happy about that, but there is a bit of me that's worried feelings could potentially creep in for him. I'm also worried if it could potentially negatively affect my kids if they knew about me having a purely sexual relationship ( I have made sure to keep it hidden from them thus far). Although I don't want a real relationship now I am concerned this could be a problem if I change my mind later. I also feel a little dirty for wanting a purely sexual relationship and from wanting it with a much younger guy.
There's a huge part of me that wants to keep this up for a while because I am enjoying it a ton, but part of me wonders if it's a good idea. Is it a bad idea for me (a single mom) to have an explicitly purely sexual relationship with a guy? Or is it OK?
Is it OK for me (a single mom) to have an explicitly purely sexual relationship with a guy?
Anonymous
5 9
What Girls & Guys Said
30 124I feel bad for your kid and it's no surprise you're a single mom
Stop being immature and let people live their lifes
@kim45456 I admit I was hard on her, but I mean, come on, a sexual relationship when you have a kid as a single parent?
Single parents also have their needs.
@kim45456 A good parent puts their kids first, not casual sex
A good kid should not be selfish and have emphaty with its parents and the kids are probably at their legal age or at an age where they understand sex since she is 44
@kim45456 That same attitude is why single parent households show such a massive correlation with kids growing up to be gang members😒
you are an adult, and I assume consenting, I also asume your partner also is both.
So as long as you are not being unsafe or hurting others, what's the problem?
Fuck like bunnies, use each other to bring down the tension, or just get some relief from time to time, do what works for you and enjoy!
Shit fire , In. Today's Society, Your 109% vanilla, and " they " can't believe it took you this long? I'm a firm believer in that , no one's going to pleasure you until you pleasure Yourself! I'm sure you've heard the cliche " in order to attract Love , one must love thyself first! Yes dont let your children know, one slip of the tongue around their dad, and itll hit the fan! the only thing I can say is " be careful, same, apts, complex, building, can get skiffy, when a romance is involved,
, people watch , and blah, blah, blah
Fuck what anyone else thinks. If you wanna get railed, go get railed. Have fun 👍.
How old are your kids? If they're older than 2 or 3, then it's not right. If you have a daughter, you're setting a bad example for her for what the proper expression of sexuality should be, which is within a loving, committed relationship. And if you have a son, you're teaching him that it's okay to just use women for sex and nothing else (and you're also embarrassing him in front of his friends.)
I commend you for having doubts and second thoughts, though. At least you have a conscience. A lot of people don't.
There is nothing inherently wrong in enjoying sex with another consenting adult. In your scenario, you both get enjoyment, and he probably gets to learn a lot, too.
Two considerations do spring to mind, though.
You seem ashamed to tell your kids. Wouldn't it be better to make them aware? You don't have to emphasise the "purely sexual" part. If they know, that prevents a nasty surprise when it comes to light.
Might the time you are spending with him interfere with your developing a "real" relationship. You say you don't want or have time for that, but you obviously have some time and want some aspects of a relationship, so...
If it works for you and it works for him, why not? You have needs and so does he. i say keep it up (but keep it discrete, at least for the time being)
Yes.
Heck yeah it is, just be responsible and careful
Since you are divorced, go for it. I'm a guy and I know a girl at university who I fantasize a lot about her every single time. I don't have any feelings but I feel like I want to sex with her every time. I just know her at hi base. I dont know how to go about or what to do. Any advice? Thanks.
It could get out of hand; don't you be the one that catches those feelings though - don't to break your heart, redestroying your life...
I think he's happy though, spanking a sweet ol' lady's arse - he victory dancing
Purely sexual relationship. I like the sound of that.
Keep this up, and let's see who the child will start calling "Daddy".
Can you tell me what you think the arguments against it are?
read the description and you'll find out
I have read it, but all you said in regards to your children is that you're worried that it will negatively affect them. Let me rephrase my question then - how exactly do you think it could negatively affect them?
I've heard of kids who became confused because their parents would sleep around with someone. I guess I want to be able to do the sleeping around without confusing my kids. I also want to make sure feelings don't get involved. I'm also concerned if this could have a negative impact on things if latter down the road I change my mind and want to look for a real romantic relationship.
Okay, I understand. You said you're keeping it hidden, so I think you're safe. If they happen to find out somehow still, you need to communicate with them properly.
1. I feel pretty safe overall about keeping it hidden. Their dad has them half the time so I just have sex when they're not with me. However, sometimes I worry they'll look at a text I sent him (or something like that) and find out. Is there any way i can make sure something like that doesn't happen? 2. If they did find out how could I communicate properly as to make sure they're not confused by it?
1. Make sure they don't have access to your phone. Don't let them know your pin code and don't let your phone lie around. Keep it away from them. 2. If they do find out and have questions, sit them down and explain to them (in a kids friendly way) that you're not in a relationship with anyone and are just meeting them for spending time together, but that it's adult time away from kids.
As long as it doesn't lead to him following in love with you and wanting to marry you, you should be fine with just sex. If I was the guy I would ride this out as long as possible till he either wants something more or you out grow the sex.
I’ve wanted and still want the same thing, especially with an older woman. It’s ironic that him and I are the same age. If you’re having doubts and concerns, then that’s your conscience convicting you that it’s wrong. There are many wrong things that I wish were ok, but we don’t have the authority to revise the laws of morality God has set in place.
Sex is sex. As long as you both agree that it is just sex. He's 23. Sex is definitely on his mind. As long as you can respect each other's space between then you can make it work. If things develop then that means you ready for a relationship but just take it slowly and enjoy that amazing sex.
More power to you. He's of legal age. I really dont see any problems here. You made your intentions clear and there's consent. Don't feel guilty about it
Just continue to keep it secret from your kids and I don’t see the problem.
Why wouldn't it not be ok? we all have needs ands desires no matter how old we all are. you made the 1st step with yourself and admitting what you really want and thats a huge step for anyone to do