What motivates a man to rape a woman? I'm your opinion is it dominance, lust, or hate? Please read description?

[Nicole9356]

PLEASE READ: I acknowledge that men can be raped as well as the fact that some women are rapists as well. However I would like to know why you feel the reasoning behind men specifically raping women. Is it high he gets from dominating a woman and watching her struggle as he "screws her brains out"? Is it motivated by hate or perhaps revenge for perhaps being mistreated by a female figure in his past and now he is getting back at all women? Is it purely just sexual, wanting her because she appeals to his body but not being able to have her and not having the restraint to say no his desires? Is it motivated by lust, power, or hate? Years back a family member of mine was raped by her OBGYN, in that instance it would appear as if it was lust, or ather the temptation of the situation that motivated him. A few years back while riding the bus, I was 18, a man I'm his 30's asked if I had a boyfriend, I said no, to which he replied asking if he could "do me". I was a virgin at the time, and I think he picked up on my awkwardness because he would not leave me alone. He kept touching my leg, and asking if I wanted to go out with him and asked where I lived and where I went to school. I was clearly uncomfortable and it wasn't until a guy stood up for me that the man finally left me alone. However he got off at my stop and started following me but turned back, thank god. I know some men feel more "inclined" when a women is "inappropiatly dressed", however I was wearing just a plane t-shirt and a pair if shorts. I feel that this man got off on seeing how uncomfortable and awkward I was. The real kicker: my husband and I were looking at old photos of me when I was 14. He is 12 years older than me. However in one photo he pointed at me and said " I would love to have raped her". I was surprised but I didn't think too much about it. But later on I got to thinking, what would motivate him to say that and what kris area a person to actually do it?

[kheserthorpe]

It's a popular view in feminist academic circles that it has nothing to do with sex and is entirely about power (and hence is the natural outcome of the patriarchy or even a tool of it to keep women in their place).

From what I can tell this idea isn't terribly well supported.

Certainly that's -sometimes- the case

But it's not coincidence that while women of all ages (and men) are raped by far young women in their peak sexual prime are the targets.

It's not a coincidence that castration can stop repeat offenders. If t was simply about power they would still find ways to assault women.

And by far the most common 'rape' technique is to get a woman black out drunk and take advantage. She may not be sure what happened. This doesn't seem like it's meant to put her in her place.

There is no one reason why rapists (maybe 5% of men) do it.

I'd suggest the primary reason is lust combined with a total lack of empathy.

For some others it's lust mixed with hate and a desire to feel powerful.

I don't think lack of self control is accurate. They seem to have enough to wait for an opportunity.

[Nicole9356]

Very thorough and informative.

[Cardinal7477]

I'm not voting simply because the reasons can differ so wildly. That, and there are certainly more reasons than four.

Whilst some want the feeling of power, others may not be able to be turned on without the struggle and fear emanating from the victim. They maybe on drugs and not fully realise what they are doing. Some men can't stop once they have started, so what me have started out as consensual sex ends up being rape.

Some men just can't get sex at all, so I think it can be the result of an extreme sexualising tension build up.

Where I'm from, Australia, brothel and escorted services are completely legal. I actually think sex workers help reduce the number of rapes. For example, disabled people can get sex through an actual service. Whereas they may not be able to otherwise.

Very touchy subject though. Be careful discussing rape and discussing the motives behind it in the form of a voting poll...

[broadsword]

In no way am i making excuses or condoning what some men do before i try to explain my opinion.
Sex drive is a very difficult thing to explain and a man with a very big sex drive has demineshed control. Most are able to control it and know its wrong or masterbate or if lucky have a willing partner. When you have this combination of massive sex drive and huge lust some guys loose tbe control. Its a massive sexual lust thing very base and animalistic.
In the more rare instance of a guy having negative issues around women so try to dominate or punish. Then this usually is about him having been abused by a woman or being brought up in a bad way.

