Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Totally controlling and dominating her?

I love to wrestle and "humiliate" my girlfriend. Am I strange? I love to wrestle my girlfriend, pin her down and put her head between my thighs until she's totally helpless and unable to defend herself. I tickle her and cover her mouth with my hands while she tells me to stop. I enjoy it very much, even though she doesn't seem to like it. I just love the feeling of totally controlling and dominating her. Am I strange? (I'm not a bully by the way. I only tease my girl.)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You pin her down, put her head between your thighs until she's "totally helpless" and you "love the feeling of totally dominating and controlling her." But you also think you're "loving."

    Funny idea of love.

    Abusers rarely think they're abusive.

    They think abuse is funny ("my dad gave me beer when I was 5 and I turned out fine!")

    They think it's for someone's good ("I told her not to buy those expensive shoes, we're on a tight budget")

    They think it's to keep someone in line because they have no common sense ("I'm not nagging; he'd lose his head if it wasn't screwed on...")

    They think it's not that bad ("I pin her down, dominate and humiliate her, but it's in a loving way.")

    They think everyone does it so it's okay ("spare the rod and spoil the child")

    I don't mean to beat up on you (pun intended). But I do mean to make you think about this wrestling in a new way.

    What I find disturbing is that she's not an equal in the wrestling matches. If you two were both having fun rolling around and wrestling, I'd say go ahead and have fun but watch out for the furniture.

    But when you say that she's not that into the wrestling, and that you get a big thrill from dominating and humiliating ... that's a different story. That's a red flag, even if she initiates these matches. Does she initiate these matches, or are you always the one who starts 'em?

    My guess is that she has some abuse in her childhood, and she doesn't know how to stand up for herself. You're seeing her (partly) because of those traits, and she's seeing you (partly) because she responds to a subtle abusiveness in your personality.

    • Alright, I get your point, but I think you exaggerate a bit. It's just play wrestling, man!! I'm a nice guy and I would never hurt her. If she cried I'd stop immediately. She doesn't seem to be sad at all. She's just angry and I think it's kind of cute. Most of the time I start to wrestle, but she's not innocent. She loves to provoke me. I don't know what she thinks about that wrestling stuff. Maybe she likes to be this submissive, but doesn't want to admit it. Who knows?!

    • I'll admit I was exaggerating to make a point. But have you asked her about the wrestling?

    • No. Should I?

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  • Sounds like you have a domination fetish, possibly also a bondage fetish as both are usually linked. Perfectly normal. You might try talking to her about rope play, fuzzy cuffs or holding her hands down while you have sex - those are pretty basic manifestations of this particular fixation. Just make sure you're in agreement about what's going to happen ahead of time, or she'll probably be VEEEEERY pissed off. This is not something you want to surprise her with unless you KNOW she'll like it. But talking doesn't do any harm. Have fun, you two.

Most Helpful Girls

  • omg, I just read over some of the comments you made and dude: you're sick. you're showing her who's boss? wtf! you really took this sh*t to another level. I feel really bad for your girlfriend because you honestly feel like a "man" when you do this to her. this isn't about lovingly teasing her, it's really about making her feel small and weak and making you feel big and manly. that's crazy. it's one thing to tease, but you just said you like to make her feel helpless and unable to defend herself and "humiliate" her. either you need better word choices, or you need therapy.

    you should never get off from seeing someone you love be put down. if you're such a big and strong man and you know it, why do you have to attack her like that? isn't it your job to protect her instead? I don't get it. I really hope we're all just reading this wrong and you're not the abusive weirdo that you sound like. get some help, man. show your girl, your relationship, and yourself some respect.

    • You don't have to feel bad for her. she often provokes it cause she obviously likes it too. just because I love to dominate her I'm a psycho? wow, calm down. it's play only wrestling! you say you like to get head scissored. she likes to get pinned. so what? I don't feel like a man when I do this to her. it's just sexy to see her trapped and helpless. she's my little baby and she often makes cute noises when I do this. I would never hurt her and if she told me to stop I'd stop immediately.

    • Stop worrying. I don't abuse her, I LOVE her.

