Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health A friend of mine used to be very unpopular with women and was always rejected.
When he was 20 he went to a prostitute and lost his virginity there. Since then he went to prostitutes regularly, but still did his best to become more attractive to women. He started going to the gym and lost 10 kilos (22 pounds), took much better Tinder pictures, moved from his parents (from a small village) to Stuttgart (the nearest big city) in a shared flat and since then tried to meet as many people as possible.
His situation has indeed changed a lot! He is still not a womanizer, but he has managed to have many one-night stands lately.
Since a few days he has his first girlfriend and he is very happy because that is what he has always dreamed of.
When he told me that he now has a girlfriend I was very happy for him. But I asked him what he will say to his girlfriend when she asks him about his first time having sex, because in a relationship sooner or later people talk about how they lost their virginity. This made him think a lot and he didn't know if he should tell her the truth or rather not tell her about the prostitutes. He asked me what I would do:
Generally I am in favor of telling the truth. But in this case I consider a white lie legitimate. Since I am sure that for most women it would be a huge turn-off to find out that their boyfriend went to prostitutes and even lost his virginity with a prostitute, I recommended him to keep his prostitution past a secret from her. Of course he doesn't go to prostitutes anymore, because he has a girlfriend now and he is faithful to her.
Now my question: do you think he should tell the truth, or rather hide it?
By the way, prostitution is legal in my country.
Should a man lie to his girlfriend in this case?
Tonytoutouni123 Xper 6
To be honest, it would make my boyfriend less attractive to me if he had lost his virginity with a prostitute. But I probably wouldn't leave him because of that. I think your friend should tell her the truth!
Vote A
To be honest, it would make my boyfriend less attractive for me if he had lost his virginity with a prostitute and I would probably leave him because of that. Nevertheless I think your friend should tell her the truth!
Vote B
It wouldn't bother me at all and wouldn't make my boyfriend less attractive for me at all if I found out that he lost his virginity with a prostitute. I think he should tell her the truth!
Vote C
It wouldn't bother me at all and wouldn't make my boyfriend less attractive for me if I found out that he lost his virginity with a prostitute. Nevertheless I think he should lie because I think it would bother most women and I guess I am rather an exception!
Vote D
Something different (I will explain in the comments)
Vote E
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy Please select your age
1 1
What Girls & Guys Said
55 14Just tell her. I can't imagine disliking a guy because he lost his v card to a prostitute.
@lovelyhoneybones Sorry can you explain something to me cause my English is very bad: I noticed that many people commented something like: "you should do..." or like you for example: "just tell her". But it's not about me but about my friend so why do you say "just tell her" instead of "he should tell her"? Or do you mean that I should go to his girlfriend and tell her?
If you don’t understand me, never mind 😅
By the way, thanks for your opinion.
Tell her it was an ONS
@gwenhwyfar I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean, I should tell his girlfriend something?
Your friend should tell his girlfriend he lost it to an ONS
@gwenhwyfar So he should lie? Would it be a dealbreaker for you if you were his girlfriend and he would tell you the truth?
Yes. Yes. Deal breaker. Especially if he did it more than once.
Maybe once is forgivable
@gwenhwyfar Why is it a deal breaker? Is it, because you consider prostitution to be morally reprehensible or is it, that you don’t consider prostitution to be morally reprehensible but it makes a man appear less attractive if he went to prostitutes because it probably indicates that he cannot be very attractive because if he was, he wouldn’t need to go to prostitutes?
Prostitutes are sleazy
@gwenhwyfar What does sleazy mean?
Gross
But if it was one time to lose his V card I could probably forgive it
@gwenhwyfar Why do you consider prostitutes to be sleazy and gross?
Just do
@gwenhwyfar In my country there is a condom requirement, so most prostitutes do not come into contact with sperm at all. And even if they do... after a shower a prostitute is as clean as any other woman after a shower. I guess you're just a bit jealous because most prostitutes are probably much better looking than you.
