Is saying "the past is the past" a cop-out?

Whenever I read posts about sexual history girls always say "the past is the past". I feel like this is a cop-out. Most girls know past promiscuity is a turn off, and in many cases even a deal breaker. I feel like they say this to avoid consequences for their actions.

Now let me say I don't think there is anything wrong with casual sex or having lots of partners. But I am more sexually conservative and try and limit my partners. I don't have casual sex and think sex is the most intimate thing two people can do and should be reserved between 2 people who care about each other. I am against slut shaming, but I think people should have the right to make their own dating preferences.

I just feel like saying "the past is the past" is not a good response. Yes, it is the past, but I have the right to exclude you from my dating pool because of it. Girls know most guys don't like promiscuous women and I think they use this as a way to avoid consequences for past behavior.

Anyways, what do you all think? Is it a valid excuse or is it a cop out?
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  • the past is the past in the sense that the girl may not want to relive her past experiences.
    there is no way that "the past is the past" on a psychological standpoint since experiences are the way people grow.
    therefore, if she hints at a trait of her "former" personality and then says the past is the past, it is likely the feelings still have potency.

  • Depends on what it's about, and if it was resolved or not

  • I can understand saying "the past is the past" when you make one or two mistakes but when she's fucked 50+ guys she knew what she was doing and can't just say "the past is the past". It's not like it was an accident. She's a slut for life.

  • Of course it is, and more likely than not it's not in the past at all. They were probably being promiscuous as they were saying that. At least they'd continue to be if given the chance/you broke up.

  • 'The past is the past'... a phrase exclusively used by promiscuous people.

    • 😂😂😂

    • Agree

  • Nope, you can't change the past... unless you somehow have found a way? So no real reason to sweat over it. You have the right to exclude whoever you want and she has the right to tell you whatever she wants... you don't have the right to make her tell you things she doesn't want to and she doesn't have the right to make you stay when you are no longer interested. It just is what it is... I try not to attach too much weight to things like this. Too each their own though.

    • I agree she doesn't have to tell me, but it would be really shady if she lied about it. Some people just have different values and that's ok. Not everyone is compatible. Such is life though. Thanks for the input!

    • Agreed. I've only ever been with my Husband but God forbid anything ever happened and I was dating again I wouldn't answer such questions... he can assume whatever he wants, if that's that important to him then we just wouldn't be a good fit. Everyone is indeed different & needs different things.