Is there anything such as half yes and half no?

[anon1903]

#NoMeansNo my twitter friend is fighting with her other friends over how consent works. she shared this so no im not violating her boundaries by sharing this with y'all.

[MrOracle]

Over the years, there have been at least 5 women who have posted here about being upset because they said "no" to sex and the guy "gave up" - these women were mad that he didn't keep trying, and while she did actually want sex, she wanted to play hard to get and for the guy to keep pushing. In other words, she wanted the validation of being sexually desirable, and wanted to manipulate the situation, but the men didn't play along.

This is how twisted a few women can be - and I'm not at all suggesting that most women are this way, but it only takes a few to train men into bad habits.

Maybe this guy was just a selfish asshole - certainly such men exist - but some twisted women exist as well and confuse the issue for everyone.

[anon1903]

I'd take mad women over false rape cases.

[MrOracle]

Me too, but you can see how some men would get confused.

[anon1903]

Jail will clear any lingering confusion they might have 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 Same here. 100%. Let them be mad. I don't give a fuck.

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs exactly 💯

[boggboss]

The issue is there it lots of gray area in a perfect world 100 no means no and that's the end of it but there are qomen out there that I have spoken too irl that like to play silly games with this and have told me they will say no because they want their partner to be forceful with them which I believe goes into concentual none concent some guys expirance this then assume any no is that which I think is wrong and stupid I will say the defence but she enjoyed it is a crazy statement to make for someone wanting sex

[boggboss]

Their are other areas aswell for example that are in that grey such as morning sex which me and my partner both do or drunk sex both situation one or both parties can't give concent but we have essentially given preconcent and or trust the other won't take the piss

[anon1903]

You shouldn't fk women who play silly games because you can end up behind jail thanks to their silly games

[anon1903]

I don't think you should fk unconscious people lol

[anon1903]

They are your partner. You can wake them up or have sex when they sober up later

[boggboss]

I wouldn't have sex with someone that does play games and I said we have drunk sex not fuck the other when they are passed out lol

[anon1903]

You shouldn't drink and fuck either

[anon1903]

Are you against gamers? I feel for you

[boggboss]

Na drunk sex is amazing we been doing it for close to 6 years now with no issue

[boggboss]

What do u mean about against gamers

[anon1903]

Do you feel gamers are unattractive

[boggboss]

No lol why would I

[DizzyDesii]

We all have thoughts in our mind but unless she gave consent out loud, it was rape. And who tf wanna be raped with a gun that couldve went off inside her

[petitedollbabee]

No such thing. No means no, regardless of how your body reacts. Unless it’s CNC. Then no means yes but there’s a safe word in place that means stop.

[anon1903]

Safe word! Exactly!

[ohsheeT]

If there was it would be in the dictionary right between yes and no there is no halfway is either one or the other and that's the bottom line no means no yes means yes but still needs to be respected in the middle of that yes something might happen where she might want to stop and she says stop that means stop because there's a problem somewhere and you need to respect her and stop it's not the end of the world stop and take care of the problem stop and make sure she's okay there's a reason why she's saying stop

[Jamie05rhs]

@ohsheeT 💯

[NamerOfStars]

No- but there is complexity and nuance- it's very possible to want to do something and still not agree to do it- and not all communication is verbal.

That doesn't sound like what happened here, though; a clear "no" is a clear "no". Of course, that DOES have to be articulated- consent can't be revoked retroactively (no matter what certain people say), and it doesn't matter how strongly you feel it, you need to articulate it- if other methods fail, then through words.

Desire, or even enjoyment, do emphatically NOT constitute consent.

[slatyb]

No, there isn't. I would never continue unless I had an enthusiastic partner. I don't need verbal permission, but I do need cooperation. If a woman showed any reluctance I would stop.