Seriously? 😂
@gwenhwyfar I'm not sure. I just can't think of any other explanation. I hear very often that prostitutes were disgusting and generally bad talk about them. I always wonder what people have against them. Maybe you can tell me the reason why you have something against prostitutes. You have to admit that I'm right about them being as clean after the shower as any other woman, right?
Yeah Displaced anger. Projection.
@gwenhwyfar What do you mean?
Nvm Sorry. I just have a thing about prostitutes.
@gwenhwyfar Okay. I find it should make you wonder that you can't tell a reason why you have a problem with an entire profession. Maybe one day you can re-consider your opinion..
I have unresolved issues. I’m just disgusted by them.
@gwenhwyfar What unresolved issues do you have? Yes I can see that, but why? Why disgusted? Have you even ever seen a prostitute in real life?
Not really
@gwenhwyfar Ok, so take it from me that they are not disgusting 🙂
My BFF once told her I shouldn’t be prejudiced. That prostitutes are people too.
Once told me
Some of them are for sure, but most are not
Okay
@gwenhwyfar „Some of them are for sure, but most are not“ Just to make it sure: That was related to the statement that they are disgusting, not to the statement that they are people 😂.
@gwenhwyfar So did you change your mind, or are they somehow still disgusting in your eyes?
He should tell her the true, in this case it isn't a white lies since he will have to invent a complete story this is then a full on lies and is very bad much worse than simply saying he lost it to a prostitute. I don't really see in what it would be better to lose it a, average woman rather than a prostitute to be honest.
@alice55 He doesn't have to lie much. He only has to leave out the part with the prostitutes and instead tell about his first time with a nonprostitute. And he probably only has to tell it once. Do I understand you correct, that it wouldn’t make him less attractive that he lost it to a prostitute?
If he doesn't want to tell the truth or lie, he should tell her that he doesn't want to talk about it. Honestly, your sex life before your girlfriend or boyfriend is none of their business.
Rejection can take people to all kinds of dark places and if your friend was experiencing a lot of that, it's what drove him to seek out hookers. They made him feel good about himself. They gave him confidence. If it weren't for them, he might still be rejected and end up in a great depression. But it would be difficult for anyone to understand this unless they have a lot of life experience
Avoiding the topic is still being dishonest. The solution is that if you think you might have to lie about it later on then don’t do it 🤷🏻♀️
@julietchicago Thanks for your opinion! @yads_is_back "Avoiding the topic is still being dishonest." No, it's not, because it's none of her business. One is not obliged to talk about everything that is private. It is called: privacy. "The solution is that if you think you might have to lie about it later on then don't do it" He regrets nothing of what he has done! Why should he? 🤷♂️ It may well be that without the prostitutes he would still not have a girlfriend today. It's similar to a woman who likes to sleep with many men but wants to have a monogamous relationship one day. She probably lies about the number of her sexual partners because it is a deterrent for many men. Do you think that is not okay either? There is an evolutionary reason for this. The man subconsciously fears that the woman will not be faithful to him and then become pregnant by another man, which the man does not want under any circumstances because he wants to pass on his genes and does not want to raise another man's child.
@yads_is_back With a man it is the same, only the other way around. A man looks unattractive to women if he is a virgin. There are even 2 evolutionary reasons for this. They are called pre-selection and "sexy son theory". Women subconsciously examine a man very thoroughly on the basis of many different criteria whether he is a suitable sexual partner. Especially his behavior plays a big role. If many women sleep with a man it is like a kind of seal of approval that these women have tested the man and consider him attractive. If a woman realizes that the man is attractive to many women, it confirms that the man is a good choice. After all, the many other women cannot be wrong. Right? If instead he is a long-time virgin, the other women seem to have found something about him that indicates that he is not a suitable sexual partner. This then has a deterrent effect on the woman. She thinks that she missed something in her examination. After all, all the other women cannot be wrong, right? This is called pre-selection. Even if she would ignore the opinions of the other women (which she can't do because it's all subconsciously happening), she would still consider a male virgin unattractive, even if he was actually the perfect man. Why? Because the woman subconsciously thinks further than just one generation! She could have children with the man, but if the child becomes a boy, there is a high probability that he will show some similarity with the father. Since the father was badly received by women, the son would probably also be badly received by women and would probably not reproduce successfully. The woman would have successfully passed on her genes to the next generation, but her son would not successfully pass on the genes, so it would not do her any good.