    • "I tickle her and cover her mouth with my hands while she tells me to stop." You obviously don't stop when she tells you to. Just making a point... *don't hate me*

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  • My, my, somebody's the alpha male, ain't he? Look, you're just playin' around, she's got the idea it's a joke, she thinks it's funny, why on earth would that be strange? A lot of girls here are p*ssed at you for doing this to your girlfriend because they probably don't like it. Myself, I hate wrestling with people, but I'm not every girl, I'm no spokesperson for my gender. Some girls like to be dominated, they like the feeling of somebody stronger than themselves, it shows you're also strong enough to take care of them so they don't have to whip out their own nukes, they can relax. But on one point, you asked the question, and some people had a bad reaction. Don't defend yourself, it's unnecessary, and useless, and honestly, a waste of your time, I'm sure. Just let it roll off of your back. Pin your lady to the floor and kiss her senseless. xP

    • Great comment. thanks.

    • No problem, it's what I do. I was born to spew forth random nonsense pretending like I honestly know what I'm saying.

  • x3 honestly, it sounds adorable. Even if that sounds werid. I would like the feeling of being controled at times. It's a way the guy lets you know that your HIS and HE wants to be the one in charge.

    • Very well said

    • A depressed 17-year-old girl got voted best answer? How interesting...

    • What the hell is your problem??? you think that sounds "adorable"

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What Girls & Guys Said

33 19

  • No, your not strange. Most guys tend to be the dominant ones in bed. Very rarely women are going to be dominant.

    It's okay unless she doesn't enjoy it. Both parties have to trust each other, and enjoy it for it to be acceptable. You say you put your hands over her mouth, and she tells you to STOP. The key word being STOP...I don't like this!

    Or it could be apart of the role play...

    Just ask her if she likes it when you do those things to her. Communication is key in any relationship. If she doesn't find something else you BOTH enjoy.

  • Hahaha no there is nothing wrong with that.

    Me and my guy wrestle like that all the time, except I can fight back so its more like a battle that ain't over till the first person whines lol.

    As long as you know the "enough is enough" point and stop, then that's all you need. That and if it makes her cry or get really mad about it or something, that's a red flag.

    • Well, unlike me your guy is a gentleman. I wouldn't let you win. That's the difference. Would it p*ss you off if I won all the time? Be honest!

    • Oh no my dear he does not wanna let me win lol. I grew up with brothers and in a rough area, I'm a scrapper, I don't win all the time but I do win! I can pin his ass no problem, first time I did it actually he almost sh*t his pants, he couldn't figure out how a girl my size had so much strength. I do whatever it takes to win, you would be amazing what a guy would do for you if you had your pinkies looped in their nipple rings...ahahaha sucka

    • You would be amazed****

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  • I love when my guy does this. I act mad and fight back but it's all part of the game. He always chases me into the bed and pins me down with his knees while he tickles me. I scream and kick and bite but it's all in fun. I doubt it bothers her, especially if she is provoking it. I bet she likes it. You said it would be weird to ask her about it but you don't have to exactly ask, next time you do it, after you're done just say I love picking on you :) She should tell you her feelings about it.

    • "I act mad and fight back but it's all part of the game." What about "no means no"? How is a guy to tell when your no's truly mean "no" or "yes"?

    • Oh, so I am not the only one? You're boyfriend is also a freak? Puhh.. that feels so good. Hahaha..... We should have a sex orgy. Your boy and me will completely destroy you! ;)

    • Ewww

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  • ur not weird at all.just mind where you pin her.

  • . I think it sounded fine - I mean it sounded like playing , except for THAT part... "...I cover her mouth with my hands while she tells me to stop. I enjoy it very much, even though she doesn't seem to like it. "

    How is it TESING if she does not LIKE it & tells you to STOP?

    :-)

  • dude, you should ease off her a bit. it's good to tease her, but if it honestly bothers her (i'd probably punch you in the balls for covering my face while you were tickling me) you should stop. teasing is fine, but that sounds just plain mean to me. I like it when goes put me in a headlock for a bit or give me a playful shove or something, but if it gets to the point where I'm seriously asking him to stop and he doesn't, it's not cute anymore. I think you're just being too much of a guy with your girl. keep in mind that she's not one of your boys, even if you guys are comfortable with each other.

  • me and my guy wrestle and tickle each other and when he pins me down I think its super cute I wouldn't like it if he put my head between his thighs but other then that it seems like its fine , I tell my guy to stop to but that's just cause tickling gets overwheleming you know but I don't actually want him to stop. its my opinion that if she wanted you to stop she would menetion that she didn't like it , and or yell . raise her voice telling you to stop.

  • This is either a troll post and you have a messed up sense of humor, or you are just messed up. Wrestling is fine. Dominating, humiliating, covering her mouth with your hands while she tells you to stop, calling her fat--every one of those actions is abusive and pathological. Those things and "doing it in a loving way" just don't match up. Your inability to let somebody else win when your physical superiority is not in doubt, and your need to validate yourself by pulling the internet tough guy show you to be a very insecure person. If you are not trolling, you are an abuser.

