What do guys think of premarital sex or sex before marriage?

Question

Asking for opinions or views on this.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Given that I am not, and never have been, married and have had four children out of wedlock - three with my girlfriend and one with a gal who was, essentially, a one night stand - I guess you would have to say that I am pretty positive about it. Though that sounds a bit glib.

Truth is, I have no problem with it. Sex is healthy, natural and instinctive and men and women should have it when they feel like it and mutually agree to it. However, that does mean that it has no obligations.

Truth is, I have gotten four women pregnant out of wedlock. In addition to my girlfriend - with whom I have lived for over a decade - and the mother of my eldest - there were two others. One miscarried and the one that hurts me more than words can say is the woman who aborted my little baby without telling me. I miss that little baby and only wish I could hold him or her and tell him/her how much I love him/her.

Frankly, truthfully, having unprotected sex out of wedlock is fine with me. In fact, silly as it sounds, unprotected sex is the kind I enjoy the most. It makes me feel like a man and that I am doing what nature intended me to do. However, you have to be prepared to take the consequences.

For me, I always knew I would. I lost my virginity at age 16 and even then I knew that if I got my girlfriend pregnant that I would be a stand-up dad and take care of her and the baby I made. Because THAT is also what nature made me to do.

There is nothing wrong with giving in to your natural instincts, so long as it is remembered that we are more than the sum of our natural instincts. We have obligations and when a man makes a baby it is his obligation to protect that little person and care for him/her and his/her mommy.

Truth is, as I say, my girlfriend and I have lived together for over a decade. We don't want to be married as it just seems too contrived and artificial and somehow diminishes what we have. Frankly, I don't think we would be living together had we not had sex first. It is that important to a relationship between a man and a woman.

As to the mother of my other son. Truth be told, I did not know that I got her pregnant. It was, as I say, basically a one night stand and we did not know each other well. She looked me up years later to inform me that I had a son - this after I already had three children with my girlfriend.

The tests confirmed that I am the dad to this young man, but the twist here is that she does not want me disrupting his high school and college years by revealing who I am. So I have met him, and I am enormously proud of him, but I have decided to respect her wishes and that has not been easy.

Long story short, I think premarital sex is perfectly fine and healthy. Males and females need that release and to do what nature made them to do. Breed and reproduce, not to put too fine a point on it. However, I strongly believe that you have to be prepared to take responsibility for giving in to and obeying those instincts.

Those instincts have given me four of the greatest gifts a man can be given by a woman. For a man, we have an obligation to take that seriously.

Mr_twoface · Accepted Answer

From a personal point of view, we are always horny and generally can’t wait until we are married!

From a medical and scientific point of view (which I also strongly believe in), sexual compatibility is important aspect for a healthy relationship. Engaging in sex before marriage allows couples to explore their physical compatibility and understand their mutual desires and boundaries. This can help ensure that both partners feel satisfied and connected, reducing potential conflicts related to sexual needs after marriage. Physical intimacy can deepen emotional connections by releasing hormones which promote bonding and trust. This can enhance the overall intimacy and strength of the relationship, providing a solid foundation for a future together. Knowing you're sexually compatible can reduce pressure and anxiety, contributing to a more relaxed and enjoyable wedding and post-marriage life. Also, couples might find themselves more equipped to discuss sensitive topics, which can strengthen communication skills across all areas of the relationship.

Other aspects to consider is that sexual activity is known to reduce stress and improve mood due to the release of endorphins. Couples who are sexually active before marriage may benefit from these positive effects, enhancing their overall happiness.

Justneedtokno · Accepted Answer

Sex is such a touchy subject because some people hold it in high regards and some people do not give a damn at all. It is just something you do.

As for me.

I do and even though I’ve already crossed the line if that’s what people say I’m celibate or choose to be mainly because it attaches you to a person and I rather be with a person that wants to be with me full heartedly is not something that I’m just doing it means something to me. It is a connector. It is a release of energy. It binds you, which is why they say save it for marriage. This is why some people in relationships too long when they should’ve left long time ago.

They are plenty of guys willing to have sex with me. But I want more. I hope this makes sense. 😊

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

waiting for marriage with sex is asking for divorce...

Quogha · Answer

It’s up to each person and I don’t judge either way. I had sex before marriage, I’m married now and we’re just as happy as I think we would have been should we have not had sex.

RobT312 · Answer

Not sure how marriage and sex ever became so intertwined.. They are 2 very different things that can exist separately. Marriage is a commitment between 2 people , sex is something humans do to either reproduce or for pleasure. You don’t need marriage to have sex or vice versa

ushagomez · Answer

Essential to ensure that you are sexually compatible before such a serious long term commitment. Perfectly normal here in Europe.

Serkee · Answer

I'm fine with it, but I also have respect for people who wait for marriage. I'm not a fan of casual sex and I think it's mentally unhealthy, but it's not like I don't have my vices too. Drinking is unhealthy too, yet I do it anyway.

LazerBean · Answer

Most men require sex before marriage

Berethor · Answer

Don't really care but if a girl wait until marriage then it good way to insure that she still virgin.

Jefftheduck · Answer

Personally I’m ok with it I want to know that we have good emotional chemistry but also physical chemistry I don’t want to get married and find out the sex is terrible sex is about compatibility there’s not really a way to be good or bad at it it’s subjective

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I am very much in favour of it!  If you get married, the whole point is that you marry for life.. How then are you expected to spend your life with someone who is sexually incompatible?

BCRanger10 · Answer

I'm against it. It's better to wait.

slatyb · Answer

It's normal. Almost everyone does except in fundamentalist societies.

AviatorTom · Answer

I'm going to speak for most guys.

Sex is sex, a physical thing. It's nice to have an emotional involvement, but it's not necessary.

So, premarital sex is fine, even desirable, so long as both of you want it.

sheenagwapa · Answer

nah Jesus is real so guys who don't get that is unmarriable

Tim2nice · Answer

I try before I buy, so lots of sex before marriage for me

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Cool, whatever. Honestly, I just want people to do whatever they're comfortable with.

Zbrody1997 · Answer

I used to think it was necessary but now I feel it’s better to wait, plus having a high body count is nothing to be happy about.

elizamichale1 · Answer

There's nothing wrong in tht

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

Personally I never gave much thought I'd ever get married or be married (and I don't want offspring and I also don't want herpes or HIV, HPV, the list of worst case scenarios ongoes).
Finally - premarital sex between two legal adults ain't a concern, unless it's risky sex, multiple partners past or present - or it's regretted later (or you know, it just ends badly, even herpes or no herpes). And that's just between two supposedly monogamous lol 😂

tomboy2003 · Answer

Isn’t this a very old view? That you shouldn’t have sex before marriage etc. At least in Europe, nobody even thinks about it

BarryLiverstone · Answer

What do you mean by sex? Is that anything beyond kissing?

Alex-Snow · Answer

I am involved with sex before marriage and am enjoying every minute of it. I think it is a good time in ones life to gain some sexual experience and share some orgasms with some wonderful girls. But we all have different values and cultures.

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