@yads_is_back If the man is a womanizer instead, the woman will definitely want to have sex with him to get his genes, because then the son will probably also be attractive to women (in his generation) and will successfully pass the genes on. Because he is a "sexy son". That is why it is called: "sexy son theory". I don't see the reason why my friend should accept having disadvantages with women because of this vicious circle. Instead he prefers to give the impression that women have always been crazy over him 😎 and that he can make „sexy sons“ 🤣
I only read the first one, don’t care to read the rest long ones. But yeah, it’s dishonesty. And I didn’t say he regrets it; I said he obviously feels the need to keep it a secret. That’s what tells you it’s wrong right there. That’s with anything in life, not just keeping secrets from your girlfriend. If you’re not man enough to own up to it and take responsibility then you’re not man enough for me. Simple as that 👌🏼Prostitutes, on the other hand, look at how many losers they have sex with. He is one of several lol
@Yads_Is_Back avoiding the topic is not lying. What if you were raped? Does that mean you have to tell that to your new boyfriend? No. It's none of their business. And if you've slept with 200 men, that's none of their business either. Younger guys ask me out often. On the first date, they ask me how old I am. My response "if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you." Their response? They like me even more
I never said it’s lying. Show me one spot where I said that. 🤔 I said it’s still dishonesty. There are multiple forms of dishonesty. To both of the ways you mentioned - having been raped or being a whore - either is perfectly fine with telling your partner. The “kink in the hose” of this is that there are two sides to this: it’s not mandatory for the person to tell the other about this stuff, but it’s also not surprising if the other person prefers a partner who will communicate more and is more confident of their past, and therefore leaves. But there again, if it’s something you feel the need to hide then yes that’s being ashamed of it which means be smart and don’t do it in the first place. Then if you’re gonna be dishonest about it, then find a partner who doesn’t like to be straight with communication, which will usually be one who will do the same thing - be honest back to you.
Be dishonest back to you*
Because really, you say anything is not their business. “Where were you this morning?” “Oh, it’s none of your business.” I mean, since that can apply to everything, it shows a lack of wanting to communicate. As for your age, though, that’s completely different, considering how men view the age of women. Ask a whore to say that same thing about her sex life and the relevance will then be equal.
@Yads_Is_Back I don't view it as dishonestly. If you say you don't want to talk about it, it's not dishonest, it means you'd rather keep it to yourself. To me, everything you did before a real is really not their business as they weren't in your life then You also have to consider the amount of time and strength of the relationship. If this guy is on a second date with her, and he tells her he slept w hookers. She might not only leave him, but she will tell other people, then this creates gossip and can harm his reputation.
@tonytoutouni123 I don't necessarily view man whores as attractive these days. Girls will use guys they don't like for sex if they are desperate, hence the class nerd might have gotten laid more than the selective alpha
Agreed. That’s why the smart thing is not to do it in the first place 😂 It’s with anything. RESPONSIBILITY, a. k. a. being able to be held accountable. Anyways, I think you get the idea. Maybe you don’t care about taking responsibility for actions but I do. ✌🏼
That’s true too. Anybody who has sex with a prostitute, especially to lose virginity, is automatically a loser. That’s the bottom of the bottom lol There were plenty more losers in that pussy before him
@Yads_Is_Back yes honey, you shouldn't. But as you get older, life gets more complicated. If you were some dorky guy who couldn't get laid, you are gonna get lonely and you have the choice to stay lonely or go against social critisizm and get a hooker. And if that hooker gets you confidence and you get more girls, then you were better off doing that. Lonliness can drive you to all kinds of immoralities if you are in a vulnerable state of mind. For instance, I was so heartbroken over a guy that I dropped my guard, got weak, had a one night stand w a guy I met in a bar. He ended up stealing from me. Should I have brought a stranger home? No. It was my depression driving it. Would I do it again? Fuck no
@julietchicago Just our of curiosity... If your man raped and murdered a child and served prison for it yet didn’t tell you about it because it’s “none of your business,” that keeping a secret wouldn’t make a difference to you?
