Why do girls who enjoy sex get called a whore but it isn't even mentioned for guys?

[SarahSizzle]

So I joined this site to ask some questions about sexuality, a topic I find fun and enjoy talking about! I have fully embraced my sexuality and have an amazing sex life because of that. But I received messages calling me a whore! What I also find weird is why someone takes the times to read sex related posts... just to send abusive messages, why does it bother people so much what a woman does and if she enjoys sex? When for a guy it really isn't a topic, a guy is expected to enjoy sex but if a girl does they're a whore?

(I am aware some girls like being called this or similar words as part of their sex life and dirty talk but this isn't what I mean here and this isn't what the messages mean either)

[MrOracle]

In a shocking revelation, it turns out that men and women are DIFFERENT, and that women care about very different things in a man then a man does in a woman.

What do women want in a man, generally?

• masculinity (affects protection)
• ambition (affects resources)
• education (affects resources)
• a good career (affects resources)
• status (affects resources)

Most men are not born with any of these things, and they have to work long and hard, and make many sacrifices, to earn or become these things to any degree. But we accept that this is what women want, and this is what we must become if we hope to attract women.

Men do NOT want those same things in women - in fact, some of them are seen as a negative, despite what you may have been taught. Men already have these things, so they don't need them from a woman.

What do men want in a woman, generally (for a serious relationship, not just for casual sex)?

• femininity
• virginity (or, at least, a low body count)
• friendly
• cooperative
• submissive
• family-oriented (rather than career-oriented)

Just as women want the things they want, because that's how a man brings value into her life, men want these things because it's how women bring value into a man's life.

Also, when you say "girls who enjoy sex", that's not what you mean. What you actually mean - but are trying to avoid saying - is "girls who are promiscuous." Men have no problem with women enjoying sex, but you don't need to be promiscuous to enjoy sex - a woman could be with one man her entire life and enjoy sex. You are specifically talking about promiscuity, and men don't value promiscuous women for relationships and don't take them seriously as such, for good reason.

A large study that came out a couple of years ago showed that if a woman got married as a virgin, after 10 years, she was over 80% likely to say that she was happy in her relationship. If she'd had 5 partners, that number fell all the way to 30%, and as you would expect, the higher her body count, the lower that number became. This is because when women are promiscuous, it destroys their ability to pair-bond, and without that bond, she's always looking for something better, and no matter how good she has it, she will get bored and try to find a man who offers something she doesn't currently have - even if he is deficient in other areas. This is why women overwhelmingly file for divorce - they were promiscuous, they can't bond, so they get bored and feel like they aren't happy and so the solution must be some other guy who has the thing that she's missing. But what she's missing is the bond, and she destroyed that by being promiscuous.

And, yes, promiscuous women still get lots of male attention, because they are a source of casual sex, and plenty of men like casual sex. But most men see promiscuous women as "for recreational use only" and would never take them seriously as a relationship partner. Yes, some men will have a "casual relationship" with them, and a few might seriously offer a relationship, but those rarely last long.

This is just the way the world works. You don't get to do anything you want without their being consequences, anymore than men do. Rather, you have to make choices knowing what the likely consequences will be, and being willing to accept those consequences.

If a guy isn't ambitious or successful, is he likely to get a relationship? No - most women won't want him. It's still his choice whether or not to put in all that effort, but if he chooses not to, then he has to deal with the consequences of that decision, right? It's no different for women and promiscuity - it's a choice, and it has consequences.

[blissinanarchy1]

You my friend, earned yourself a follow.

[whorable]

so what you’re saying is…. i am not a women….

[MrOracle]

@whorable I don't think I said that at all. But, if you have a promiscuous past (or present), then most men - especially the men you probably want - aren't going to see you as "relationship material." And I'm afraid that once that status is lost, you really can't get it back. There will still be some men who would commit to you, but they're going to be men with few other options, which means they'll be men that you probably won't find very attractive. Your choices and decisions have consequences - and it's not me who is enforcing them, it's the world. I'm just explaining how it works - I didn't make these rules.

[whorable]

i’m not reading all that lol.. i was joking.

[ManOnFire]

Women do get called a whore for having casual sex, but mostly if she is sleeping with every guy and everyone knows it. But men also are not praised for their sexploits either, even though women want you to think they are. Guys who sleep around are called horndogs, players, cassanovas, etc. Hell, even the guys on my job say I'm a player because of chicks I slept with, but who weren't even co-workers.

