Should I stay friends with a girl I love?

I've been dating and sleeping with a girl for 2 months, sleeping over at least twice a week. Message every day. Been to gigs, shows, heaps of things. I haven't felt this close to someone for over 15 years, closer than my last two relationships. I have definitely fallen in love with her but haven't told her.

I'm experienced and good in bed and I've had situationships in the past where women want to keep seeing me for sex but I ended it when they admit they don't see as having any potential for something serious down the line.

I thought it was all going well until Tue evening when she was staying over at mine. In fact I was thinking of asking her to be my girlfriend and make it official once we reach the 2 month mark. But she said outright that it seems I'm much more into her than she is into me and that she is still figuring us out and where we're at. And she said she finds it off-putting when someone likes her more than she likes them. She herself said that she has some autism traits, being blunt is one of them.

This is where it went downhill. We had been drinking wine. I ask her how much she does like me at this point. She literally pauses for almost a minute! Opening her mouth like she is about to speak and then closing it. Like she is really thinking hard about how to phrase things. Then says she isn't comfortable being made to answer. So I don't push her and tell her we can just watch TV and she doesn't need to answer.

After one episode of silence she turns to me and says "I like you" but doesn't want to talk or engage further. We have sex, with me just focusing on her so she reaches orgasm, and we go to sleep.

The next day once she leaves for work she messages saying she doesn't see us moving to a relationship and working as a couple and wants to just be friends. She wants to go to see a play with me on Friday still and says she really likes my company.

I said yes as I can't let her go. And is there hope that I can change her mind? Or should I cut her off
Updates:
+1 y
Update, I originally told her I couldn't just be friends as I have fallen in love with her so it would be too hard. But then changed my mind and said I'd give it a go. So she does know that I love her.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • You’re strange. Most guys that are already having sex with a girl don’t want a relationship. Anyway, just don’t be available to her as much as look for others while also keeping her around for sex, she’ll probably look at you differently then.

    • as much and look**

    • I get that most guys are like that but I don't have a problem sleeping with people, just the other week someone from last year wanted to hook up again, I don't hardly have to try to get laid. But she was more than that, she just got me and we had a laugh. I was told by people that I'm out of her league anyway and why would I want to be with someone overweight but she's just the most confident and amazing person I've met, so hot, ridiculously clever, got her shit together with a good job, funny as hell, bit of a nerd, basically not like any other girl I've met. Usually I'm cool and casual around girls but with her I had butterflies and crazy emotions. Thing is as soon as I have sex elsewhere she will stop sleeping with me as she's mature and sensible about std's etc. That's even assuming she will want to continue casual. She has strong willpower.

    • I’m not saying to have sex with other people. I’m saying to look for a relationship and date while using her. And if you were out of her league, I’m sure she wouldn’t have turned you down for a relationship. Maybe you’re not as great as you think you are. No offense.

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  • Unfortunately you can't force anyone to love you or be in a relationship with you, if they don't want that
    Having said that, if you feel you can handle just being friends, then it's up to you

    • Thank you for MHO :)

Most Helpful Guys

  • Uf she doesn't see a relationship developing with you then it probably won't. If you stay together though, you may still have sex.

  • Depends on whether you can handle those parameters. I suspect you can’t for long since it’s not what you want

    • Thanks for the mho

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I know what’s going on…

    • What?

    • If you go to religion section, I have a post that explains, by Neurological Science what is and has happened to your lady friend that you’re developing a heart for… I’ll update it. It’s got what does God, Neuro Science and Culture say about Promiscuity. BEFORE, reading that the Male and Female Intelligent Design needs to be grasped. It’s like Step One: -Man: Sex, whether good or not, is how we typically form attachment. Sex leads to emotional connection…from Bar Banger to Connected too…Girlfriend thought. The other question in Religion section tells Brain/Body explanation. —Female: In most cases, unless described Science in Religious question is already in place, the woman requires Emotional Connection prior to sexual intercourse. It sounds like you case is different and it’s better for the Neuro Sciences medical research to explain than I. YOUR Experience s so common…it’s why I started looking into the Subject area. Please put your post on my question as example of the Scientific Findings. The MD’s book are full of examples similar to you… —Whether you succeed or fail in this relationship venture, you’re going to need to know Why‼️ I’m almost 100% sure it’s not you…BUT, your Experience posted will help EVERYONE finding themselves in your position. Guys are the ones suffering the most.

    • You need too read the Neurological Science on other Question in Religion. It’s clearer. Post your experience you wrote here, there please. There’s tons of examples like yours in their research book BUT it explains anatomically what’s happening and it’s expression in Relationship. —It’s so common among my friends too. It’s NOT Simple. You will have to slow down IF you want to know WHY and WHAT to look for before you get to the “think I’m catching feelings-Girlfriend” Stage. Work through the my responses here. 70% of my guy friends, Internationally, have had your Experience and have both read and applied the combined Neurological and Relationship research.

  • Yes go ahead. be a pathetic loser cuck.

    • Can you expand your view a bit? Interested to hear where you're coming from. Be as blunt as you like

  • I'm sorry this is happening to you but the upside is that it may turn into a Friends with Benefits relationship. That isn't all bad.