@Yads_Is_Back lol that's completely different. You can't compare the two. Rape and murder is universally immoral, sleeping with hookers isn't. And if you live in a major city, most guys have slept w a hooker. They just don't tell you
Ahhh so THERE is the difference. You don’t see sleeping with hookers as immoral whereas I do; it’s very immoral. This is the difference maker. :) So thanks for the view. I get you now, and it’s always nice to learn from others even if I don’t agree at all. Sorry if it was too much 😂
@Yads_Is_Back so you think sleeping w a hooker is the same as murder? Lol I have news for you sweetie, most guys have slept w hookers or would if given the chance, so sometime in your life, you will sleep w a guy who fucked a hooker
I get that most have, but you’re wrong. My fiancé has not slept with a hooker, and I know that for a fact with many ways into it. I’ve only had two partners. My first love was a virgin before me. So uhhmmm nope, you’re wrong on that one. The man I’m marrying is not a whore. He has values just as I do. He’s not one to keep secrets either because he knows I love him and he has nothing to be ashamed of. Feel free to try again though.
@Yads_Is_Back lol yeah you're 23. Just wait till they get older. If you ask a guy how many girls he slept with, he will lie. If you ask him if he's been tested, he will lie. That's why I don't bother asking. And you just proved the authors point, that his friend should keep quiet about it
Suit yourself. No, morally he should be responsible and man up to his own actions. I haven’t said or in any way implied that he should keep it a secret. I think you’re seeing it as I’m saying he should because it will cause the girl to see him the wrong way. You mentioned that well before this and I did not disagree. I mean, if you’re all for being in a relationship with not 100% free feeling communication about anything and a little dishonesty is needed then by all means go for it. That doesn’t make it right, or acceptable to people who respect themselves and demand a higher-value individual (an honest person who can do better than a hooker lol). So... just depends on which one you are. If he’s on the low end then it doesn’t really matter what he does. He won’t have a very successful relationship like that anyway.
@Yads_Is_Back some girls will view sleeping with a hooker as a bad thing and some won't. It doesn't necessarily make that guy low value. In my opinion, it's no different than having a one nighter w a girl from the bar. Trump has slept w hookers, so has Clinton. Women still date them. But regardless of your view, saying you don't want to talk about it isn't dishonest. The girl then has the choice to leave it alone or inquire
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/dishonest
“proceeding from or exhibiting lack of honesty”
Honest: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/honesty
“truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.”
Frankness:
https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/frankness
“the quality of being honest and straightforward in attitude and speech” “and “the trait of being blunt and outspoken”
Yes ma’am, it’s dishonest. The dictionary even says so. So you don’t even need to take my word for it. Ask Webster :)
This one is more clear, in case you don’t want to put all that together: www.google.com/.../deceitful
Deceitful is a synonym, and it means “hiding the truth” 🤔
@Yads_Is_Back lol I don't need the vocabulary lesson. You are interpreting honesty based on your own bias. If he said he never slept with hookers, that's dishonesty. If he says he doesn't want to talk about his sex life, it's not dishonest. It means he doesn't want to talk about it, just like my example with my age. To you it's dishonesty because to you, sleeping with a hooker holds the same weight as murdering someone. Just because you interpret it that way doesn't make it a fact.