A little bit of this kind of response - from both men and women - is probably some jealousy, but also because no one really feels good about someone who fucks everything that moves. Now I have had casual sex, but never been a guy who tries to fuck a new girl every night or every week, and would never want to be that either.

[Asad1ONE1]

This. Many women hate when men sleep around and then complain about men complaining about them.

[ManOnFire]

@Asad1ONE1 Yep.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I laugh at men who call me a whore, because that is showing their ignorance. As I don't take money to have sex.

Name calling though is one of my triggers for blocking someone, I'm here for adult conversations and if they are not an adult and have to resort to name calling, they get blocked.

In the end the rest that are left are fairly understanding.

[Agape93]

Because guys think we lose value with eachpartner, but each of their partners gain them experience which makes them better partners. It's a double standard.

[SarahSizzle]

The thing is it wasn't even a response to me sleeping around, I wouldn't say I have had a high amount of partners in my time but their response calling me a whore was just generally about me enjoying sex and asking about sex made people call me a whore!

[Agape93]

Gotta love it. I've seen virgins get called whores for refusing to have sex, its just terms with no meaning. Don't give it any and it won't bother you.

[weysally]

because a lot of people have age old therories, men because of that, and women because I think they would secretly love to do sex but are scared what folks will think of them

[Gummy_Cluster]

Don't ever confuse this freak-show of a site to the real world. There are some really funny people on this site, so just focus on them. Block the rest. Live is too short to deal with stupid.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Life

[Anemone978]

Double standard.. but its because women are supposed to be smarter than men and not dabble in this trash behavior lol

[SarahSizzle]

Hahaha! I would like to consider myself smart but also enjoy dabbling in trash behaviour lol

[Anemone978]

@PatriceONeal You don't even know me xD I only been with 2 guys... you're a whore!

[PatriceONeal]

2 guys at 34. Not likely

[Anemone978]

@PatriceONeal Not likely but that's all I been with.. I was with the one for 12 years bruv..

[summiter]

Sarah... I agree with you 100%. As you know some guys who sleep around are called players but for many of those guys it can be a badge if honor! People should just be kind to each other and honest. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat about it ( no I'm not rolling... sorry) Have a great rest of the day!

[inhua]

guys get shamed for their sexuality too

passport bros are getting vilified to travelling overseas to meet foreign women and older men get attacked for being attracted to younger women and then there's the whole virgin shaming thing

[SarahSizzle]

I obviously haven't researched this and this is pure speculation, but I can imagine most "passport bros" are going to meet foreign women in areas they're taking advantage of them and are going for the sex industry in those regions. Personally I have seen a huge surge in support for people who are virgins, I don't think they're teased in the same way they were when I was youger

[inhua]

how are they taking advantage of foreign women? why is it every time a man and a woman has sex, the woman is somehow the victim in this even if it's consensual? the support for virgins is largely virtue signaling and there's a primal instinct amongst women to be naturally repulsed by virgin men especially the older they are and they subconsciously start thinking of reasons why he is still a virgin e. g. could he be a rapist? etc. this may not be you specifically but there's a reason why women prefer experienced men over no experienced men

[HSalenko]

Age gaps are creepy, traveling for a lay is expensive and comes off as desperate, but virgins don't deserve to be shamed.

[inhua]

@HSalenko disagree. people can date whoever they want regardless of age, race, sexual orientation etc. within legal bounds. people are allowed to travel to different locations to find love, the detractors are just reaching for excuses to shame them.

[HSalenko]

If you mean traveling because you met someone and have a connection then that's a bit different, but age gaps are creepy because it's odd wanting to banf someone old enough to be your child.

[inhua]

@HSalenko the "old enough" argument is overused and makes no sense when that said individual isn't your actual child or parent. that's like saying someone of similar age to you is old enough to be your brother or sister when they really are not.

[HSalenko]

It doesn't matter, brother or sister aren't equivalent to child because those people are in a generation with, above, or below you. If you're banging someone who was a kid when you were grown up then that's creepy.

[inhua]

@HSalenko that's your opinion. there's no rule that states we should only date those in the same generation. that's like saying we should only date those within our ethnicity, height, social status etc.

[HSalenko]

Guy bangs child= sick. Guy bangs someone old enough to be his child= creepy. A lot of people subscribe to this view in part because it's easily exploitative. You can make false comparisons, but the fact remains a profound age gap means profound differences in people as a whole. A shorter woman your age is not the same as a 17 year old (AOC where I live.) Guys like us have no business pursuing 17-19 year olds, they're in wildly different places in life and stages of development. If that gap is bigger, say 20 or 30 years then you're very well taking advantage of someone. At best it's weird if you both genuinely care for each other, but the power imbalance and differences of lifestyle pose a hefty challenge.

