Trigger warning, I am a monster?

[Anonymous]

Hi there, I'm adding a trigger warning because I don't know what's going on with me. I am against r@pe, pedophilia and anything to do with S. A. But whenever I watch a documentary or a video about it I get a weird sensation in my private area. Like I'm getting turned on by what they are talking about. I feel like such a monster, and I don't know what to do. This stuff that happens to these kids and people are fucking awful and I get horrible thoughts in my head but I try to get them out. I don't know if it's intrusive thoughts? But it happens a lot and I try to ignore it. I just wanna be normal? I'm 24 and I'm a Virgin not really experienced sexually. I think about sex A LOT. But I don't wanna make excuses for myself. I have a domination kink but that's all. Why am I a horrible person? I do have high levels of functioning anxiety.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Well as you said, you have a domination kink. Many people do. They like the idea of being dominated.
As for being a “horrible person,” you’re not.
You are against pedophilia, rape, sexual assault, etc. But you have a kink for being dominated. That’s the only aspect that turns you on when you watch these things, not the pedophilia, rape, or S/A.
You are not a monster

[Bricealan]

I don't see that as weird at all, different feelings from a different situation. In the Sheriff's Academy, a few years ago, we discussed pedophilia and pedophiles, as part of training. They showed us a video, made by a pedophile, of a girl he was molesting. (no sexual intercourse) but the girls was nude and so was the guy.
I am sure that every 'recruit' there in that room got a hard-on watching. that video, and that doesn't make any of them a "potential" child molester.

[ChrisMaster69]

You are not horrible.

our brains are a nightmare and will look at getting satisfaction.

in your case they are getting you via your Dom kink.

it’s fairly normal, don’t sweat it.

if you feel it’s getting a bit too awkward or hard to put up with, just book a counselling session.

you can either sort of embrace your kink or look at avoidance, however your brain will just make you dream of this stuff.

[CherryK]

Girl same! (Except the pedo part) but yeah i feel bad but at the same time i had to accept i really enjoy nonconsent things. I think its the helplessness part someone else said. I have mix emotions too bc i wouldn't want it to actually happen to anyone including myself. You're not alone.

[DaveJord]

I have no idea WhatTheHeckkk to tell you... some type or repressed sexual anxiety I think.

[IMuser]

I believe what turns you on is helplessness

In both the situations, one party is the aggressor and the other is helpless. I guess your domination kink is something similar to you being helpless

You are aware of the effect such an act can have on a kid or a girl who experienced this BUT the feeling of helplessness they experienced is your trigger.

Makes sense?

[beingsmudgy]

It ain't a big deal , just focus on better things rather than watching such documentaries that turns you on
You will always have a better option it's just depends on you that which path u r using

[TransAm85]

In my early 20's I needed a quick and easy income, so I stripped/escorted. I met guys w/ALL kinds of weird kinks/fantasies. This was one of them. One guy even liked to get pissed on.. Strange. Now I'm married and my husband is super plain b/c he's religious and sees fetishes as "against the Bible". One fantasy I know I will never see again is a threesome. I'd love to do it w/another woman and my husband, but he would nvr!

[Bricealan]

I tried a threesome with a married couple in Fullerton, and would do it again

[Berethor]

You are a BDSM monster, and the pedophilia fetish is worse than the rape fetish.

[Dargil]

You are not a "monster" because you are not acting out.
Try as best you can to push tis out of your mind like a bad memory.

[anon1903]

Get laid, woman. It's your brain signal.

As for rape porno, the actors make it look immensely pleasurable. I don't blame you.

[Hangry06]

Yes you are a monster. Get help

[magiusX26]

seek out a proffessional counselor and be fully open and honest with them.

[Andres77]

See a therapist.
Not that you're a monster but so you can get help putting those thoughts in the appropriate place.

[TerryBlaise]

No. Thoughts can't be helped. Just don't act on them.

[ashish804]

its normal to have things that u get turned on to.. u can dm me and we can talk about it

[Alextry]

Best thing you can do is have sex or at least sexy with someone so you can healthily get off. If you need my help I'll be happy to help you anytime

[EnglishEuropean]

Different people react differently to stimuli. If it makes you feel any better there's a difference between getting turned on hearing about crimes (which you don't control) and committing those crimes yourself (which you do).

[lordxi]

welcome to the club . take a seat and sit with most of the people here.😂

[driven159]

your private area has a brain of its own when you are young no big deal unless you act upon them when you get older hopefully you will have better control

[JohnQue74]

Women are very complicated sexually. I hope this link helps.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/200901/perversion-and-the-mystery-sexual-desire

[Anonymous]

I would so put you in your place and pound you.

[Anonymous]

Nothing is wrong with you. My ex and I hated rape, but she always wanted to roleplay rape because it turned her on. As long as both parties consent

[Anonymous]

Me too. I think it's because I can relate emotionally to the perpetrator, because I'm a virgin too, so I understand the desire of wanting it so badly, that you'll do anything to get it. And from the victim's side, I kind of see it as a compliment, that someone wanted them that badly.

I feel guilty, but I eventually stopped trying to fight it and just accepted the fact that it turns me on.