Looks like the Dictionary does too, so THAT is what makes it a fact. Yes ma’am, it does. It’s not biased when it’s in the dictionary in black and white. I didn’t wrote the dictionary, and the dictionary is universal. Thank you :)
@Yads_Is_Back it's not in the dictionary. The dictionary, according to your link, says "exhibiting lack of honesty," it doesn't not say telling someone it's none of their business when asked a question. Like I said before, you are interpreting the meaning based on your own biases
LOL it’s there in black and white. Click on it and read it. Especially the last one because it says “hiding the truth”. Since you want to make it complicated (when anybody can just click on it and see), use all the links and put them together. Lack of “honesty” then look at what honesty is, then frankness. Again, if you’re not smart enough to put them together, just use the last one. Anybody can do that lol It’s undoubtedly there. You know, I was enjoying this debate at first, but when the person turns out to be stupid it gets kind of boring 😂 Yes, my friend, it’s there smh. That’s especially given by how you picked one link and avoided the rest. You’re being stubborn and trying to blame it on me, making yourself look dumb in the process. They teach you how to look at synonyms in what, 2nd grade? Maybe 3rd?
Since you can’t read the dictionary:
www.google.com/.../
www.google.com/.../understanding-lying-and-secret-keeping-in%3famp
www.google.com/.../how-secrets-and-lies-destroy-relationships%3famp
“Honesty is more than simply not lying. Deception includes making ambiguous or vague statements, telling half-truths, manipulating information through emphasis, exaggeration, or minimization, and withholding feelings or information that is important to someone who has a right to know, because it affects the relationship and deprives that person of freedom of choice and informed action. Although we may consider ourselves honest, few of us reveal all our negative thoughts and feelings about the people we are close to. It requires courage to be vulnerable and authentic.”
Professional psychologists write the Psychology Today articles. You gonna say they’re wrong too, because they also prove me right? 😂
americanbrainsociety.org/.../
There is actually mental illness in silence... Okay, this might explain a lot here 🤣
And with my point being perfectly proven, by both the dictionary and also psychology, I’m going to let you decide whether to take it understandingly or take it up the ass, because either way you take it is your decision and not mine. Doesn’t change the facts. So good luck and hasta luego ✌🏼
@Yads_Is_Back lol no you don't like debating, you like fighting. I have read your little links and nowhere does it say telling someone you don't want to talk about it is lying. Just like if we were in court and I plead the fifth and remain silent. If that were considered lying, the person would be breaking the oath and convicted of perjury. You are still young so you lack critical thinking skills. Please don't try to become a lawyer, you won't even pass the LSATs with the faulty logic you are throwing out there.
@yads_is_back I already thought that you would not read it. Anything that requires the brain to do some work is beyond you. You wouldn't be capable of understanding it anyway. What you just don't understand is that HE DID NOTHING WRONG! The problem lies with his girlfriend! She probably doesn't understand that he is not at all a worse boyfriend because of that. Therefore it is legitimate that he lies. "Anybody who has sex with a prostitute, especially to lose virginity, is automatically a loser." So Dan Bilzerian is a loser in your eyes? Ha-ha-ha. Let me tell you a secret: almost every successful businessman fucks hookers. You called my friend a loser. He has slept for years with countless women who are incredibly attractive! He lost his virginity with the hottest woman on the planet earth. We almost fainted from arousal when we saw her. He was very nervous but we persuaded him to fuck her 💪! We even paid for him 👌 we are really good friends 🙂 He would not even look for a second at a woman who is as ugly on the outside and inside as you are. So tell me, who is the loser? 🤷♂️🤷♂️ A loser is someone who is so desperate to have sex but because of some immoral bullshit is to pussy to fuck prostitutes so he decides to rather fuck ugly women like you. I have never seen anyone as childish as you with your 1000 definitions. Why don't you form your own opinion instead of learning definitions by heart 🤦♂️ There are moments when you are not obliged to reveal anything about yourself! You call it "dishonest" I call it "privacy" By the way: You're a quite naive dummy if you believe everything a man who wants to fuck you says 😂 It is frightening how stupid you are. Now go and spread your legs for some losers.
