Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
My boyfriend is addicted to porn, what should I do?
Anonymous
My boyfriend and I are about to move in together, we got in a discussion last night because every time we try to have sex he can't get off to me because he already masturbated to porn of course. I confronted him and he admitted it was a problem and he would do anything to stop and make things better with me. What do you guys think? Is it easy just to stop watching porn and masturbating so you can enjoy havin sex with your girl?
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What Girls & Guys Said
23 59yeah i think he needs to force himself to stop somehow. Won''t be too hard actually, since porn gets tiring on its own after you realise its all fake and sex doesn't work that way in real life
I watch porn I have done it very regularly. But I can easily pull the plug on it. I don't get why guys get so addicted. I mean it looks so fake most of the time. The girls don't look real most the time.
Porn is shit I've realised.
you should make him a porn video so that he can masturbate to you:)
Out compete against porn. Start doing some really horny, nasty, perverted shit he likes to do in porn. Go to the gym and boost your sex appeal. Go turbo mode with the sluttyness.
It ain't easy... It'll take time trust me... But if he's willing to put in the effort it is possible.
Porn addiction can be a gateway to infidelity, it's so impersonal and all the adds that pop up on the sites "meet available women in your area who just want a fuck".
Now most guys will ignore these adds but a small amount don't.
No, it's not. He's an addict.
Make him wear a cb-6000s
If you could satisfy him sexually and romantically then we wouldn't even be in this position.
Whether he is or not, you clearly shouldn't be moving in together.
Are women that obsessed with "moving forward" that they can't see when the next step is right smack bang on to a land mine?
If you can't beat it, join it. Incorporate some porn into your sex. Watch porn with him and pleasure him while he's watching.
it is quite hard to quit an 'addiction'
How much do you weigh?
The question is primarily addressed to guys but I have my opinion to express.
Guys watch porno, nothing new in it. Don't ask guys' advice, act yourself. Watch a couple of movies with him (if not done so far), discuss during various scenes, observe his reaction which part of movie attracts him most. Never object to his addiction. Suggest him yourself to play same games, adopt postures and talk a bit dirty. You will have to divert his focus from porno to you.
What you said about the males goes also with the female.
Become hotter and maybe he'll pay more attention to you instead of being forced to jerk off to pixels. Js.
Unless he literally just finished beating off minutes before you have sex... porn is not the reason he can't get off.
You have no right to "confront" him about his sexual fantasy, just like he has no right to confront you about yours. Him feeling forced to suppress his natural human sexual fantasy because YOU don't like it is wrong. Should you stop watching chick flicks and having any female mental fantasies to make it so you stop putting unrealistic expectations on him? "so you can be better with him"?
It is impossible to stop human fantasy. In males, that is visual. In females, it's mental. Next time you masturbate and you are thinking of whatever it is that gets you off... just stop it. (Exactly... you can't)
Watching porn has ZERO connection to how much we enjoy having sex with our partner. ZERO! Just like you masturbating to female fantasy has NOTHING to do with how you have sex with him.
True this, but I understand there must be limits to some extent? Let's say if you did it regularly to the point that you cannot enjoy sex with your partner anymore because you are trapped in those sexual fantasies, wouldn't it be considered addictive and destructive?
I have beat off it 10+ times in a day and have constant porn input via my phone or other device and still have had crazy sex with my partner and a sexual interest in my partner. Sexual fantasies and sex with my partner are completely separate entities. I do agree that porn can be addictive because it creates dopamine in the brain which like any happy chemical becomes addictive and women can get this same level of dopamine gossiping, shopping, hanging with friends, etc. Males generally don't get that heightened level of dopamine from anything else and therefore they become driven to get it through porn. But I think you need to separate the two from what you think they are. His sexual fantasy has no relation to his desire for you.
Well actually men can get a similar level dopamine. Video games, driving a fast car, and even participating in battle. (At least according to psych research).
I sit on the fence in regards to porn watching. Like any activity, as long as it doesn't become obsessive, and stops people from living a full life ( e. g. Stops people from having an active social or working life), then it is fine. What I would like to see more in porn, is less violent films, and women to receive more respect, and better working conditions.
@Poppykate That's true. We are often given shit for playing video games by our partners and expected to stop. We can't drive fast cars because the law and money to buy them, and fighting in battle doesn't have an end product we would like. If you want porn with no violence towards women or respect for women... I suggest not looking for degrading porn. There are ample amounts of porn that treat women with respect and not violently.
I came to a compromise with a ex partner who played video games. It was, feel free to play, but play in moderation. ( and after he yelled at me from bringing him food) He agreed that he would stopped for a while, if he did that again. As it was a clear sign he was playing too much. ( I think he thought I was one of the high voiced creatures in Halo. Lol 😂)
@Poppykate I don't get why women are the ones who feel they have the right to dictate their partner's lives. If a female spends all her free time reading trashy novels a guy wouldn't (and couldn't without being considered abusive) tell her to stop it or to "only do it in moderation" He would be called a controlling piece of shit for even suggesting she stop spending so much time doing something. Even when it's something that is detrimental to their livelihood like spending all their household income shopping. If a male tells his partner to stop spending their money he is called abusive and controlling. Yet I don't know a single couple where the female hasn't controlled the male somehow.
Well that's a relationship. I have had partners tell me that I need to watch the budget. ( that's just life really) I have become quite good at finding ways to save money. I make my own laundry power. It's great at removing stains, batch lasts 3 months and costs $5 to make. This is only one of a heap of household cost saving I do in order to save. I seriously can't remember the last time I went clothes, as I design my own clothes. I had to talk to him about his video game playing because he yelled at me, and went to hit me, because I interrupted him and brought him his dinner. 'moderate' game playing for him was 4-5 hours per day. I think that if a man is playing so much that he doesn't do ANY chores around the house, then he could at least take out 10-20 mins of his day to thank the 'housekeeper' for providing him with meals, clean home, clean clothes, etc.