Is this a valid reason to be mad at boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship since May. I'm currently mad at him, but I feel like it's a dumb reason to be mad and I would like everyone's advice before I do anything stupid. My boyfriend calls other women hot and fine and pretty knowing it bothers me. He also makes jokes about leaving me and me being flat knowing it hurts me. It's like he purposely wants to hurt me. He follows pornstars and insists he doesn't watch porn, although he admitted to watching it multiple times. I'm probably overreacting about him watching porn, since almost everyone does it, but I just wish he'd stop telling me about it. He goes in detail about the pornstars he watched, saying he wished I had a body like them. I've asked him if he'd be happier with someone with a better body he said yes, but he loves me for his personality. Am I being dramatic?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

in my opinion, it's fine if he watches porn. What is NOT fine is for him to compare those girls to you (unless you directly ask him, and then, you can't be mad at his answers), and it's definitely not okay to be mad when he talks badly about you or tells you other girls are hot. That's called "being an asshole" and you have every right to be upset about it.

At the very least, you need to tell him it's unacceptable for him to do any of that. Yeah, he'll look at other women, and as long as he can shut up about it, that should be no problem. But if he's saying things that make you feel bad about yourself, then he's knowingly hurting you, and that's wrong - and if he can't or won't stop, then you need to dump his ass and move on.

SleepyxJoe · Accepted Answer

The being angry at him for viewing porn is the only thing that you are being unreasonable about. Everything else is completely valid reasons to be angry. he's putting you down, making fun of you. Preying upon your insecurities and comparing you to people with different ideals of beauty; it sounds like he does this fairly often as well. Thats not how you treat someone you are supposed to be in love with. Hopefully I dont cross the line here but he sounds like an asshole and someone who should not be in a relationship.

Trpkjr · Accepted Answer

Sounds like you can do better! I think you already know that. Find a guy that appreciates you and respects you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He won't Stop. Dump his Sorry ASS!!! xxoo

ScottStevens · Answer

You are not being dramatic. A real boyfriend would make you feel like the most important person in the world to him.

break up today and understand you are normal, just looking for relationship of equals and full of mutual respect.

summiter · Answer

Does he jerk off to porn like 99% of the other guys?

TheBootyChest · Answer

No you shouldn't be mad at him. You should kick him in the balls and leave his ass in the dust and move on.

As soon as you said he talks about other women knowing it bothers you, shows me he has no respect for you. And then I read that he talks about leaving you.

So you should leave him first and don't look back.

RJJ33666 · Answer

Now a lot of people watch porn, nothing new about it, so you should let that go. But other than that, all the other reasons are very valid. He insults you and puts you down for no reason. Your boyfriend has the right to have a certain preference in women, but that doesn't mean he has the right to insult you on the lack of those preferences. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your boyfriend has no right to tease and put you down.

Birdlegs · Answer

The teasing is fine me and my ex would do stuff like that all the time but I never would’ve said I preferred anything changed about her that’s crossed the line

Mofunfour20 · Answer

If he said he would be happier with someone else then he broke up with you. You just dont see it, i mean c mon! What else do you say when you break up with someone? That long story was unnecessary if it ends with him saying that

Avicenna · Answer

It's understandable you feel that way- he shouldn't say those things.  Watching porn isn't something you should be mad at him for doing, but he shouldn't talk about it.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Totally valid

ralphphilip83 · Answer

Your boyfriend is a complete asshat. He is emotionally abusive, constantly putting you down like that. You deserve better than that. Dump his rude ass and find someone that treats you like a human being with feelings.

bowenw · Answer

I believe you have every right to be upset with the way he is mistreating you. You are not overreacting. I suggest dumping him. In the mean time start doing the same thing he does and see how he likes it. Tell him how you wish he had the body and dick of a porn star. Point out good looking guys on TV and wherever you go. Tell him what you'd like to do with them in bed.

Iron_Man · Answer

That’s disrespectful that is a problem

Twalli · Answer

Saying he'll leave you and saying he wishes you look like pornstars us wrong. Also lying about watching porn is too. Everything else isn't something you should have issues with

bamesjond0069 · Answer

you're both morons. So id say its a good match.

Hidden1029384756 · Answer

He sounds sadistic or narcissistic. No one should be with someone who doesn’t appreciate them. Sure we can all work on things and there are definitely other attractive people in the world, but you don’t degrade who you’re with. He sounds really cruel.