@tonytoutouni123 she just shows how naive she is. She thinks everything is either right or wrong, immoral or moral with no middle area. I would never date Dan blazerio bc I know he is a womanizer and he actively fucks hookers, but a guy who slept w hookers to raise his self-confidence is completely different. So what about old men who can't get laid anymore and they have to be around their married friends. Are they not allowed to fuck hookers bc it is immoral, yet everyone else gets to have sex with their wives. Should he live in solitude just so he doesn't get stigmatized by society?
@yads_is_back You have my permission to leave the discussion now
@julietchicago „hence the class nerd might have gotten laid more than the selective alpha“ I highly doubt that.
Sometimes it's true. Alphas are usually picky who they sleep with. Nerds aren't.
@yads_is_back PS: i would be curious to here one single reason why voluntarily practiced prostitution should be morally reprehensible? I hear 👂? There is none.
@julietchicago "she just shows how naive she is. She thinks everything is either right or wrong, immoral or moral with no middle area. To be honest I also think that in this case there is no middle area. In my opinion prostitution is not immoral at all. "I would never date Dan blazerio bc I know he is a womanizer and he actively fucks hookers," So what? What do you think is wrong with doing so? By the way, he claims that he doesn't bang hookers because he is turned off by the idea that a woman sleeps with him even though she doesn't find him attractive. He only slept with about 30 hookers. "So what about old men who can't get laid anymore and they have to be around their married friends." Why do you think it is okay for an old man, but wrong for Dan Bilzerian?
And yes, alphas are picky because they can be. Nerds can’t. If nerds could be picky they would also be.
Exactly. I've only dated alphas. They don't go to prostitutes bc they don't have to. That's why I don't shame a guy if he has to. He doesn't have many options and everyone deserves affection
@julietchicago We have different opinions about the Dan bilzerian topic, but it seems that you are a kind person 🙂
Yes, I hate him lol, but we are entitled to our opinions
If he doesn't tell the truth, he doesn't want the relationship to work. We are all looking for a person with the same values and morals as us; if a man went to prostitutes there is no way in hell I would marry him, so why waste anyones time? One day (it might even be this current girlfriend) he will meet a woman who he can be 100% honest with and that shares the same values and beliefs as him. It's not fair to her, to build a false image of himself. If he wants to find the one and be in a lifelong happy relationship, he needs to own his past and be extremely honest about it.
@bakingperfectionist „if a man went to prostitutes there is no way in hell I would marry him“ Fair enough. But why is that? „It's not fair to her, to build a false image of himself. If he wants to find the one and be in a lifelong happy relationship, he needs to own his past and be extremely honest about it.“ But what about privacy? I think one should be allowed to keep a little privacy - even in a relationship. Why does he has to tell the truth? It is obvious that it would just makes him unattractive.. And his past doesn’t influence his capability of being a good boyfriend/husband so I don’t think he has to tell her the truth.
No, don’t lie
@davidfox Why does she need to know that he fucked prostitutes in the past? It is his past and in my opinion everyone should be allowed to keep some privacy in a relationship. It doesn’t make him to be a worse boyfriend at all, so why does she need to know? She would definitely see him with different eyes afterwards and less attractive (even if only subconsciously)
I didn’t read her details, just answered the question.
I would rather here the truth.
I would lk to know we can tell each other anything.
@jcnum10 And you wouldn’t leave him?
As long as he disease free. Don't care
@jcnum10 You literally don’t care? Not at all? But he would seemed less attractive, right?
I'd like to know the truth.
@josyjosy And how would you react when he tells you the truth?
