Girls, why do girls put down guys who enjoy sex?

[Anonymous]

I enjoy sex and love being with girls, both physically and mentally. I think girls are awesome and want to be around them a lot more than I want to be around guys. I work hard to stay in shape and keep my confidence up so I have the social power to pursue girls consistently and get pussy. I don't act like a player, though. I never lie and I'm always up-front about what I want and about my relationship status with girls. What I don't get, though, is why so many girls think this is a bad thing. It's almost the equivalent of slut-shaming, like if a guy gets a lot of sex and enjoys himself doing it, somehow he's a jerk who needs to be denigrated and name-called until he cowers like the losers who are afraid to even talk to girls. So why do so many girls want to put down guys who love sex?

[HyperOrphic]

Women are conditioned to treat sex differently from men, and a lot of women are shamed about their sexuality and are essentially taught that handing it out makes us a slut. So, some women will come to only view sex as something that you do when you are in a committed relationship/are in love. As a result, they will view people who "abuse" sex in a negative light.

Then there is of course the risk of disease which is a different topic entirely.

For me personally, I don't care. I don't tend to personally date people who have had sex with tons of other people for personal reasons, but I don't care if it's what a guy wants to do. I don't shame people.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone should be shamed for enjoying sex.

However guys being considered jerks for only wanting casual sex is not equivalent to slut shaming because slut shaming literally puts women in danger and is also incredibly offensive to men because it implies that men can't control themselves and therefore if they rape a woman it it the woman's fault for being attractive to them. Slut shaming is present in the legal system; women are blamed for being victims of sexual assault. While it may not be all that fun to be considered a 'jerk' by some people, it does not compromise your safety whereas slut shaming does make women less safe.

[Asker]

No, it's not *quite* the same, but it's still a matter of us getting shamed for having sex. Guys have it worse in a way because we're damned if we do, and damned if we don't. Guys who get no pussy are put down even more than guys who get a lot.

[Opinion Owner]

You're kidding right? I'm not saying it's not difficult for guys because Patriarchy can be pretty rough on guys, but really.. Girls who don't have sex are either called 'frigid' or considered worthless for not being conventionally attractive (this is to a far greater extent than guys who are not conventionally attractive). And girls who do have sex are called 'sluts' and 'whores'

[Asker]

No, I'm not kidding in the least. Girls aren't the only gender who has travails.

[Opinion Owner]

No, I don't think I implied that. Just that it's generally worse for girls

[Asker]

The only things I think are worse for girls *these days* are that girls face pregnancy and face the risk of date rape. But we guys have our own issues in that we have to figure out the social dance and muster a lot of confidence in pursuing girls if we want to even be in the running for sex. Girls just have to exist and y'all are automatically in the game.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure because if girls pursue guys it's seen as desperate or creepy, or, again 'slutty' (depending on her level of conventional attractiveness). There's also that pesky 15% pay gap, the fact that women are still expected to sacrifice their careers when they decide to have children (and the damage the expectation that they will do this does to women's careers even if they don't plan on having children). The expectation that women in heterosexual relationships who live with their partners will be responsible for most of the housework and 'emotion work' (eg. caring for people who're sick, arranging birthday gifts even for the guy's family, etc.) in the household. The beauty industry and how it markets unrealistic standards to women; advertising in a way which presents women's bodies as a problem to be solved by the products on sale. The difference in price between products which are basically the same thing, depending on whether they are marketed at a male or female demographic..

[Opinion Owner]

Not to mention the enormous under-representation of women in government..

[Opinion Owner]

And in the media in general..

[Opinion Owner]

This is without even going into examples that're less ethnocentric to the western world..

