Why do guys micro-cheat (watch porn, ogling at other women, liking InstaThots) when they have a wife/girlfriend?
Anonymous
When a guy micro-cheats, I’m not talking about cheating because I noticed so many girls tolerating this bs. It results in the woman’s confidence going down, unhealthy or toxic relationship, and tension.
So, is there a justifiable reason that a guy might do this like if then wife/girlfriend is fat and lets herself go and he has told her many times? Or she’s actually a mean bitch?
Or is the guy just selfish and ungrateful?
Updates:
+1 y
The comments are disappointing. Porn is disgusting and results in lower relationship satisfaction.
Well, women do it a lot too, probably just as much as guys.. Don't you see those commercials with women fawnin over John Cena.. 😂😂.. But that's cause we live in a culture of self indulgence and lack of self control. The logic is, look as long as you don't touch..
0100
Kas19Explorer
+1 y
This whole thing looks toxic as fuck and I think you need therapy.
1000
Asker
+1 y
wow you're so offended
Kas19
+1 y
Mmm gonna have to disagree. I'm not the one who made a whole post about "microcheating". Your insecurity is showing.
KieronmXper 3
+1 y
Women's or just your confidence, it's porn no different than watching a movie with some nudity in it. As for put up with it if the relationship is healthy the couple will discuss if it's ok or not, and if you haven't or don't discuss such topics then the relationship is already breaking down so porn isn't the problem simply a result.
0000
DargilMaster
+1 y
No such thing as "micro cheating". Cheating is interactive romantic and/or sexual activity outside an exclusive relationship. Porn and "ogling" are not interactive. Cam girls are if you can make requests. This nonsensical post is why guys choose to just hook up or, as I have, "recruit" a partner not corrupted by Western dating culture.
0100
Dargil
+1 y
" Porn... results in lower relationship satisfaction." Not necessarily.
0112358Master
+1 y
The only studies I've seen on porn showed this:
porn use was more common with poor relationships.
when they later controlled for masturbation frequency the link almost disappeared.
basically it's not the porn it's the lack of connection. If one partner is getting a lot of their sexual needs met -solo- with or without porn, there's a problem.
most, perhaps not all, of what you're considering microcheating is not a big deal if done to a limited degree with a backdrop of a passionate connected relationship. When it's big and the relationship is poor there's a problem but typically the "microcheating" is the symptom.
I say all this but I think older studies aren't capturing an emerging phenomenon of near porn addiction where someone is so caught up in porn they actually turn down their partner to focus on their porn. Once again I'd say the main issue is lack of actual connection to the partner but in this case the porn obsession is part of the issue.
But the more common scenario is that finding other people attractive and noticing and vice versa is the normal backdrop of life. If that's threatening the problem is the lack of connection. You shouldn't need your partner to be trapped with no other options to feel secure. You should feel confident that they're CHOOSING you.
2000
GoodGuyBreakingBadMaster
+1 y
Guys cheat with porn cause those are the ones who think with their manhood ( down below )
1000
andreasderjuengereMaster
+1 y
What a cute new term: 'micro-cheating'.
I feel that I now should respond to your question with some... ... micro-trolling.
0000
Asker
+1 y
I offended a lot of guys apparently.
andreasderjuengere
+1 y
I'm not offended. 'Amused' about trendy wording comes closer to it. The rest of this topic is being discussed since decades, if not centuries.
ArSwSwXper 2
+1 y
The best porn to watch... your own porn..
1000
Asker
+1 y
YES!! 😄
exitsevenMaster
+1 y
I am allowed to look but not touch.
0000
Not_AverageYoda
+1 y
Micro cheat lmfao
0000
HawkPerceptionYoda
+1 y
I mean... if you don't live together I wouldn't even call it micro cheating. It's something to do when you're not there to satisfy his needs. However, if he's watching porn while living with you, all I can say is... you're not satisfying his needs to his hearts content. Be more kinky and talk about fetishes... be more open and receptive in bed. He'll never think of another girl if you do. As for the checking other women out... that is completely disrespectful if you're beside him. But again... if you're not... then it's fine. Some girls have this misconception that men should suddently lose attraction to the opposite sex when they're in a relationship. It's fine to look and appreciate beauty (when their partner isn't right in front of them), but it's not okay to act on it.