It wouldn't be a dealbreaker, I'd be a bit disappointed though
@josyjosy Is it, because you consider prostitution to be morally reprehensible or is it, that you don’t consider prostitution to be morally reprehensible but it makes a man appear less attractive if he went to prostitutes because it probably indicates that he cannot be very attractive because if he was, he wouldn’t need to go to prostitutes? Or what is the reason you would be a bit disappointed?
Like if I find the guy attractive, I find it a pity that such a man thought that the only way to have sex was through paying
@josyjosy Well, the problem is, it was the only way back then 😅. Imagine he were a very good-looking businessman, who has one night stands all the time and who women totally go for. But since he is very busy, he books escort women to his hotel suite every now and then on business trips (when he has too little time to approach a woman) to have sex with them. Would that also bother you or would you don't care?
Like I said before, my 'care' wouldn't go as far as being disappointed but that's about it
He should be telling her the truth and tbh there's nothing wrong at all in having sex with a prostitute specially when its legal in your country
I am a prostitute myself and i can tell you many guys come to us to try new things before they do it with their girlfriend or wife and many guys loose their virginity to us
And for a girl i think it is more imp that her boyfriend shouldn't be a cheater n it is much better to have done it with a prostitute coz this is her business n he would have no responsibility whereas with a girl she would ask many more questions why he broke with her n so on...
Prostitutes are the social workers of society tbh
@elizamichale1 I also think there is nothing wrong with going to a prostitute. But some girlfriends have a problem with it. But if she has a problem with prostitution, she probably isn't the right one for him anyway, because they would have too different mentalities... But even if she doesn't have a problem with prostitution, I think it would make him appear less attractive because it shows that he hasn't been capable of having sex without paying money. It suggests to her that he generally seems unattractive to women (which was true in the past). It could be like a red flag for his girlfriend and signal that something might be wrong with him. They have only been together for a short time. Until now, she probably thinks that he has always been popular with women because that's what he radiates nowadays. She does not know that he used to be rather shy. I once read an theory. It is called "sexy son hypothesize" It says that a woman is less interested in a man if he is unpopular with other women, because if she were to have a son with him, the son would probably resemble the father in some way and would therefore probably also be rather unattractive to women and would be less likely to reproduce. So her genes spread better when she chooses a man that is perceived as attractive by other women because she then has a "sexy son". I know it's only a theory and can't be taken as granted, but I guess there might be some truth to it. There are tests that show that a man is more attractive to a woman when she notices that other women are also interested in him. Do you nevertheless think that he should tell the truth?
Being truthful is always better honey
@elizamichale1 Thanks for your opinion Eliza! My opinion has changed and I will tell him although I don't think his opinion will change..
Well we just need to give it a try honey... it may work and it may not...
Hello, can you please follow me. :) Danke schon
unless its your sister mind your business.
Sry I didn’t understand what you are saying. What do you mean? His girlfriend is not my sister.
These things have a way of working themselves out
I would not leave him because of that nor feel less attracted to him. There are a lot of people who don't go to prostitutes and yet are a lot more promiscuous and more irresponsible. I'm okay as long as he gets tested for any STI before we become intimate.
And he should be honest. If she leaves then she isn't the right for him.
@pleasestopthis Thanks for your opinion.
Tell her the truth.
Firstly, a relationship is built on trust, so lies won't help in the ling terms.
Secondly, she's already had sex with him and vetted him as her boyfriend. Even if she's hurt, grossed out or disappointed, she'll get over it because she knows him better than to judge him by other women. It's only an issue when you're already single, because things like that is what women use to judge you're desirability; ie; "if he has to pay for sex, what is wrong with him that so many other women reject him?". If she's already made him her boyfriend then she already knows why he had a bad start, and hence ultimately won't care.