[Kaneki05]

Someone can say no to wanting to kiss you but if you lean in and they lean back that's a yes. If they do not lean in then it's a no.
People lie about what they want but the way they actively respond to an act is the way they truly feel.
Before fucking actually happens there would be clear multiple signs like even touching her would show you whether she wants it or not. So unless you are inept at noticing such things, one should have common sense to know when No is for sure a No.

And obviously something like the example is rape unless if she consented to a roleplay of that nature way beforehand.

[MementoMori777]

What is she trying to justify here, there's no such thing as half of either one

[Ms_Facesitter]

'Maybe'.

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe.

[FilmGuy93]

That's not how I do things, no. There are only "yes"-es and "no"-es. I have learned to approach my life and relationships with the understanding that anything short of an unambiguous "yes" should be interpreted as a "no."

If the other person takes issue with that, they need to find the initiative to correct the record with me because I'm not going to extend the effort to see if they've changed their mind.

[Nikki1989]

No. Yes means Yes and No means No.

[es20490446e]

Yes means yes, and no means yes later.

[AdithyaR]

Anything other than an enthusiastic yes is a no.
Simple, end of story.

[Luffy1990]

No there is either a yes or no. If she was clearly said no then it’s rape. That man disgusts me

[Luffy1990]

If it’s not a yes then it’s rape

[es20490446e]

Many girls are ambiguous.

For example in one situation a girl told me that she didn't feel like having sex, and she felt like crying, so I didn't do it.

Ten minutes later she was asking for it.

[anon1903]

How's that ambiguous? She asked for it later so mission accomplished.

[es20490446e]

No, because after that going for sex no longer felt appropriate. That said after a week she started dating someone else.

[Jamie05rhs]

@es20490446e In my opinion, brother, this is why I believe it is best to get married first. That way the girl will feel secure and safe in the relationship, and she won't be afraid.

[es20490446e]

@Jamie05rhs I agree. Maybe not delaying marriage for years, and making it simpler, will also help. In the old times people just got together any time during the week, and got married. Then they made a simple meal with the closer family, and that was it. Today it takes long time to decide, and long time to prepare. It got ridiculously complicated.

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs I respect your values, But I think some people just need to upgrade their decision making process. If it's not working with one guy, I'd probably take a break. Jumping to the next person is just lame and despite.

[anon1903]

@es20490446e what she did was awful. But no, marriage and family isn't the solution. You know some people commit adultery yes? That's even worse! I'd say good riddance.

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 Thank you. But faithful marriage IS the solution! Adultery is not marriage!

[Jamie05rhs]

@es20490446e Thanks, man. And yes, you are right. Actually, EVERYTHING has become more complicated. And one of the reasons that dating and engagement is more complicated is because people are more complicated.

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs people's faithfulness cannot be measured by marriage

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs become more complicated? You know breaking up with a cheater is easier than divorcing them and neglecting kids yes? Haha XD

[es20490446e]

For me every single instance where the person was not appropriate for long term companionship was exposed pretty quickly. Usually before two weeks, and always before a month. Because people just prefer to let you know, rather than being disappointed further on the road. Also inappropriate people tend to get quite impulsive pretty quickly. They cannot easily pretend. Under a bit of pressure they do shit almost instantly. Since I'm pretty open about my thoughts, that alone is enough for pressuring them if we don't match. For example I'm a very healthy active person. I can comment about that, and if they do nothing for their health, they pretty quickly feel they won't be able to keep up.

[anon1903]

That's good

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 I said that dating and relationships have become more complicated. But that's out of necessity. Because you need to make sure you know who people are.

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs I personally think dating has improved

[es20490446e]

I don't feel the same way 😏

[anon1903]

Go drown in a puddle then smh 😒

[es20490446e]

Ironically just got a date :D

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 "I personally think dating has improved" 🤨🤔🤔 How so?

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs it has. People are now more aware about boundaries, sexuality, genders, romantic orientation etc.

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs my mom is an ace. She says she always felt less than others because sexual attraction was something that she was supposed to experience naturally, and when that didn't happen, she felt less than normal. I, as gen z, explained it to her how it's totally normal to want kids and being grossed out by a sex. Asexuality is also a sexuality.

