“Men’s instincts tend toward polygamy, women’s toward hypergamy." Agree or disagree?

Question

Whereas all men have a natural urge to copulate with a great variety of fertile women (because, in our evolutionary history, such behavior improved our chances of gene proliferation), women have a corresponding biological drive to have relations with the highest quality man they possibly can (for the same reason) and to gain exclusive commitment from that man.

Briefly put, men want a lot of women, women want one really great guy.

“Men’s instincts tend toward polygamy, women’s toward hypergamy." Agree or disagree?

hellionthesagereborn · Accepted Answer

I think that's an over simplification of the situation. What some have noted when researching this topic is that men tend to want one woman but will be more inclined to have sex with other women IF it does not require effort on their part, that is if its not going to risk the primary relationship and they don't have to commit more resources to the second woman. I think what the issue is is the over simplification of our notion of the evolutionary process. For instance the oldest instincts we have are the ones that demand we mate and is not particularly concerned with much else because in the era where those instincts developed life was short and fragile and you needed to reproduce as much and as soon as possible or you would probably die before having an offspring. The newer ones want a singular stable relationship because this increases the survivability of the offspring generated from the union essentially quality over quantity and is the reason why every major civilization has adopted this method because its just so effective. The problem is that nature is a tinkerer not an engineer, so those old instincts because they did not negatively impact survival stuck around, it was more effort to get rid of them then it was to keep them (for example when you want to move one finger your brain actually tells all of them to move then the newer part of the brain (evolutionarily speaking) tells the other fingers not to move. The newer more sophisticated parts of the brain where slapped on to the old ones and so its kind of a Gerry rigged system). So men and women want monogamy, but we also want to be promiscuous (or hypergamous in the case of women) as well, but not really to the same extent. If you look at statistics men and women both are happier when they don't sleep around, they are happier in stable relationships with one partner and tend to live longer then their more promiscuous counter parts. The problem is again, because those older instincts did not negatively impact reproduction we never really lost them they just became less pronounced. I think this is why people who grow up in unstable enviroments (poor relationships with parents, single parents etc.) tend towards promiscuity as the newer part of the brain (the primate brain) is based on socialization so without the guidance of society and that blueprint even though its desiring that kind of relationship it doesn't know how to acquire it and thus reverts to the older instincts (reptilian brain).

Dargil · Accepted Answer

It is self evident. Back when men wanted children, they might select a harem of fertile/attractive females. Women want safe, secure prosperous households to raise children in. I think we are wired this way, which is why it's a challenge for men to play in their 20s but be faithful TV dads in 30s and beyond.
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SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

Sounds about right given the amount of tones my boyfriend requests threesomes and I say no.

BlueCoyote · Answer

Generally speaking, I would agree to that. I would perhaps add that women also have a tendency for promiscuity - though it may be weaker than that of men - because finding the perfect guy can only happen if you try yourself through at least a bunch of them.

desertflwr · Answer

disagree, there's not enough high quality men for this to be fact 😂

puzzlez · Answer

Depends what you mean "highest quality"... I'm not looking for money or status, but someone who makes me happy - someone who has common decency, thinks highly of me, and has similar interests to me. I'm working on my master's - my boyfriend barely graduated high school. I could make 6 digits when i graduate - my boyfriend makes less than half of that. But he's really sweet to me, and we have a lot in common, and out of all of my relationships, im happiest with him.

So basically if high quality = money/status, then no. If high quality = is well equipped to please me (as described above), then yes.

ScottL · Answer

Humans are genetically designed to be polygamous.

The penis is shaped with a "mushroom head" to act as a squeegee to scrape out the other male's sperm, allowing his sperm to be more dominant with a higher chance he's the one who impregnates her.

lilaqua · Answer

I’d say I’m on the more polygamist side of things.

Astria · Answer

Disagree. Some men aren't primates. I believe it comes down to evolution in a mental sense. Some people haven't passed a certain stage of development and they can't rise above their animal nature and instincts. Can't exert their will to make their lives what they want them to be. Other men can. Same goes for women's instincts.

Gianna17 · Answer

To a point, I think many men have those instincts but most don't actually want a polygamous relationship. The concept of marriage was made by men afterall.

englisc · Answer

It's probably true. In the past there's proof that while 80% of women reproduced only 40% of men did.

brennanhuff · Answer

I'm asexual

sparklefairy · Answer

Porn solved these issues for us lol

CarpetDenim · Answer

Agree

WalterRadio · Answer

In order for a lot of women to have the few really great guys, the guys have to have multiple women. That is the way we are evolved, for the most part. We need to recognize this basic mating strategy.

0112358 · Answer

Yes absolutely.

However both men and women -also- have a pair/monogamous set of instincts which boost the odds of success for their shared children.

I suspect that environmental factors can actually impact the relative strength of the instincts though people can certainly have both at the same time

OvershareGamer · Answer

Why are so many people replying to such a cocksucker like you.

Chaoseverywhere · Answer

ok ez. want girl? be bigger status. money >power >xxx (most chicks) lol reality.

thebettyshow · Answer

I wouldn't mind a couple of good guys...

beebella · Answer

*shrugs*

genericname85 · Answer

I can't speak for all men but I prefer monogamy. Dunno if that helps in any way xD

Hungry_Shark · Answer

People cheat in relationships because of  "Coolidge effect" whether male or female

Greatcat · Answer

Not all men want a lot of women... hypergamy is a female trait that is undeniable though. Lot's of men believe it or not just want one women and it's this pop culture propaganda hollywood and stupid music that makes us act otherwise. Our animal sides, both men and women, would just fuck anything that moves., but I like to think we are civilized these days

“Men’s instincts tend toward polygamy, women’s toward hypergamy." Agree or disagree?

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