Tips for an older guy in a marriage that just became "open"?

[nolabels]

Where do I start? My local bar? I never was a "bar" kind of guy, but I'm horny as hell.

I'm married but haven't been laid in 25 years.

My only now-grown child just moved out.

Last night, I told my wife that I've had it with having no sex, and that with her OK, I'm going to go find somebody with which to be physical. She said to do what I need to do.

She's post-menopausal, has had a hysterectomy, and has had no interest in sex except to get a sperm donation from me in order to get pregnant, something that I was vehemently against and that she knew before marriage.

So, where to go from here...

[BoopBoopBeep]

Bars are worthless. Clubs, common interest activities, things like that. Find a charity you believe in, volunteer there, meet somebody, get laid. Charity runs (5k and the like) even if you don't volunteer... do enough of them you see the same people... things work out. Meetups is pretty good too.

[nolabels]

Thanks for the suggestions, Boop. How was the recon yesterday? I was thinking about you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It was good man! better OUT than coming back. Sun was up by then. Ended up going too far. 14.5 miles instead of 13.1 though because I couldn't tell where I was and GPS was just spinning... but... you know ;)

[nolabels]

That's cool. I hate it when the GPS is just spinning. Or was it you that was spinning from having gone out too far? Lol.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Haha guess they made the levee outta giant magnets or something. I learned that i do certainly prefer winter races to summer ones. The body armor keeps you warm, but it's also like walking in a terrarium. At least in Iraq and to a lesser extent Afghanistan, the humidity was low enough that you could open it up and dry off soon. 4th of July weekend I have 4 or 5 races. Going to lose gallons of sweat over that crap.

[nolabels]

Your levee comment may not be out of line, although GPS doesn't work like a compass does. Interesting. I used to go "geocaching" with my son 15 years ago or so and found the GPS to be pretty wonky in certain areas. I guess a GPS engineer or tech could speak to that. That subject is a bit above my pay grade, or at least lateral to my skill sets. Be safe in your training and in competition. 👍

[BoopBoopBeep]

Correct, doesn't work like a compass, but can interfere with the signal.

www.drbakstmagnetics.com/.../

Thanks buddy. You be safe too. In all the stuff you have going on. I mean that.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It's funny it wasn't until now that I realized this was YOUR question... Just thought we'd hijacked another thread. In THAT case, congrats are in order buddy. This has been a long time coming and I'm happy for you. (I also retract the part about going to do a 5k... but the charity/group thing still counts)

[nolabels]

Yep, it's my question. Thanks for the support. Regarding magnetics on affecting GPS, thanks for the link. I had wondered at the reasoning for wonky, anomalous GPS service. I never took the time to explore the subject. It's interesting to me, but then I find many things to be interesting. Have you ever tried dowsing? Years ago, a plumber friend of mine got me to try dowsing. He was searching for an underground, 24" concrete sewer line and asked my assistance in doing so. He got out two simple wire clothes hangers that had been fashioned into dowsing rods and went to "dowsing". I told him he was nuts to trust dowsing rods (He wasn't). He got a couple of "hits". I then said that I'd quit watching him for a little bit and then I'd try it myself, sort of as an experiment in testing its effectiveness. Well, long story short, I now dowse myself when I need to and occasionally dowse just for fun to show people that it works. Don't ask me how it does, though. I can only guess that there is an alignment of electrical currents, with the magnetic fields that surround them then affecting my dowsing rods. I can find water lines, electric, communications, sewers, lots of stuff that travels in definable lines. I can't find just clumps of stuff. It has to be linear targets. I can't find gold, either. I least I haven't yet. Lol. It sometimes makes for a fun, backyard party show, when circumstances are right. In recent years, I've seen a guy who works for my local water department using dowsing rods as he goes about his business in our neighborhoods. I've talked to him about it. He doesn't think about how it works. He just knows that it does. Pretty cool, I think. Cheers to ya!!!

[BoopBoopBeep]

Haha you should look on nextdoor for hot women who need lines found then go draw on your super powers to find it for her.

[nolabels]

Now that's thinking "outside " the box as a means of finding a way to get "inside" her "box", so to speak.

[FunkyMonkee]

Start slow, are there any sheep around?

[nolabels]

My boots are at the ready for when that opportunity presents itself. I don't know if it's legal in my state. I may have to cross a political boundary line in order to partake without worrying about Johnny Law.

