My boyfriend wants a 3sum but i'm not into that?

So he has had 3sums before in his past relationships with the girl he's dating and another girl or guy if his girlfriend at the time requests it. I'm not into that stuff it's been a conversation we've been constantly asking whenever I ask what he wants no matter if I'm asking him about food or I wanna get him a gift or something he always manages to bring it up. Yeah it does upset me sometimes but he's not a bad guy at all. I've turned down all his requests about sharing this wonderful experience as he calls it with me and I wouldn't be sharing him with anyone cause it would be just a one time thing he wants this to be something we at least 3 times a year. I've made the suggestion if he wants to do it so badly I'll give him the pass and he go find the pair of girls and do it his argument it won't be the same and I'll use it as a reason to leave i have clarified i won't leave and I'll stay. His next argument is that I'll use it as an excuse to sleep with someone else and not tell him about it. I've dated 2 guys before my first boyfriend was very abusive and still stalks me after 3 years of us being together. Second boyfriend kept telling everyone we were friends but was only sweet to me when we were alone my boyfriend now isn't bad besides having the sex drive that could possible replace the electricity grid for a country i don't mind having sex with him even when I'm not up for it but this 3sum thing is my breaking point. He keeps bugging me about it saying if he was my first I'd do whatever he wanted or if I wasn't tainted by those assholes before I would be more open to the idea his exact words tainted. I asked if he wanted to break up so he could do whatever he wanted for a month and we get back together. He offered it could be another guy in the mix I was appalled idc it's not my thing. I keep offering we break up and he does whatever he wants again i am making and excuse to leave and say he's a bad guy.

Updates:
3 mo
Should I just give in or let him go?
3 mo
He agreed to stop stressing me about it and to suffer in silence we'll see how long that lasts.
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • He's not respecting you. Period. I used to be that guy so I know. Be direct, firm and provide reasons. All reasons. I would suggest you counter his request with one of your kinks / fantasies that you BOTH can enjoy, not trade as a "well I did x so now you have to do y"

Most Helpful Guy

  • Think about it this way: What he wants is to have sex with another person. But it's sugar coated in his mind because you would also be there.

    My opinion is that you should stay true to what you feel about this.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 8
  • I would break up if I was you

  • Tell him he’s single

    you don’t want it, that’s the end of the story, he stops asking or becomes single

  • If he doesn't respect that you are not into it, I suggest he find a girlfriend that is. It may be the tip of the iceberg and he is always going to be wanting something you aren't into and will not drop it until he gets his way.

  • 2 things:
    1: it is ok for your boyfriend to have that desire.
    2: it is totally ok for you not to allow that in your relationship.

    so if he really wants that, he can do that without you as his girlfriend right?

  • This is one of those deal breakers, and you know it. For some guys, one woman isn't enough, and if he doesn't get your permission or participation, sooner or later he's going to do it anyway. Might as well get out now. His "suffer in silence" bullshit is nothing more than emotional blackmail. You know what you have to do, you're just afraid to do it.

  • Break up immediately he just wants to use his sexual fantasies on you turning you into a lesbian with two girls

    • he wants to bring in a guy Run for the hills

  • He doesn't respect you

  • I had a 3some once and the other girl was a friend who was in the same time as for yourself if you're not interested in the idea I SUGGEST YOU DECLINE THE OFFER YOU PROBABLY WON'T HAVE A GOOD TIME!

  • You need to cut him lose. Have some self worth. Really you’re willing to get back w him after breaking up w him to fulfill his fantasy? That’s sad. Then women wonder why men treat them like garbage. I don’t even know why you even gave him an option. Move on. He’s not respecting your boundaries. I’m not even sure you fully respect them to let some dude come back into your life if he took you up on the offer to breakup.