0000
cth96190Guru
+1 y
Microcheating? What bullshit has your head been filled with during the Gender Studies lectures? Everyone watches pornography and everyone looks at good-looking members of the opposite sex. It is normal.
0200
Asker
+1 y
Umm no, women can micro-cheat as well.
Asker
+1 y
Yes, normalizing this behaviour is why our society is so decadent.
cth96190
+1 y
@modelUN242 You sound to be a lemon sucking sex hating joyless Feminist. You probably lap up the writings of Andrea Dworkin. Normal men will cross the street to avoid you.
Show All Show Less
Asker
+1 y
And you sound like a sick porn addict who needs help. Stop normalizing this crap! I’m not against sex, did I say that? And I’m not a feminist lol, just because I’m not supporting men cherry picking bad habits.
TheSpaceGnomeGuru
+1 y
You have unrealistic views that make no sense, people do not stop noticing beauty after finding a partner and thats normal, and watching porn is not a form of cheating, thats like saying that watching a taco bell ad and it making you hungry is the same as eating at taco bell.
0000
Asker
+1 y
If it’s making your wife and girlfriend insecure which a lot of women already are insecure about their bodies and stuff, then it is. It’s better to put that wacking energy into them not pixels on a screen.
TheSpaceGnome
+1 y
Every girlfriend I've dated watched porn (sometimes with me), and they didn't have insecurity issues because we both showed signs of arousal from seeing eachother and we view porn the same way we view cartoons or an action movie (it's just entertainment, not a connection between us and the actors, thus not cheating). A bunch of times they even sent me porn as examples of what they like doing or to ask what I like in terms of adornments, cosplays, etc. or to show me something they think I would like, also since they were all bi, I was able to look up stuff for them as well without having to look at gay porn. Even aside from that though I'm fairly picky, more so now than then, but they were really pretty and were aware of that, only reason it didn't work out was disimilar beliefs (I'm an atheist so we butted heads in science debates) and she wanted to have kids (I didn't). I also only date sexually "agressive" women, ie the type to persue the guy relentlessly instead of the guy persuing her, so insecurity was never even brought up.
TheSpaceGnome
+1 y
The only way watching porn could realistically be a catalyst for insecurity is if just about everything a partner watches is completely different from their partner despite lacking variety, but thats not an issue with porn existing or being used, because the porn is WHY you finally found out your partner isn't into what you are, and thats kinda needed info. (don't shoot the messenger basically).
ChiTown33Master
+1 y
Lmao " micro-cheat". I learned a new word today.
0100
OutWestBanditXper 5
+1 y
Different relationships - different reactions: 1. porn (with all except 1 exgf) - yeah i watched sometimes 2. with flirting on the side (never) 3. checking out on the side (never) 4. texted side women (never) 5. kept side female friends that seemed questionable to you
women are more bound to do #5 (male) always --- #2 and #3 often and #4 if they aren't really 100% committed, but can explain it as nothing (just talking)
guys are prone to do #1 if they aren't 100% in flames over you --- #2 and #3 if they think they even have a chance at side pussy and #4 if they think they can get away with it (guys can't get away with the excuse of "just talking")
0000
3ossmanXper 1
+1 y
Because our sex lives matter too.
0000
BobbyC65Guru
+1 y
Because the wife/girlfriend won't put out far as being sexual in the relationship.
0000
NalixXper 6
+1 y
It can be complicated. Some don't get enough attention from their woman, but many do it anyway. I don't know what goes on in their heads. Some are simply addicted. Some are more satisfied by their own fantasies than what their woman can provide. I am happily married. I ranked as super loyal according to your chart. I don't watch porn, or flirt with other women, but I do other things, like self stimulate furiously. No other women, no flirting. She has full access to my social media, and I to hers.