[FunkyMonkee]

From what I hear, it's not ba-a-a-a-a-d but, the best way to shag a sheep is to take up to a cliff and have it face over the edge. The more you thrust it forward, the more it's gonna push back. Just a helpful hint.!

[nolabels]

The cliff thing sounds good. I wouldn't need my boots to stick its back legs into to hold it in place. I'll hang on to my boots though, because cliffs aren't always readily available. If I were industrious, I could build a sheep-doing platform, high enough to induce the needed fear to provide the desired back thrust. I'm not that industrious. When I build my place in the country, I envision a second story deck on the back of the house. I could have the builders install a hinged sheep-gate in the railing, where I could just lift a latch, swing the gate open, position the ewe, and have at her. You inspire me, Funk, you truly do! I'm obliged.

[Adam1978]

With a divorce. So you got everything right and on your terms.

[nolabels]

That's what I should have done 30 years ago. That's not gonna happen now. I'd come out on the short end of the stick. Absolutely guaranteed. Thanks for your two cents.

[Adam1978]

And the stick isn't getting shorter and shorter? The longer you stay in the more she gets right. And the less can you use to build your new life.

[nolabels]

My assets, which were plentiful at the beginning of the marriage, were fairly quickly consumed by her spendy ways before her career took off. Now, with my assets used up, and me being somewhat disabled and out of the workforce (which I failed to disclose in the question), she's the breadwinner. I'm financially at her mercy. Our material assets are in both our names, but that wouldn't do me much good if we were to split. I'd quickly be on the street. I'm not one of those guys who knows how to make money multiply, seemingly at will. Nah, I'll be married to her for the duration. I'm just looking for a place to soak my pecker. Whether that's ultimately going to work out OK or not remains to be seen. Again, thanks.

[nastyb]

you sound like a troll. your post menopausal wife wants to get pregnant? you being desperate for sex at 65? i doubt you can even fuck or get an erection that can last longer than 60 seconds.

[nolabels]

Can you read? The sperm contribution occurred 27 years ago. Three years before you arrived here. I've been hypersexual my entire life, even before puberty arrived. My solo sessions go on for hours. I'm just done with being solo. I'm capable of wearing the insides out of anything that comes my way. Your username suits the tone of your commentary. You're the troll, and I'm done with you.

[nastyb]

@nolabels well if you've been getting alone fine with no sex for 30 years then why suddenly make such a huge fuss out of it?

[BlackJeep]

25 years? Did you mean 25 days? WTF?

[nolabels]

You read it correctly.

[BlackJeep]

I'm sorry but you need to get a divorce and start living. There are counties where you can live comfortably with your social security.

[nolabels]

Not on my SS. Before I became officially disabled, my income tanked for years as I struggled to keep working in jobs in my field that demanded less and less of my body. The way SS benefits are calculated, I can't recall exactly how, but they're based on best years of income or something like that. My disability struck just as I was approaching the top of my field. I don't know the details of how it works. I do know that my paltry SS would barely keep my truck legally licensed and insured. I can't eat my truck. It's a long story, but the assets of my youth were quickly consumed by my wife after we were married, before her career took off. She's the breadwinner now, and a fairly successful one. I'd most likely be awarded alimony from her if I were to divorce, but my lifestyle would still take a huge hit. At our ages, we need each other in many ways other than monetarily. No, I've thought about this long and hard. My lifestyle, other than sex, is fine. I'd prefer some sort of sex with her, but she won't budge on the subject. It's more complicated than you could possibly imagine, or maybe you could. I don't know you or your life situations. Her dad had side girlfriends his entire adult life. It's not a new concept to her. My question was to ask about putting myself out there to get laid. I'm out of practice. I'm longer shy as I was as a young man, I'm just looking for ideas. I figured what the hell, ask G@G. Thanks again.

[Sparkie460]

I'd be careful. When she said " do what you need to do ", did she really give you the ok? Once you sleep with someone else she can file for divorce saying you were not faithful to her. Women say one thing but they mean something else.

[nolabels]

I'll be getting that covered with a lawyer. I won't do anything until I have her signature on a document that legally frees me from having adultery used against me. I'm not familiar with law, but I imagine that's probably a straightforward situation. She needs me in many ways, just as I still need her, so I believe that she's sincere. Thanks for your reply.

[msc545]

Probably you go to an escort and have a nice time!

[nolabels]

That's a thought. Thanks.