My Husband Is A TERRIBLE Lover. What Should I Do?

[thatonetime]

My husband is amazing in every way but lacks skills in the bedroom. His penis is a bit below average size and he is very vanilla. He does not want to try anything new no matter how many times I ask. I love dominant men especially in bed and he does not take over. He is a very lazy lover and it is such a turn off. His penis gets too hard and it does not bend so it is painful to ride him. I am so horny and irritable all the time because he NEVER makes me have an orgasm. We have sex about 4-6 times a week and out of a whole year I might get off 4-10 times if I am lucky. We have been together for 4 years and married for 2 and I thought I could handle it but I am so weak that I imagine my exes sex while we are fucking to get into it. I feel horrible saying this but my exes dic was 8 inches and he had amazing stamina and he was dominant, he looked me in the eyes, we talked dirty to one another and it was so fun. What should I do?

[Poppykate]

I can really relate to this question. I had a partner who didn’t like foreplay at all, so it never happened. We tried to work on it, but it would go back to the same routine ‘get on, get off, get out’. The only good thing about it, was that it didn’t take up much of my time. Less than 10 minutes, 3-5 times weekly. But you will probably find that this will lessen as time goes on, as you won’t be bothered. I found that bad sex was an indication of a lack of chemistry. You need more then to be just ‘best friends’ with your partner. You need a fire, passion, a intimate connection to make it work, and a partner who is willing to put in effort in the bedroom.

[Paris13]

You Should have Done, hun, Thought Twice before you married Him for I am Sure you had Sex with Him Before this Marital Bedroom Door.
Work together as Two birds of a Feather or Split up and Shut up.
Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck. xx

[Soft4u]

OUCH!
Are you saying he won't try anything new or different knowing if he keeps on leaving you unsatisfied there's a good chance you guys won't have a future together?

[Soft4u]

Are you a guy or girl?

[thatonetime]

Im a girl

[Warmapplecrumble]

You should communicate your sexual interests with him.

Maybe do it while you are doing foreplay to break the ice.

[thatonetime]

Thats another thing. There is no foreplay. He doesn't know how to turn me on and when I tell him he refuses. He thinks sex means " Ok, my dick is throbbing I am just going to shove it in her and get my rocks off and go play the XBox

[Warmapplecrumble]

You need to really have a talk. This is not healthy.

[infp_libra_78]

Counselling. Take it the farthest you can. You can get it yourself fire how to approach him. You can get sex counselling for how to improve from your end, you can figure out how to work with it being "Too hard. " have you been training your pc muscles to squeeze him? That should help you. You could do sex therapy with a woman and try to sell him on that (He might think it's hot). Whatever you do, be clear that it's a big deal for you if it is. Make it a conscious decision for him about whether to meet your needs. If he loves you he should budge at least a bit

[AustinMan]

First you talk to him but try doing it the way suggested in this My Take.

How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

If after three or so tries, you're still unhappy, see a good couple's therapist who's kink friendly. There are lists on the internet of kink friendly therapists on the internet.

[TShot]

Sounds like a personal prob that you should'handle' with him... Try communication, I know it's a crazy idea

[EmmaMary]

So is this a gay marriage, or are you confused what sex/gender you are?

[thatonetime]

I am a female. I put the wrong gender

[EmmaMary]

Surprise Surprise. smh

[thatonetime]

Lol why do you say that?

[EmmaMary]

I constantly fail to see just how it's possible to put the wrong gender.

[thatonetime]

I did it to conceal myself just in case I somehow was stupid enough to leave my laptop open or something. I dont know. Id be mortified if my husband was to see this... dont wanna hurt his feelings

[EmmaMary]

Well if nothing else at least you're being honest, for which I congratulate you.

[aialex]

Is it possible he thought he's marrying a gal instead of a guy?

And now he feel cheated?

[thatonetime]

Nope. I am a girl I just put my gender as a guy I honestly dont remember why. I made this account months ago. Probably just in case lol

[aialex]

So, my next question is, how many times do you have sex with him before marriage?

[thatonetime]

We we together for a year and a half before marriage so we've had lots of sex but I thought I would be ok with him being bad in bed because I figured I could teach him or he would catch on somehow. Boy, was I wrong! I suppose this is my fault and now I am stuck. Every time I tried to leave or got onto my feet he impregnated me. We have 3 small children and I am hoping we can become more charismatic with one another

[aialex]

Who initiates the sex?

[thatonetime]

It is pretty equal but I have been initiating it lately because he is usually exhausted from working

[aialex]

Are you sure you didn't moan your ex's name in the middle of sex? And you said your husband's size is below average. How is it riding him hurt? Unless you're genetically small. Yet, you had no problem with your ex's 8 inches?

[thatonetime]

No I never moaned my exes name and it is not my husband's size that hurts it's the texture. It's too hard. It is like steel and it won't bend. I hits one spot if I am on top and feels like it is scraping the lining out of my uterus. My exes penis was hard but soft enough to allow me to maneuver with comfort

[opurba]

Watch Satyam shivam sundaram n kamasutra 😍😘😗😙😚 together. Just watch n stay calm.

[Trojan_]

Damn bro.. I'd just want you to leave that way and be a normal guy who's running after pussies but not dicks.

[thatonetime]

Im actually a woman. I put the wrong gender on here on purpose. I guess to conceal my identity or something I don't know

[Trojan_]

Ah got it haha, well sorry but your husband sounds really stupid.. and u are right to be worried. You should tell ur husband about what u feel and what u want.

[thatonetime]

I tried the other day and he got really embarrassed and upset with me. During sex I tried to put his hand on my neck and he seemed to get freaked out and threw off.

[Trojan_]

Damn.. it seems u should teach him, that's sad cause he couldn't learn it in 4 years of relationship.

[thatonetime]

I am trying but he tells me that he is not into "that type of stuff". He is much of a push over which irks me in itself but I figured it would be ok if he was at least dominant in the bedroom. You know what I mean? He thinks my kinks or sexual desires were learned elsewhere and I think that makes him insecure. I feel as though I lost so much respect for him hence I could care less to impress him anymore. I literally want to cry sometimes because I would feel so low to leave my husband over sex because I did not know that it was so important to be sexually satisfied. I am actually 22 and he is 28. I figured he'd be more experience but he isn't. I have only been with one other man but I caught on fast. I watched porn and am in touch with my sexual being. He has no confidence and it shows. I feel bad for him

[Trojan_]

Damn this guy.. ofc it wouldn't be good to leave someone over sex, because it isn't the only thing. The most important thing is getting along with each other, but still sex plays very big role in a relationship as well and u are totally right. Damn now I understand why people cheat sometimes lol.. well u should tell him and be clear about it, that u don't get satisfied and such.. u want him to be more hard on you. If he still doesn't, then seriously cheat on him lol.. he has responsibility if he is an husband and he should do it.

[thatonetime]

I cannot lie like I haven't thought about it. I cannot be around too many men. I am filled with lust and the longer time goes on I become more weak. I neeeeeddddd satisfaction. I am really good in bed; a goddess & he cramps my style because I just cannot awaken that with him