I don't need other women nor do I want them. I'm happy with my wife, but I'm convinced that no one on earth can satisfy me sexually better than I can myself. Maybe I'm just weird.
1000
Asker
+1 y
Cool, your wife is lucky to have you, she can trust you. 👍👍
shade_19Xper 5
+1 y
Ya it's wrong I'm guilty for it But it's fine if both watch it together or none watches it (I had written a opinion but got erased by mistake and I'm too tired to get in detail of words again) But basically I'd still not say them really bad depending on the situation and circumstances Like in long distance relationship with no good communication, to get off some stress it's fine If with partner.. living together or so.. then no fine
0000
FeelicksExplorer
+1 y
Have you considered that you're point of view might be possessive to the point of toxicity?
Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
What Girls & Guys Said
15 86Well, women do it a lot too, probably just as much as guys.. Don't you see those commercials with women fawnin over John Cena.. 😂😂.. But that's cause we live in a culture of self indulgence and lack of self control. The logic is, look as long as you don't touch..
This whole thing looks toxic as fuck and I think you need therapy.
wow you're so offended
Mmm gonna have to disagree. I'm not the one who made a whole post about "microcheating". Your insecurity is showing.
Women's or just your confidence, it's porn no different than watching a movie with some nudity in it. As for put up with it if the relationship is healthy the couple will discuss if it's ok or not, and if you haven't or don't discuss such topics then the relationship is already breaking down so porn isn't the problem simply a result.
No such thing as "micro cheating". Cheating is interactive romantic and/or sexual activity outside an exclusive relationship. Porn and "ogling" are not interactive. Cam girls are if you can make requests. This nonsensical post is why guys choose to just hook up or, as I have, "recruit" a partner not corrupted by Western dating culture.
" Porn... results in lower relationship satisfaction." Not necessarily.
The only studies I've seen on porn showed this:
porn use was more common with poor relationships.
when they later controlled for masturbation frequency the link almost disappeared.
basically it's not the porn it's the lack of connection. If one partner is getting a lot of their sexual needs met -solo- with or without porn, there's a problem.
most, perhaps not all, of what you're considering microcheating is not a big deal if done to a limited degree with a backdrop of a passionate connected relationship. When it's big and the relationship is poor there's a problem but typically the "microcheating" is the symptom.
I say all this but I think older studies aren't capturing an emerging phenomenon of near porn addiction where someone is so caught up in porn they actually turn down their partner to focus on their porn. Once again I'd say the main issue is lack of actual connection to the partner but in this case the porn obsession is part of the issue.
But the more common scenario is that finding other people attractive and noticing and vice versa is the normal backdrop of life. If that's threatening the problem is the lack of connection. You shouldn't need your partner to be trapped with no other options to feel secure. You should feel confident that they're CHOOSING you.
Guys cheat with porn cause those are the ones who think with their manhood ( down below )
What a cute new term: 'micro-cheating'.
I feel that I now should respond to your question with some...
...
micro-trolling.
I offended a lot of guys apparently.
I'm not offended. 'Amused' about trendy wording comes closer to it. The rest of this topic is being discussed since decades, if not centuries.
The best porn to watch... your own porn..
YES!! 😄
I am allowed to look but not touch.
Micro cheat lmfao
I mean... if you don't live together I wouldn't even call it micro cheating. It's something to do when you're not there to satisfy his needs. However, if he's watching porn while living with you, all I can say is... you're not satisfying his needs to his hearts content. Be more kinky and talk about fetishes... be more open and receptive in bed. He'll never think of another girl if you do. As for the checking other women out... that is completely disrespectful if you're beside him. But again... if you're not... then it's fine. Some girls have this misconception that men should suddently lose attraction to the opposite sex when they're in a relationship. It's fine to look and appreciate beauty (when their partner isn't right in front of them), but it's not okay to act on it.
