You're trying to solve a problem that he has no interest in solving, so you aren't likely to get anywhere. I have no idea what's wrong with him (something, to be sure!), but you don't have the power to change him or change his mind. You only have the power to change you, and change who you associate with. I mean, you can certainly TRY, by having adult conversation with him, but if he refuses to engage in that conversation, or refuses to open his mind a little, then you can't change him.
This is why compatibility is so important to the success of a long-term relationship, and why it's so important to diligently investigate that BEFORE you commit to a relationship with someone. Most of that is done by discussion, but this is an excellent example of why most people choose to have sex before committing to marriage, because sometimes these things don't come out in discussions, only in practice.
Anyway, you need to talk to him. And if you HAVE talked to him, and you're getting no where, then you need to make a decision: either accept that this is who he is and this is all he's ever going to be willing to do, and decide that you will no longer try to change it or fight about it with him or any of that, OR, you kick him to the curb and you find another guy who you have much better compatibility with. I'm sure you'd like a third option, but there isn't one.
No thank you
Wrong one sorry
But I get it and I think that although I may not like it, this is something I can't accept.
He probably has a bit of a Madonna/whore complex. Definition:
"In psychoanalytic literature, a Madonna–whore complex is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving relationship.[1] First identified by Sigmund Freud, under the rubric of psychic impotence,[2] this psychological complex is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitutes. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (the whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (the Madonna).[3] Freud wrote: "Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love."[4] Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann, writing in 2009, stated that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients".[3]"
With this kind of mindset he probably thinks that you giving him a blowjob would be disrespectful of him or something, and as a result he has a psychological block there.
What do you think, @Asker, does this seem to fit your bf's other personality traits?
Are you from outside of North America? This is very strange. It's a rare man who doesn't enjoy blowjobs, and there are usually some painful either physical or emotional things that have happened to him in the past.
It is ultimately his decision, but it seems like you should try a bit more to convince him that you really want to, and he is missing out.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I don’t get these squeamish people who take issue with the human body like that. He sounds pretty boring and unfulfilling for you and I wouldn’t expect a girl to stick around if I bore her, guys are replaceable. Plus you’re young and probably don’t want to be married yet anyway.
I do have a son from a previous abusive relationship. We do talk about marriage in the future. I dont want to leave him because of it, just more advice on how I can make it more appealing to him.
You just need to address what his issues are then. It makes no sense that he would touch part of you with his penis but not fingers. Tell him that you think it could be more fulfilling for both of you to try new positions. If you’re on here you can look up Kama Sutra positions. There’s drawing of stick people demonstrating them if you don’t want to see naked people.
Sounds like he would get on perfect with my ex-wife.
He seriously need to watch some porn and find out there is more to sex than just sex.
Tell him women are like performance cars you need to get them warmed up before you hit full throttle, your just going to have more fun that way!
Lol I'll try that
A more extreme way of putting things is saying if you thrashed a ferrari without getting it warmed up its going to spend all its time in the garage getting seen to by mechanics giving it the love and attention it deserves... But that's more of a breakup statement!
The reason why people offer themselves instead, or try to insult him is because most people are obsessed with pleasure, and cannot see beyond it. Wouldn't all of these things naturally progress in that direction?
He sounds quite insecure and close minded!
How old are you two?
He is 24 and I am 22.
Seems very strange. Have you given blowjobs before?
Yes lol
I’ll take it then :)
No thank you
Okay :(
Perhaps there shouldn't be a 10th month.
I like to give oral, but can't stand receiving. Too much trauma in my past involving that. There may be an underlying reason you don't know about. (It took over 30 years before I told my wife about my rape)
From what he has told me is that he had never had one. But he also doesn't give.
Like I said, may be more to the story then he's saying.
To me this actually sounds religious, strict religious upbringing?
Noobs.
Your boyfriend is a prude loser.
Where do you both live, what's your nationality and religious upbringings? I'm curious. It sounds like you're headed for a very dull sex life.
Show him porn and discuss about it. Why he's not into. this? Ask him to. make you understand his theory.
He's a Muslim?
No he is not.
The only person you can get answer from is him try to talk up ask him the logic when he's in good mood
I have definitely tried, he just says it's not where it goes and shuts it down.
He seems to be very Vanilla when it comes to sex.
Would he even consider watching porn with you?
Maybe you two could cuddle naked and you could just keep getting closer to his "Goods" and eventually he might let you do what you want.
As a last resort, you could find someone more compatible to your sex drive.
It’s because he really loves you from the depth of his heart!
Although that is the sweetest response, I feel like we can still enjoy each other's bodies in new ways.
From my personal experience, I would say things will take time the way you want. Don’t force him for blowjobs and all. Slowly start having sex more often and gradually start being more intimidating with him. Just don’t rush it.
strange! wow u actally wanna suck his penis lol?
He is a man that I love lol I feel like he deserves it, he just doesn't want it and that's okay. I almost regret posting this question because so many people want to try and offer themselves or insult him. If a girl didn't want oral I dont feel like there would be as much judgement.
im shocked he doesn't want it. that is so strange. you should try and suck it when he is sleeping or something and see if he likes it lol. so have u sucked another guy before?
Sounds like a dud. Move on.
The two of you may not be sexually compatible if he’s not more flexible and open to other sexual experiences that you want
Our sex life is definitely active 4-6 times a week just need more positions or exploration involved.
That’s great it’s active! I’m just saying if you don’t share similar sexual interests and one or both of you are very rigid with what you’re try or experiment with then you may end up finding you’re not as sexually compatible as you need to be to make the relationship work
U tell that man you love him but I'm outta here if you do not fulfill my sexual needs that's 50 percent of the relationship. I'm sure there's something else that bothers u about him. It sounds like u talking about a chick
Also, sex is only for marriage too. It would be better if he also understood that and you too. The mouth is not places that some men likes their penis to enter.
That sounds so boring
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