Sexual Relationships
1 y

My coworker said he’d be mad if I didn’t have sex with him and kept touching me til I gave in, then was mean to me on a project. Should I report this?

0 0

Superb Opinion

  • I wouldn't, unless it goes further. Had you ever had any intimacy with him prior? That's pretty weird actually touching someone. Upon further consideration, has he been weird since then? If so, it might be worth reporting him since he could be poisoning other ppls. opinions of you. If he seems like a good guy maybe not. If he acts weird then yes. In both cases I'm thinking about your career for the most part. If he was a bit embarrassed about it and seemed shy later that's good and I';d let it slide. As for the meanness, was it obvious to other people? If anyone commented on it to you than it was obvious and he was being weird and I'd cover my ass. One problem is that people have more and more decided its them vs. the world. When they find someone who they think is one of "them", they can get strange. With the amount of violence and animosity around anymore I think it's wise to be careful. It sucks because it allows people who are acting lie assholes to get away acting that way but I've met enough wierdoes that I'm cautious.. I was playing tennis with a woman and waved her up to the net and told her, "I'm sure its nothing but if I say get down, ust drop to the surface and move to shelter keeping a low profile. She thought I was nuts but then saw the guy and said ok. and a guy was walking down the closest streets with what used to be called a ghetto blaster turned way up and carrying what looked like an M1 semi-auto military issue carbine. At first I thought it was a prop. I mean, a weapon? Later in the day I heard there had been a shooting 2 blocks away. A decade ago I would have probably given the guy a load of shit, glad I chose not to

    • This coworker sent me a video about a scientist who killed people with mustard gas and it was graphic. Before I could play the video it had a warning on it saying self harm and suicidal methods are in the video.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Can I ask why you gave-in? Just playing devils advocate here, but he may argue that you gave-in so it was consensual.

    However, now that read some of your comments below regarding the photos he sent, as long as you did not reciprocate by sending him texts or photos, you could report him for harassment alone.

    You can have sex the one time, find out he's a creep and tell him to leave you alone. If he persists after that, then it is clearly harassment. You would need a clear paper trail of not only him hounding you, but you telling him to leave you alone.

    • Thanks😊

Most Helpful Girls

  • It all hinges on exactly what "mean" is. You need to be able to quantify and qualify that, and the superiors/management will decide. So make sure it's valid. Otherwise they'll find you annoying for bringing them into a personal issue that you should settle yourself. Don't make yourself look weak, or that you can't handle things. But if it's legit sexual harassment, he could be fired over this. (You "gave in" and had sex with him. That's not reflecting positively on you. But that needs to be told, if you go forward with this.)

  • I don’t know about reporting it but I would definitely rethink being with him since he doesn’t respect your boundaries and therefore you. He never will either.

    • Oops sorry didn’t see that part about coworker. Yes report it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 20

  • It's hard to tell if he's being immature and doesn't know any better, or if he's being manipulative/coercive. But he clearly does not respect boundaries and sexual harassment.

    Nobody should be touched without their consent. And not coerced into sex. Especially at work. You can report him now. At the very least, you should have a serious talk with him. Be very clear that you do not like this, and warn that you will report to HR. But absolutely report no matter what either way if he continues to do so.

  • Of course you should report him to HR. This is textbook sexual harassment.

    • The only problem is he is so manipulative. He sent me numerous sexual texts like “I know what else you can help me with ;)” and a pic of him on a bed with a blanket covering his genitals. And he had photos of me saved on his phone.

  • I'm concerned mostly with the first part. Did you have attraction to this guy and considered sleeping with him and he did the things to get you to do it? Or did you not want to but felt pressured to do so? If it's the latter then that is WILDLY inappropriate and is the more important concern in all of this.

    As for the "mean" part... I'd need more details. There could be the chance that he doesn't realize he's being mean. Or maybe he does. I'd need more details.

  • That's sexual harassment... report it to your boss and your HR,

  • if was was during work then yes.
    I'm not sure what can be done if you willingly had sex with him.
    The pressure applied to you while at work was wrong.
    My though would be so what if he was mad at you unless he held a higher position than you in the company.
    This really might be a good question for HR.

  • Yes? How is this a question?

  • Unless you were into it, I would say it is sexual hassling.

  • Sounds like threats, sexual harassment and bullying to me. Definitely either talk to your boss or HR or even the police.

  • No, just keep letting him treat you this way 🙄
    YES!! Report it, dumb-dumb!

  • Definitely report him, he harassed you into having sex with him and was touching you inappropriately

  • 100 percent yes. That is ridiculous and unacceptable

  • yeah

  • explain to me How mean he was

    • He threatened to get me off of it and laughed at me saying this is an easy project that shouldn’t take this long.

    • oh tell ur manager to kick him out...

  • Should have reported him when he started touching.

    You can still do that, but since you actually consented to sex with him, it will most probably be an uphill battle.

    But check office policies first, get well informed and then speak up

  • Report it

  • Was it consensual?

    • The sex? He pressured me and kept touching me no matter what I told him.

  • Why didn't you report him for sexual harassment before you had sex with him

  • Yes report it, do not let yourself be treated like that

    • I’m so screwed though. He requested a lot of pictures and initiated sexual conversations with me often.

    • Did you send pics

    • And told me in person that no one should mess with him and mentioned vindictive behavior he engages in, then said he’s leaving the company in a few weeks

    • Show All

  • Sue his ass for sexual harassment you'll get paid big time

  • Yes, do it.

  • Show More (2)

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