[TedStar]

B. I have been in many conversations about rape and a recurring theme is power/dominance although it would be unwise to disregard the other reason.

[Splithead]

This pole is soooo wrong, every paper on rape says its not about lust. Now DATE RAPE is different.

[James_N]

I don't understand how we're supposed to answer a question about an act that a very small percentage of men ever think about or actually do commit. I have no idea why someone would rape a person. I've never had the urge to rape someone for whatever reason or even thought about it for that matter. Contrary to popular neo-feminist beliefs, men as a whole don't have some underlying rape craving, and the thought the thought of raping a woman doesn't cross the minds of probably more than 95% of men.

[Meedo]

There is no one thing that motivates rape. However, it is a mixture of opportunity, lust, dominance.

They are all part of a sexual formula. But also contain a non sexual element.

[Octavion]

I think it's the power. I can't say for sure I'm not a rapist. If they really wanted just sex they could find a prostitute.

[Nicole9356]

Good point, I haven't really thought about that before.

[dricky2011]

the only people who can give you a proper answer to this are those who are rapists,

[hypno-trip]

yeah seriously, treating all us guys like rapists that's offensive...

[LionelMerelGlisem]

I thing of this it's just a lack of respect, but they do this only because you don't want them to do.
But, be careful, that's not the case of all rapists, some do this only for sex, so don't pretend you OK with the rape to try to turn them off.

[1Genesis29]

Some people are wired fucked up and when you sense bad vibes stay away from them. each persons situation is unique.

[aaothead]

Rape isn't so much about sex. Or so I've read. It's a hurtful act. I have no respect and would gladly shoot an attempted rapist dead, I didn't really see the answer in your poll. They more than likely have a power trip going on to. Lack of feelings for another human being. Sick mind.

[Ped1981]

It's just sex. Lust is a powerful thing in a man. I imagine if no girl wanted to sleep with you it would drive insane.

[Dargil]

Never have. Never will. Was involved in an unwelcome "group grope" of one girl at age 15 that did not result in rape. Having said that...
In an already intimate situation, A and C combined.
All other situations, some mix of B and D (revene equaling revenge.
My feeling is that anonymous "street rape" is very rarely about A and C

[HighlanderTheOne]

I don't know much about this but I've heard that "It's not rape if you like it"

[AdoringFan]

I think the 'lack of selfcontrol'-answer is a given, it's not really a motivation but rather a circumstance contributing to the rape. I think domination is the main reason rapists rape. Maybe they have a lack of control over their life and try to "take that back" by doing such an unspeakable deed.
Of course this is just guessing, I have never met a rapist nor have I plans to meet one.

[jestingdemon]

I think it's usually mental health issues that cause this behavior but I think for some it would be power/dominance. Also just throwing this out there but there's a link between lack of sex and mental deterioration if you combine that with trauma it seems like that's how it could turn out. As with serial killers I think it falls into the recurrence of the first act and becomes a ritual.

[zagor]

Could be any of these, depending on the individual - I don't think it is as simple as A-D. I've had fantasies about dragging a girl off and just taking her but have never come close to actually doing it. There are some guys who wouldn't consider forcing themselves on a woman who is cognizant but would take advantage of one who is helplessly drunk.

[art84]

I think it's when a guy takes advantage of a girl who is usually weaker then he is.

[This_guy_here]

I have no idea, can't picture my self in those shoes.

[hypno-trip]

Are you asking us normal men to understand the mind of a rapist now? There are a number of reasons including lust, sexual frustration, and anger possibly but us ordinary men cannot say for sure

[hypno-trip]

Actually I reported your question for being offensive against all normal males out there. Good day miss.

[Nicole9356]

Interesting, rape will never be successfully addressed if people don't gave the facts and talk about it even if it makes both parties offended, in which case try can opt not to view or engage in the question. The fact of the matter is that not all men are rapists, but I think men can understand the urges and desires behind rape. What makes them better than those pond scum is the fact that they do not give in to them.