@david_kek Thanks for your opinion. Sad that I cannot give you mho anymore
tell her the truth ik people whos done it with prostitutes cause they thought they’ll never lose their v card and it’s totally normal
Okay, so first of all tell this person in question to get a complete check-up for all std's (and hiv , herpes, hepatitis etc) if he hasn't done already. If you live a certain lifestyle, such as sleeping with hookers or sleeping with multiple easy women, and you decide to get into a relationship with someone who is more serious and didn't live that way, it is your responsibility to get checked up and not pass anything onto them. because the other person may not even think about your past and expect you to have lived like they did. As far as prostitutes and easy women go, i think that they made their own choices and can deal with their own consequences. But that's different from the average person who has a lot more self-restraint.
With that out of the way, he definitely should not tell her about the prostitutes. Because women will never understand it. Going to a prostitute does not have any merit for women and only has a lot of negatives. Nowadays, most women do simply not understand why men even do it. So trying to explain this to a woman is like trying to explain to a dolphin how you had to take swimming classes in order to be able to swim/play with the dolphin right now. First of all the dolphin doesn't speak your language. Secondly, that doesn't mean anything to the dolphin and if anything makes you look weak and pathetic. the dolphin was swimming since it was born. and you had to take lessons as an adult?
Lets look at at the negatives and positives:
The positive:
-you can feel slightly better about sharing about your past with your partner. for a little while.
The negatives:
-She will lose some respect for you and therefore some attraction to you
-She might wonder if you caught diseases
-She will think that something might be wrong with you since you had to pay for sex ( which is something that she can get for free anytime she wants).
-She will use this as a leverage over you in future arguments and disputes ( women can forgive you but they won't forget information that they can and WILL use against you later)
-This is not always the case but some girls will leave you for this.
If you tell a woman that loves you that did this the only good thing is that you opened up to her, but later on this will just make the both of you feel bad.
As a man , and knowing quite a few men who regularly sleep with prostitutes , i know that that doesn't really define your character or value. I personally would describe some players ( who just play the field) as way more sleazy and less honourable than most "johns" that i know. but women don't see it that way. So don't listen to the women here, this guy needs a check-up and if he is clear he is good.
@startingfitness Thanks for your opinion. I guess we have the same opinion, (although I am not 100% sure about mine, because if she will be the woman of his life, she should take him as he is) besides the std checkups. He always used a condom and was very cautious about STDs. One time, he panicked afterwards because he touched the vagina of the prostitute with his hand and he had a very very little injury on his finger that was healed already. No blood at all, just a very little scar. But he feared that he might have gotten hiv 🤦♂️😂
You should always be honest with your partner if this girl truly loves him she'll understand or at very least try to move past it
Thanks for your opinion!
Any man who wants a girl to chase him and make it easy for him must lie. There is no other way. You can be honest with your friends but you can never ve honest with females. You must play with her insecurities in order to make stick to you if you want something long term.
I predominantly agree
Why do you have to lie about who you are? Whether it is to a prostitute or any other person it is a part of who you are. If you can show that after all of your experiences that you have changed and that you are willing to better yourself and learn from your mistakes that is that matters.
@COMMODOREII Why do you consider going to a prostitute as a mistake? Because he definitely does not! He does not regret at all what he has done. Why should he?
Whether or not she would think less or more of him is completely and totally besides the point. To enter a relationship with somebody, a romantic relationship, and lie about your sexual past is just so, so wrong. It's probably the single most important thing not to lie about.
People who don't wanna share, well that tells me all I need to know about them. They can find someone who doesn't care about their partner's past and see what else that lack of care manifests for their relationship
@shamalien Why do you consider it to be wrong? Why does she need to know that he fucked prostitutes in the past? It is his past and in my opinion everyone should be allowed to keep some privacy. It doesn’t make him to be a worse boyfriend at all, so why does she need to know? She would definitely see him with different eyes afterwards and less attractive (even if only subconsciously)
Don't tell her shit.
@krakenattackin Sry my English is very bad. Does „ don’t tell her shit“ means: 1. don’t lie Or does it mean: 2. don’t tell her anything at all. (So keep the secret)
Don't tell her anything. Telling her you went to hookers will forever give her leverage over you. Do not tell her.