Should sex be expected?

Question

If you’re married or in a relationship, should sex be an unwritten rule?

motownplayer2000 · Accepted Answer

Expected. Yes. That is the major benefit (among other things), of being in a relationship or married. Literally everything else (companionship, adventure, etc…) all that can be done without have any commitment involved. The only thing and most vulnerable things that happen in those parameters is trust and sexual activity. So yes, that is a must. I see people here that say sex shouldn’t be forced. And that’s absolutely correct. But a person also shouldn’t have to feel bad or shamed if he or she leaves someone for lack of sex. People say, sex isn’t the only thing in a relationship, or even the most important. And sure you can see it that way. But with all the shit I have to put up with, with that other person, some kind of pleasure should be expected from them. And that goes both ways. But yes, to answer your question in relationships like that, it should be expected.

TCredo · Accepted Answer

Thought provoking question... The definition of expected is "regarded as likely; anticipated" - in that literal definition, yes, for me in my marriage sex is regarded as likely and anticipated. That does not mean she is required or I demand etc. which is often the connotation "expected" suggests.

There are times she doesn't feel like it - and that is understandable and not a problem.

That said, if she never or rarely felt like it... then it would become problematic as I feel physical intimacy is important to a relationship - which she's known about since we dated - and she feels the same.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

Nobody should ever force you to have sex when you don’t want to. If you’re in a relationship, it’s okay to wait till marriage. But if you’re married and you never wanna have sex with your partner, they’ll probably divorce you unless you’re both ace.

JessicaEarl · Accepted Answer

Shouldn’t be expected necessarily…. but a good sex life should be the goal. A balance to make you both happy. So if you want to be in a relationship w/ no sex, you’re basically asking your partner to give up their sexuality. Not fair.

Gremlinimo · Answer

Expected maybe. It's difficult to have that close, intimate bond without it, not impossible, but difficult. And don't forget the health reasons for having good sex, clearing your mind, floods of endorphins/happy emotions etc. Notice i said "good" sex. No point if it's just stick it in and wiggle it for 30 seconds.

DaveJord · Answer

Yup absolutely, I am not dating a women in serious committed relationship without having sex first. And if she is not into putting out the effort then I am not really going to be very committed. I am a man and I got needs.

Guy13 · Answer

Yes and it is written in the Bible as such !!

Lliam · Answer

Of course. Both people in the relationship should be eager for sex, not as an obligation, but as a really fun thing that men and women enjoy doing together.

I wouldn't be in a relationship in which my partner had a low libido and begrudged sex. We just wouldn't be a match.

Katie1964 · Answer

Yes.

loveslave · Answer

yes. sex is important to me.

Mortdikeuu · Answer

If your partner withholds sex on purpose. It could be a form of control. Also sex is a basic need in maslows pyramid. Your partner might be wanting to keep you on thus low rung so you don't grow or achieve enlightenment.

Berethor · Answer

Sure what the point of having a relationship without it? no matter what asexuals say. :)

jshm2 · Answer

Looks like you missed the class on consent, deary.

ARWINGx1 · Answer

To me: Talking about/Mentioning Sex in general? Yes. Having Sex? Whenever both are comfortable and ready for it.

LiamSawyer · Answer

I would think that partners that are married or in a long term committed relationship should feel that they want to please and pleasure their partner in all ways including sexually.

Th3ft · Answer

Yeah I wouldn’t say you should force anyone and you certainly shouldn’t go around trying to hump your girl every time you get the urge and expect that she will like it or allow it. But you should be able to expect that she wants to give to you as much as you want to give to her and that you can just need to talk about what you want.

Dargil · Answer

If you are married, sex is expected. Not every day and not necessarily the full menu. But despite Feminist angst, some degree of sexuality is pretty much mandatory unless partners agree to forego it, which often happens among the old.

RavVid · Answer

Absolutely! If you are sleeping in the same bed you have a pass.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

It's not an obligation, but why would you not want to partake. Sex is enjoyable so why not experience it as often as possible?

talka20 · Answer

Married then yes

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Eh... I think women who weaponize sex are complete fools, but I also don't think men should expect sex either.

jamiexoxo · Answer

i'd make it compulsory

ArtemisSilver · Answer

It's just another need you're supposed to help the other person you care about fulfill.

Andres77 · Answer

Hoped for, every time though is a case by case basis

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