Sex advice for a thirty years old virgin first time?

I'm a thirty year old virgin. Due to religious reasons I've kept my virginity until marriage. But I will be getting married in November and I'm excitied about my wedding night but a little anxious too. What should I expect for my first time?
PS my husband to be is also a thirty year old virgin male.
Updates:
+1 y
Thanks to all of you who have responded! I'm overwhelmed by the outpouring of support! Thank you so much!
1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Good for you two, at least someone has the willpower to save it for marriage. My husband and I were each other's first, everything. We didn't quite make it to being married before we were too tempted to try it out! We were seriously engaged though.

    From a virgin : virgin perspective. Make sure that your first time is able to be a slow build up at your pace, make sure that you are ready. Extra lubrication like Astroglide or similar is your best friend, even if you are gushing with your own natural lubrication. As others have stated, no he probably won't last all that long, big deal; it might be that way because virgin girls aren't ready for a guy who lasts half an hour and gets her rubbed raw literally. It's ok if he doesn't last, just love him I and reassure him that you enjoyed the ultimate closeness that a couple can experience.

    Both if you, especially him need to understand that your wedding night you will both be so tired, read that exhausted that you may not be ready for sex. We didn't have sex on our wedding night,,,, it began as a long day especially for me, we were so exhausted all we wanted to do was sleep! That's alright too! We crawled in bed and just snuggled together, we spooned until I fell asleep (I think) and woke up snuggled together. It wasn't until like mid-morning that
    We actually had sex after we both took a wonderful bath in a tub for two, it was so relaxing and we were energized enough to enjoy ourselves. Moral of that story; don't rush into having sex right after the wedding just because you can. You have a lifetime to enjoy sex with eachother so what's the rush? It will be so much better if you wait until you're both rested and ready.

    For your own personal preparation, there is nothing wrong with learning what feels good to you beforehand. As in take matters into your own hands, learn to orgasm, what it feels like and what gets you there, what gets you turned on and really excited sexually. Some girls use their fingers to begin dialating their vaginal opening prior to their first time with a partner. This will help, especially if he continues before he enters you for the first time, it will help you to relax with something foreign in your vagina. That's the whole key to having a great first time is being able to relax when his penis enters your first time? Communication is key, if it hurts you're not ready, tell him if it does. Do something different for a while and try again later. There's no rush, it's better if you don't !

    • TY--oh my this is very comprehensive! I really appreciate this!

  • Foreplay and lots of it. He's not going to last very long the first round. He'll probably last all of 60 seconds and it's over. It may take hours for him to recuperate or fifteen minutes. And that will be your marriage for the first half a dozen (+) tries. In fact it'll take him a really good while to learn how to control it, throw it off, and stay hard longer so you can cum too. Communicate to him what works for you and try to get off before he does until he learns how to manage his orgasm. You might luck out, as some of us do, and penetration turns out to be decent, and when I say decent, I mean that you actually get to have a real orgasm from his penis alone. But if it doesn't (for you), that's (unfortunately) normal (and expected the first time).

    • Wow I pray to god that you are gold star lesbian cause your views on men are pretty deplorable :/

    • @cchris989 My formally acknowledge you as my biggest fan.

  • Don't be anxious. You both are in the same position. So, learn together. Experience together. Laugh together if the first night doesn't go as smooth as you had anticipated. Everybody's gotta start somewhere. He's going to be your partner. So, trust him, and be comfortable.

    Congrats on getting married!

    • TY!!

    • No Prob!!

Most Helpful Guys

  • We were in exactly the same position than you guys, except for getting married 'n bit sooner.

    So here are a few thoughts:

    1. Don't expect too much from the first night. It's very painful (for both of you). We had sex for about six months before I came in her for the first time.

    2. Don't try it on a bed the first time. A bed is too soft. Rather put a blanket on the carpet and do it missionary style. Or let him sit on a chair and climb onto him.

    3. Truthfully, I would recommend not having sex, especially intercourse, the first night, at all. You two are going to be tired, still stressed about the whole day and a bit intoxicated... all a recipe for terrible sex! You have the rest of your lives to catch up.

    4. Use a condom and lots of lube the first few times. Sex was very painful for me for the first few months.

    5. Don't be self conscious about your body. It's a real turn off for a guy.

    Enjoy!!

    • TY--a few of my friends recommended not having sex the first night. I really don't know if I can not do it lol but we will see it seems like great advice but my body tells me that's hard to do lol

    • Right now you really crave him! I know :-)!! But at the night you are just going to be so relieved that it's all over. Go into the night with NO expectations. If it happens, great! If you are too tired and relieved. Just tuck in and look forward to tomorrow morning... grrrrr!!

  • Not to over think it. Don't worry about anything (easier said then done but this is key). Don't worry about him seeing your body or it not being "perfect" or anything like that. He will be just as anxious as you are and self conscious also. The key for both of you is to be totally comfortable with each other (naked) and just enjoy the moment. Turn the brain off. Communicate also during sex, say what you like and don't like (same goes for him, don't be afraid to ask). Lots of people don't do this and then complain the sex is bad.

    • TY---I already know I need to work on this. I'm submissive by nature but by no means a pushover. I tend to be a bit on the quiet side but we enjoy a very healthy line of communication. I hope I'm open enough to do it in our bedroom. I really want our sex life to be vibrant and alive as much as our love

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

3 18
  • Be relaxed, do experience a lot of foreplay, and make sure he stimulates you enough that you don't have a painful experience ( or lubricant and oils) Be aware that most people will tell you that the person they loose virginity to is usually an awkward experience to say the least... but I am sure if there is love there you both will have love and patience on your side! best of luck

  • I think you should see a couple's counselor, preferably of your faith.

  • Be very patient use lubrication and lots and lots of foreplay. I mean LOTS

  • Foreplay is your friend. And lubricant, as someone else pointed out.

  • I don't see anything wrong with it. Lucky husband