[inhua]

@HSalenko the comparisons are not false. barring the AOC people should be allowed to date whoever unless your also against gay relationships and interracial relationships. the power imbalance and exploitable is conjecture. it's usually made out as an excuse for when the relationship fails just like how apparently everyone just so happens to have dated an abusive ex without any sort of self-reflection or self accountability on their part or divorced women who lie to their kids that dad was abusive. anyone can take advantage of anyone regardless of age. and who's to say the younger individual is incapable of taking advantage of the older individual?

[Berethor]

Whore is a girl that had sex with many guys, but there are other definitions for whore as well.

[Paul_in_Indy]

I call women who enjoy sex “fun.” If I am having sex with you, it’s awesome that you are as into it as I am. If I am just hanging out with and talking, it is nice to know you are well-adjusted and comfortable; which lets me relax.

[mattyprince]

Really got some mixed opinions here ey?

I actually think you're just being bombarded by trolls and on the internet you'll encounter a huge range of opinions and views. Try not to let it get to you and surround yourself by people who you can relate to!

[SphynxUK]

I wouldn’t worry about the comments on here. Sex is a 2 way thing. Men do it and get congratulated. We get put down. Ridiculous! As long as both parties are willing and safe, I see no issue. Too many women haters here…

[Asad1ONE1]

Men who sleep around are hated just as much by women.

[SphynxUK]

In whos opinion? I dgaf what people do. I tend to get on with my own life rather than chat sh*t about others.

[Asad1ONE1]

It's not an opinion it's a fact.

[SphynxUK]

Ha ha, in your small world maybe.

[Asad1ONE1]

I'm doing you a favor and you find it offensive? Sounds suspicious 😳.

[LeeannaDD]

Because men are insecure creatures sometimes

[BeMuse]

Yeah they just call us players, man whores, fuck boys, etc. Girls are so innocent, they never call men names or act judgmental. They're just victims. lol

[SarahSizzle]

Haha touché, you have a point! Although I'm not quite sure it's on the same level! I was surprised by how many men called me a whore purely after reading a question online

[Summeroflove]

I think men or women who sleep around uncommitted are whores. I see your point. Yeah it’s a double standard.

Certain men like to think it’s okay for them to do it. But not for women. Which isn’t true and why he only gets whores

[slatyb]

That's something men say about other women having sex with others but not with them. Women say it about women having sex with men who won't have sex with them.

[jshm2]

Your standard response to those dimwits should be "Nope, kiddo, I would only be a "whore" if I had sex with something you".

Or something along those lines.

They are just trying to neg you into accepting them, and giving them attention. Attention they are craving.

[SarahSizzle]

Haha amazing response

[PatriceONeal]

Also wrong.

[jshm2]

@PatriceONeal A little bitch like you needs to stay in your momma's base basement. Not even she wants you to breed...

[AMS700CX4u2]

I think it may date back to a time when male bought brides Virgins were worth more. Fast forward to Catholocism. And church weddings, purity and virginity

[Wade12345]

You can enjoy sex with your lawfully wedded husband without being a whore. Otherwise, you're a whore.

Also, the same law of God applies to everyone, and there's even a law of physics that says the same laws apply to everyone all the time, so men who have sex outside marrriage are called "whoremongers" AND ARE no different morally than whores.

[Bricealan]

It has been that way for so long, that is the reason (in my view anyway) for the really hard push back by the feminist movement. I worked at TSA for several years in LA. Worked with a very attractive, small, woman, (Jewish by the way) that told me to my face the she "stopped counting at 100) for the men that she had fucked. Said she was "like a man" and could not get enough, and fucked every man she met, and it ruined her marriage. I though nothing about it, but as you can see, men are basically pigs, and are REALLY JEALOUS. I wish to hell I had fucked 100 women

[Angel_ica]

Many man is insecure he not get as much sex so he is angry

[bowenw]

Some self righteous people wrongly assume it’s their business what others should enjoy.

[Anpu23]

Its because we only look at half of the story.

According to some (mostly Christian/Judaism/Muslim) customs women are inherently pure while men are inherently dirty so sex purifies the man while defiles the woman. Thats why virgin guys are considered gross and virgin girls are considered desirable. Its one standard.