Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I was groomed by my step father when I was 8-9 years old. This means, that he was preparing to rape me. He would put his hands in my pants to "check to make sure I had nickers on". He was blind so it was a pretty good excuse for tricking a young girl into trusting him. Thankfully though, my mum left him before he could do anything worse then just touching me.
This has stuck with me all my life. Ever since then, I have almost purposely put my self in dangerous situations. I never thought, oh I'm going to find a creep and tell him to rape me. What I did was find any guy I saw as being creepy and pervy and go along with what ever they said. I always got out of there just before they did anything though. The thrill I got from doing this was simply amazing.
I've almost become addicted and now I even try to set up situations where I am in protential danger. I've gone to the darkest scariest parts of towns late at night, wearing clothing that made me look sexy. I've met up with desperate creeps on the Internet and worn cute girly clothing. I've even set up social media accounts and pretended to be a young girl just to make the creepiest of guys talk to me.
I have created a fantasy where I get raped by a creepy, overly friendly guy. Not the kind of rape where a big hard guy comes and brutally rapes me with a knife to my neck. But by a sweet neighbourly guy who could do no harm.
The moment I realised what I was doing (because up until then I was doing what came normal to me) was when I watched "The Lovely Bones" where Stanley Tucci kills a little girl. I got so hot from this film, and now I can't help but think about how much I want to get raped!
It's even effecting my love life. Every time there is a rape scene in a film, my partner takes the piss out of me and calls me "dirty", because he knows it turns me on! He just can't understand why I'm like this.
Here is a picture of my dream guy from "The Lovely Bones."
Thoughts and oppinions?
What Girls & Guys Said
10 19I have been raped, at the age of fourteen. It really, really destroyed my teenage years. I had ( and still, to this day) have night terrors and flashbacks. It's ruined my sex life, I remember scrubbing myself (down there) with bleach most days for ages. I turnt to alcohol abuse and became dependent on it by the age of fifteen, and overdosed three times. Getting raped ruined my life, and the person is still out there.
Thank you for shairing this story with me. Believe me, I really understand how serious this is. This is why I am seeking help! I dont want to actualy get raped, but I can't help get really really turned on my the thought.
I wish you the best of luck darling :)
No, it's not that weird
The troll is strong with this one
This is a serious question that is seriously hurting my life. I really need help but going to a councellor is not so simple as my other half is totaly against them and refuses to let me go see one
You have a right to see a counselor if you want or need to. Nobody has the right to stop you. If someone is forcing you not to go, that person is abusing you.