Microcheating?
What bullshit has your head been filled with during the Gender Studies lectures?
Everyone watches pornography and everyone looks at good-looking members of the opposite sex.
It is normal.
Umm no, women can micro-cheat as well.
Yes, normalizing this behaviour is why our society is so decadent.
@modelUN242 You sound to be a lemon sucking sex hating joyless Feminist. You probably lap up the writings of Andrea Dworkin. Normal men will cross the street to avoid you.
And you sound like a sick porn addict who needs help. Stop normalizing this crap! I’m not against sex, did I say that? And I’m not a feminist lol, just because I’m not supporting men cherry picking bad habits.
You have unrealistic views that make no sense, people do not stop noticing beauty after finding a partner and thats normal, and watching porn is not a form of cheating, thats like saying that watching a taco bell ad and it making you hungry is the same as eating at taco bell.
If it’s making your wife and girlfriend insecure which a lot of women already are insecure about their bodies and stuff, then it is. It’s better to put that wacking energy into them not pixels on a screen.
Every girlfriend I've dated watched porn (sometimes with me), and they didn't have insecurity issues because we both showed signs of arousal from seeing eachother and we view porn the same way we view cartoons or an action movie (it's just entertainment, not a connection between us and the actors, thus not cheating). A bunch of times they even sent me porn as examples of what they like doing or to ask what I like in terms of adornments, cosplays, etc. or to show me something they think I would like, also since they were all bi, I was able to look up stuff for them as well without having to look at gay porn. Even aside from that though I'm fairly picky, more so now than then, but they were really pretty and were aware of that, only reason it didn't work out was disimilar beliefs (I'm an atheist so we butted heads in science debates) and she wanted to have kids (I didn't). I also only date sexually "agressive" women, ie the type to persue the guy relentlessly instead of the guy persuing her, so insecurity was never even brought up.
The only way watching porn could realistically be a catalyst for insecurity is if just about everything a partner watches is completely different from their partner despite lacking variety, but thats not an issue with porn existing or being used, because the porn is WHY you finally found out your partner isn't into what you are, and thats kinda needed info. (don't shoot the messenger basically).
Lmao " micro-cheat". I learned a new word today.
Different relationships - different reactions:
1. porn (with all except 1 exgf) - yeah i watched sometimes
2. with flirting on the side (never)
3. checking out on the side (never)
4. texted side women (never)
5. kept side female friends that seemed questionable to you
women are more bound to do #5 (male) always --- #2 and #3 often and #4 if they aren't really 100% committed, but can explain it as nothing (just talking)
guys are prone to do #1 if they aren't 100% in flames over you --- #2 and #3 if they think they even have a chance at side pussy and #4 if they think they can get away with it (guys can't get away with the excuse of "just talking")
Because our sex lives matter too.
Because the wife/girlfriend won't put out far as being sexual in the relationship.
It can be complicated. Some don't get enough attention from their woman, but many do it anyway. I don't know what goes on in their heads. Some are simply addicted. Some are more satisfied by their own fantasies than what their woman can provide. I am happily married. I ranked as super loyal according to your chart. I don't watch porn, or flirt with other women, but I do other things, like self stimulate furiously. No other women, no flirting. She has full access to my social media, and I to hers.
I don't need other women nor do I want them. I'm happy with my wife, but I'm convinced that no one on earth can satisfy me sexually better than I can myself. Maybe I'm just weird.
Cool, your wife is lucky to have you, she can trust you. 👍👍
Ya it's wrong I'm guilty for it
But it's fine if both watch it together or none watches it
(I had written a opinion but got erased by mistake and I'm too tired to get in detail of words again)
But basically I'd still not say them really bad depending on the situation and circumstances
Like in long distance relationship with no good communication, to get off some stress it's fine
If with partner.. living together or so.. then no fine
Have you considered that you're point of view might be possessive to the point of toxicity?