[Asker]

Nah, mostly those are just stereotypes tossed around by latter-day feminists to keep their business afloat. My bosses have all been women, so women are doing fine in the workplace as far as I can tell. And most women are in control of their families with men who fear them because they know they'll lose big time in divorce court. Men have just as many body issues as women because we're told that we have to look like a CK underwear model or else we're fat losers who'll be lucky to even talk to a girl, much less get sex. That's why guys like me spend 10 hours a week in the gym and lots more prepping food for the week. Most young women consider body fat on guys to be gross and a potential dealbreaker for sex.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, this is getting off topic though, as we were talking sexual politics. Yeah it sucks for guys that it's considered the man's job to make the first move, and guys who sleep around are seen as taking advantage of girls even if they were happy with the casual arrangement. But if it were more okay for girls to make the first move, and less stigmatised for girls to have casual sex, this would be far less of a problem

[Opinion Owner]

Do you have evidence to back up those claims? 'Cause using your own personal experience alone isn't generalizable, it's much like saying 'world hunger no longer exists because I just ate' really.

Feminists have real data to substantiate their claims. Check this out for example: www.nytimes.com/.../...es-than-men-named-john.html ; in the US there are more CEOs of big firms who're men named James, Robert, John or William than there are women CEOs named anything.

Pressure for men to look a certain way is a growing problem sure, but men's physical appearance is not tied to their worth nearly to the extent that women's is. Look at popular movies for example; the 'everyman' character is often 'rewarded' at the end of films with a beautiful woman, as if she's a 'prize'. If he does something good he is considered entitled to an attractive partner, whereas an 'average' looking woman (usually played by a very attractive actress but considered 'average' in the plot) very often will have to go through a make-over to achieve the same.

[Asker]

Women don't become CEOs because they leave the workforce to have families. And my opinions are just as valid as yours. Nothing you've written qualifies as gospel. Writing "women having it worse" doesn't constitute fact.

[Opinion Owner]

No but I'm saying that the actual examples that I've used have evidence to back them up that's not just my personal experience. When I tell you for example 'women are hugely underrepresented in government (in the US and the UK)'; you can pull up evidence which will support this. Saying 'women are doing fine in the workplace because all my bosses have been women' is less valid because the sample is tiny and therefore can't be generalised to women's experience in the workplace in general. Even though some women choose to leave the workforce to focus on their families, this does not account for the huge difference in the number of male CEOs compared to female CEOs. Some women never want to have children. For that matter, some women want to have both children and become CEOs, and why shouldn't they? There are plenty of male CEOs who also have children. There are not enough measures in place to support women who want to have children and also continue with their careers.

[Opinion Owner]

Many women for example return to work after their maternity leave to find that they have been demoted to more subordinate roles. Maternity leave in general is a massive issue especially in the US: no paid maternity leave. And also very few opportunities for paternity leave

[KingJessie]

Loving sex and treating women like sex objects are two different things. Women don't want a relationship from a guy like this because he wouldn't be loyal and a man who loves girls that much would make his girlfriend feel like shit.

[Asker]

Loyalty is a two-way street. It's just the guy that has to provide it to the girl, and trust me, there are plenty of women around who are just as enamored with the opposite sex as I am. Furthermore, there is nothing in the concept of loving sex and women that is derogatory to women, so I don't know why it would make any woman feel like shit. I don't do exclusive commitment anyhow at this stage of my life, so I wouldn't drag anyone through any sort of infidelity because I don't cheat.

[emerald77]

I don't think there is anything wrong with enjoying sex.

[Anonymous]

I'm not like that my boyfriend and I both love sex and have kinks that we act upon its a two way street

[Asker]

Older women seem to be more open about sex and encourage young guys to go after pussy.

[Opinion Owner]

It's probably cause we have already been through that oh I'm only going to have sex with one guy my entire life stage 😂 screw that I'd rather have some fun

[Asker]

That's a great attitude. Life's too short to limit ourselves from getting our needs met. Too many hot girls out there who want to be wooed and screwed LOL.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol there are some who want it more than others

[Asker]

Hahaha true

[Opinion Owner]

Hey nothing wrong with it I'm just honest

[Asker]

I know, I like that

[Opinion Owner]

Life would be so much easier if everyone was like that

[Anonymous]

😕idk... I wouldn't do that. We all should embrace our sexual persona that lives inside of us