Threesome fans, kissing or not?

[VirginiaBeachBum]

One of the taboos in the multiple partner sex lifestyle is kissing. There are a lot of couple who engage in full swap, where the third person in bed is allowed to do everything with the couple, except kissing. They say it's reserved for the couple. But there are those who view kissing as just a warm up to much more and have no problem with it happening. I count myself in the latter camp.

If you have ever had or fantasied about a threesome (whichever gender combination you envision), what are/would be your rules about kissing the third person?

[redeyemindtricks]

I've had MFM's. I literally can't *imagine* how that would work without lustful, uninhibited kissing.

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First... I mean... the whole point is that I want to be *overwhelmed* by four hands, two mouths, and two hard bodies. I want ALL of them... all of both men, all mine, all on me, all in me. ALL of me.
The point is for them to completely lose themselves to their lust... to where they literally can't help themselves. Strip me grab me grope me share me slam me fuck me... and kiss me. Kiss me long and deep and hard. Lust for me. WANT me.

... ahem where was I...

There's no way that would work with some bright-line prohibition on something as natural as kissing. You can't just remove kissing from the equation, in perfect isolation, while keeping everything else the same... if you tried, it would absolutely put a damper on EVERYTHING. Because EVERYTHING would feel... restricted. Incomplete. Thwarted.
It's all or nothing.

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Second... A kiss is a lover's equivalent of a handshake. It's an introduction, a rite of passage, and something that communicates more than you'd ever think it would at first.
It tells me EVERYTHING about how -- or whether -- a boy is gna satisfy me. It's irreplaceable. It's where lovers' rhythms sync up. It's the first step in a beautiful ballroom dance. Without it, you're trying to start a dance right in the middle.

In lots of my favorite fantasies, a kiss is the ONLY way I "meet" a lover -- and it's still a more than adequate introduction.
Like the fantasy I wrote here:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2063017-what-s-your-sexual-fantasy

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I've never had a threesome in a serious relationship, so I've never had to navigate those choppy waters. But unless it were something *very* specific (like, say, I was blindfolded, and one of the two partners just took me from behind without me ever seeing or tasting him), I'd rather forgo the experience altogether than try to do it without kissing.

Besides, if you're already sharing yr whole body, it's strange to think there's any significance in keeping yr tongues away from each other.
Honestly, I almost feel sorry for anyone who thinks a no-kissing rule would even work -- since that means they've never experienced that overwhelming lust that I'm talking about.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

I think you may have hit on something with this line: "In lots of my favorite fantasies, a kiss is the ONLY way I "meet" a lover -- and it's still a more than adequate introduction." You referred to the person as a lover. I think that could be the issue with many people who don't want their partner kissing the third person, as it looks more like making love than just sex. My wife and I had a MFM thing going with a guy for a while and I always viewed her as having a husband (me) and a lover (him). So their kissing, which happened first and in public, never bothered me. It was exciting because I knew it was building towards our mutual goal. I couldn't imagine myself or expect my partner to have intercourse with a person, but be unwilling to kiss them. Thanks for the opinion and the read of your fantasy!

[redeyemindtricks]

You're welcome.

I mean... I suppose this all comes down to whose pleasure -- and what *kind* of pleasure -- is ultimately the goal.
It's easy -- and simplistic -- to just say "Well, duh, both people's pleasure is the goal", but that isn't necessarily true. And even if it *is* true, it sometimes isn't true in its most obvious interpretation (for instance, a submissive partner might get off harder from the *denial* of pleasure than from directly experiencing pleasure itself).

For instance, I also have plenty of fantasies like this one:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1842907-just-how-high-is-you-sex-drive

... In which kissing would obviously be totally anticlimactic, and would compromise (if not outright ruin) the whole thing.
In those fantasies, the whole point is that I'm nothing more than a toy to be used. And obviously no one wants to kiss a used toy... <3 ahah

Although those kinds of fantasies -- in

[redeyemindtricks]

my formulation, at least -- don't ever involve physical contact with the other participants. (Not a coincidence that all those toys are involved.) In general, it comes back to what I said about "all or nothing" again. It's either zero physical contact with the others... or *everything*.

[redeyemindtricks]

Tx for the MH luv <3

[Nariwa]

honestly I don't know how I feel about it. I've never had a threesome while being in a relationship and while being single I don't really care about it. I guess I'd be okay but I'm not sure

[OlderAndWiser]

I do not want a threesome. If my girlfriend wanted a FFM, I would at least consider it but I would never consider a FMM. If she wants to kiss another girl as part of that experience, okay, but. . . I just see too much potential for a relationship developing problems of jealousy after a threesome, so it would probably never happen.

[NJ_Casanova]

Only had a FFM threesome and it was with her girl friend so I was ok with them making out.

[johnmsk]

if its a MFF i dont mind. if its a MMF, then i dont like him kissing her or even entering her

[VirginiaBeachBum]

So, if it's MFM, what would you like her to do? Or are you just not down for that at all?

[johnmsk]

just oral sex.. blowjobs and the guy can lick her..

[annsigbritt]

not my thing... i don't share!.. but to each their own.