[hypno-trip]

I honestly have never considered or desired raping a woman in real life and I feel offended that you think most men do.

[Nicole9356]

I never said I think that most men do. I'm saying that I can think most men can relate to the FEELINGS that can lead up to it. At least the ones who are being honest with themselves and who are educated on the psychology behind rape.

[Nicole9356]

Raping a woman in real life? You mean as opposed to a fantasy?

[hypno-trip]

I can relate to rape as a sexual fantasy. Or role play or something. But as for real life rape I cannot understand it and I don't want to. None of us ordinary guys here can tell you what a rapist is thinking. What do you think we are?

[hypno-trip]

yea as opposed to fantasy yea...

[Nicole9356]

So you can relate to rape. Rape in fantasy carries the same rush for man who rapes I'm real life. No ones judging you, but the fact that you've been so defensive and are refusing to acknowledge the fact that I said I don't believe all men are rapists nor do I believe that all me desire to rape, well, I think that requires some self examination and not scrutiny of the person who elicited such a reaction in the first place. I've worked with women who have been raped, so I'm no way am I condoning rape. But, there is a wise saying that says to beware he who thinks he is standing so that he does not fall. I believe that if men acknowledged that rapists don't start out as rapists, and that women acknowledged that victims don't start out as victims, as a culture we would be handling the rape crisis that seems all too common a little bit better than we are now.

[Nicole9356]

That's all I have to say about that.

[hypno-trip]

I elicited my reaction because I found your insinuations offensive. You're asking random normal men why they would rape. That's insinuating that every man in the world has rapist urges deep down. That is a very offensive assumption about men. If you don't understand that then you are sexist. I cannot relate to rape, even in my fantasy it's not me who's doing the rape and the woman ends up enjoying it so that it's not even rape in the first place. Real actual rape where the man chokes a woman and handcuffs her to a bed is beyond my imagination even in a fantasy.

[hypno-trip]

Many women have fantasies about being raped does that mean that they would feel the same rush as actually being raped? Your logic makes absolutely no sense. Fantasies and role play are different from real life rape.

[Nicole9356]

I asked normal men if they could relate in any way shape or form as to why they feel men rape. Since you lack the reasonableness to acknowledge the question, I can't help but wondering as to the true nature of these fantasies? why not just have regular sex? Why is it specifically a rape fantasy? What specifically appeals to you? I think you need to look at your inner self for the answers. Men don't start out as rapists, and people don't start out as murderers. They simply allowed a feeling or thought or fantasy to enter their mind. Then those thoughts, feelings, or fantasies combined with mental or emotional disordes, or just pure lack of logic and respect and self control, gives birth to action. I'm sure they weren't just like "hey, I'm going to rape someone today". It starts out as a fantasy, a thought they keep dwelling on. It's not that people with rape fantasies are rapists, but I think they can understand better than anyone else the thinking behind the action.

[Nicole9356]

This is where I'm choosing to end the conversation so if you reply, don't expect me to read or answer it.

[hypno-trip]

"I asked normal men if they could relate in any shape or form as to why they feel men rape" I can't there you go.

[faadi]

It is never justified but it is usually because of male dominated conservative ideology plus people who are sexually deprived and desperate and those who want to hide their shortcomings

[Anonymous]

I'm not a rapist so I can only speculate...

My first thought was that it would be mostly about sex, but perhaps there is more to it than that, I mean if a guy can't get laid prostitutes aren't all that expensive (when weighed against a rape sentence anyway).

So I voted A, but I didn't mean purely sexual just that sex was the main motivator. Now thought about it more I'm not sure, perhaps it is about dominance or something. There are probably studies on this that could give you better answers.

"I know some men feel more "inclined" when a women is "inappropiatly dressed"" I'm not sure if choice clothing effects the likelihood of being raped, but even if it doesn't the woman is in no way at fault wearing what she wants.

I can't fathom why your husband would say or think that, it's sounds pretty weird to me.