    • What I want to know is why you think I'm abusive. She often provokes a fight, then I pin her down and overpower her. It has nothing to do with violence. Absolutely nothing! I'm not a so called "internet tough guy", I just love to react to stupid answers in the same way. You're 10 years older than me. Maybe you're too mature for this, but it definitely won't do any harm to get a sense of humor, man. By the way, I don't bully people. I wouldn't call her a fatty if she was fat.

    • Abuse is not about violence, it is about control...in your words, domination and humiliation. Violence is occasionally the tool to achieve control, but it usually is not the object. I wrestle with my wife, and we both know I can win every time if I want, but I let her win also sometimes because no game is any fun if you always lose. You can believe what you want, but my opinion of your behavior has not changed. It is problematic.

  • no your not strange just love to be dominate in which your girl might not find very amusing so maybe you should just ease up a little because its only providing you pleasure and not really her but its all good hope I can help

  • you're abusive.

    abuse doesn't only mean hitting, screaming, rape, name calling.

    abuse means overpowering someone to satisfy yourself.

    and you admit that's exactly what you're doing.

    • Yeah, but it's in a "loving way". I would never hurt her! I just love to show her who's boss. Am I really abusive???

    • Question asker, you are absolutely abusive.

    • Soundsl ike your domination over her isn't complete. You should control her to the point where she starts sobbing and then sit on her face and fart to finish her off.

  • If she doesn't like it you shouldn't do it to her. You would be mad and upset if she continued to do stuff to you that you didn't like. It's not cute. If she likes you to do it and thinks you get a kick out of her acting like she doesn't like it, then by all means enjoy. My guy gets a kick out roughhousing with me.But I like being rough, lol.I don't mind but sometimes there is a point that he realizes I've had enough and it's time to stop or I'mma bit him,hard.It does fall into that category of BDSM. You're just thinking of the hardcore stuff.

  • either your a sadist or into BDSM.

    If she doesn't like it. Then stop.

    Or just tickle her and that's it.

    • Sadist and BDSM is a lot more extreem.

  • hahaha its funny

    i think you have child instinct in you

    but be sure not to hurt her neck

  • Umm well ..she might feel you're immature. Not all girls like getting tossed around like that by their boyfriend.

  • Loll, another anonymous user that sounds verrry familiar...strange.

  • If she says know, don't do it. You may not think your hurting her, but in the end we must accept the other person's right not be acted upon in a way they do not wish to be.

  • I love a good little wrestling match with a girl. Just don't get carried away or you'll be bit... and dumped.

  • You're not strange, but it's only okay when both parties are fine with it. You say your girlfriend doesn't seem to like it, so why do you do it?

    • I don't know whether she likes it or not. She often provokes a wrestling match. After she's pinned she gets angry, but I don't know if she only acts this way or if it's true. My guess is she loves to be sumbissive to me, but doesn't want to admit it. Could that be possible?

    • Maybe she does. Why don't you try asking her? Have you guys sat down and talked about it?

    • Well, it's kind of difficult. I don't know what to ask her. Something like "shall I stop dominating you?" just sounds ridiculous. And even if I ask her about the way she feels, how do I know she will give me an honest answer? Maybe she's embarrassed to admit that she loves to get "humiliated".

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  • You sound like the same conceited douche that I just commented on before this... Hmm, connection? o_O

  • Wow dude I just read what you wrote to that other girl and ur kinda fukd up. Seriously if it takes beating up a girl to make you feel powerfull your a sad pathetic guy. I can't imagine actually hurting or doing any of that to any one of the girls I've hooked up with. And I assure you, you can think your big, but I'm a highschool swimmer, I bench 250 weight in at 180 and am 6' even... I could kick your ass so don't even try to intimidate me with a response. I'm not even kidding you sound like the kind of guy that me and my friends would ignore in school casue ur just a doushe bag, seriously show a little respect.

    • Beat up another girl? LMAO! do you know how stupid you sound? I play wrestle with her (I don't knock her f***in teeth out, I don't choke her). I'm not violent. it doesn't make me feel powerful. lol. why would you think that? I just find her so cute being trapped and helpless. lol, you're 6' even? so what? you want to impress me? how pathetic are you? I don't even know you and you don't even know me but you still think you can beat me up though you can't back sh*t up? wow, very sad and pathetic.

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