Is it okay to refuse sex after an argument?

So my boyfriend and I had a fight 2 and a half weeks ago, not a very big fight just him annoying me for the hundredth time and I haven’t wanted to have sex since then. Nor any physical affection. Until I get over the fight I don’t want to have sex or do anything sexual.

Boyfriend thinks I’m punishing him and it’s unfair because he has apologised for the fight. I don’t believe it is, I can’t force myself to want to have sex.

0 2

Superb Opinion

  • I don't know I never held out on sex even when I was mad.. I enjoy sex lol
    But my ex would hold out on me for sometimes a whole month is one of the reasons I left him.. its a douche thing to do to your partner especially if you want it to last.

Most Helpful Guys

  • The fact that you hold a grudge is on you. Weather you are doing it consciously or not, you are indeed punishing him. Which is bad. You need to take a step back and maybe break things off. Neither of you are ready to be in an adult relationship..

    Source.. I've been married 8 years. Never not once has either of us been so angry that we denied the other affection. The longest dry spell was a week, but that was only due to sickness.

    The fact that you're holding onto this anger over a fight, shows you're not only not in love with him, it shows that you're petty.

    I could see refusing sex for a day or two.. But two weeks? That's ridiculous. Couples make eachother mad.

    • I should ad, no one is entitled to sex. Not you, not him. But I guarantee we're the roles reversed you'd have people here suggesting you cheat on him.. And no I'm not suggesting you have sex with him when you don't want to. What I am suggesting is the fact that you're so angry at him after two weeks, means you're not a good couple. You need to address that. If you do indeed love him, you need to seek counseling to address your anger issues and your inability to let things go. In the grand scheme of things, it's insignificant.

  • I don't think sex should ever be weaponized. The lovers I've had have enjoyed the act as much as I have and though I have nothing against call girls, using sex in a way to get something or to punish someone is basically the oldest profession in the world

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not being in the mood to have sex occurs, even if you don't have a fight. Seems like you guys should reconcile and figure out why the fight occurred and try to find some happiness again.

    Sexual desire can occur for many reasons, and I'm sure it will return for you guys, but sex is not a way to make an apology or to make things better.

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 26
  • Yes, it is. However, I’d suggest trying to talk to him again about the argument. Holding grudges is never good. But if it’s truly a big enough deal to you to where you can’t let it go after exhausting all solutions, it might be time to split up.

  • It’s ok to refuse sex of any reason. You don’t owe anyone sex.

  • Yes. It's called "I don't want any sex." :)

  • I think you have to talk to him about it and then try to put it behind you. If you can't then maybe you have to move on. Was the fight about sex or during sex?

  • This is 100% okay! It doesn't sound like your withholding sex more just seems like you feel not attracted to him cuz of this fight. Don't force yourself just wait until things ease up and you feel in the mood again.

  • I know some people like the whole make up sex thing, but I don't believe in it. I sometimes think the person may be using it to get their way or to make it blow over.

  • Two and a half weeks and you haven't resolved this? Your relationship is not healthy. How did he annoy you?

  • You're using sex as a weapon, which is wrong. If he's apologized for the fight, what else do you want him to do? You know, makeup sex can be really enjoyable... try it.

  • Of course. Nobody is entitled to your body without your express prior permission

  • Yes, it is.

  • If you don't want sex that's fine. But holding into an argument 3 weeks later seems rather excessive. Either move on from it or maybe you need to question if the relationship is what you want.

  • It's okay to refuse it after an argument or any other time you're not in the mood for it. 2.5 weeks seems like a long time to not get over a fight, especially not a big one. Could there be more going on that you don't want sex and the fight was just the tipping point?

  • It's a tricky balance to find. On one side, 2 and a half weeks of no sex over an argument does seem punitive, but I don't know what the argument was about and you shouldn't force yourself to have sex, if you aren't comfortable.

  • It's ok to refuse sex at any time under any circumstances. It's your body you can choose and any guy should be respectful of that.

    It's ok if he is dissapointed, but you're not an object for him to use, unless you have a submissive kink.

    If you are feeling horny too, then perhaps just go for it, otherwise you should stand your ground and the last thing he should be thinking about after an argument is sex.

  • Staying mad for 2 1/2 weeks is a little ridicule's in my opinion.

  • I dont think couples are obligated to sex wheb other one wants it.

  • What will it take for you to get over the fight?

  • It's okay. But for how long? I mean, that is the question I am asking you. Really think about it.

  • It's ok to refuse at any time for any reason. You don't owe them sex.

  • He should sleep with other women while you take cate of your personal issues

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