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 But none of that has actually helped people to come together and form couples. It's only helped them respect each other better in singleness (which isn't a bad thing in itself, of course.)

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 And that's fine. Was your parents' marriage arranged?

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs it starts with respect, James

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs no.

[Jamie05rhs]

"it starts with respect, James" @anon1903 I agree.

[Jamie05rhs]

If your parents' marriage wasn't arranged, then why did your mother choose to get married? Since she was asexual. And how did she even fall in love with him?

[es20490446e]

I respect, yet I have found nobody :P

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs I said she isn't capable of experiencing sexual attraction. And millennials aren't as well informed as gen z, so of course she thought she couldn't have kids either and in order to fit in, a typical conservative move if you ask me, she married my father. It worked out, since he's the submissive guy and she's the dominant woman. If only, she left her conservative mindset and embraced what a terrific submissive man my father is, things would be smooth.

[anon1903]

You also need a personality, darling. Being nice and respectful cannot be your only traits. Women want boyfriends, not waiters.

[anon1903]

Sorry if I sound harsh but a lot of nice men think women owe them dates because they aren't outright assholes. Well, it doesn't work like that.

[es20490446e]

Okay, just one date ago. The girl asks me out, and we go on four dates. But one day she randomly call me, and tell me that she doesn't feel a spark or enthusiastic to date me. But because she feels good with me we can still meet and even kiss. The question that I'm asking here is: Why shall I be interested in that, on meeting a woman for kissing that she says doesn't feel anything for me? Versus just asking any other woman out? Why shall I owe you that kind of attention? The answer I gave, very calmly: "okay, if you are ever enthusiastic again call me. bye :P" In my mind I see it the other way around: she's stupid and carved her own tomb. Now she pretends she's the one discarding nice boys, but actually are the boys who choose to discard that kind of shit she gives back.

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 I'm confused. Are you saying your mom is a Millennial?

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 What were the follow-up comments referencing? And were they addressed to me or to @es20490446e?

[Jamie05rhs]

@es20490446e I agree with you.

[anon1903]

She's shitty. I agree. @es20490446e

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs don't get caught up in semantics.

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 What semantics?

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs the thing is, if she had gone through modern dating, she'd either accept my father for who he is or have a fulfilling life as an asexual. In both options, she'd happier than she's now. Because modern dating is fulfilling. I don't know what y'all are on about.

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 So are you saying that she's dominant but she wants him to also be dominant? So basically, she's enslaved to social gender norms and expectations. Right? So that's why she can't be content and accept the dynamic that she has with her husband (your dad), even though it works really well. Because she's still clinging to an outdated philosophy.

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs yes. A price she pays for being conservative.

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs for instance, you as a person can say the fact that my dad knowing his way around the kitchen and not minding the title of house husband makes him sissy or feminine, he as an liberal would just shrug and say he is content with life. He's content with everything.

[anon1903]

It's an example. Please do not mock my father.

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 Ah; I see. I understand completely now. And why would I knock your father? He's an amazing man.

[Jamie05rhs]

"mock"; sorry. Same answer, though. I would never mock him. I support him 100%.

[anon1903]

@Jamie05rhs thank you. Indeed he is.

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 👍💪

[call_me_scar]

Nope even in cnc no is just replaced with a safe word which if you hear you put things to a halt immediately

[aoihewgf]

So we got a little CNC here. I don't know, I see 2 Cs and only one N. 🤫

[anon1903]

There was no safe word or aftercare. What kind of BDSM is that?

[aoihewgf]

Of course, I agree it's wrong

[Jamie05rhs]

What the actual fuck?
She said NO. Period.

[Nigjt]

No.
God Bless

[FireFox001]

That's just rape.

[Kelly6]

i dont think so

[Kelly6]

otherwise people would be half married

[shortster]

If you pull a gun on someone, I think that is pretty clearly rape.

[brandon1122]

Its rape