Guys, Why do you watch porn in a relationship?

[haileybabyxo]

Don't get me wrong, I've done plenty research on this but yet, i still stumble on it. Why do guys do it? Why does my boyfriend do it? I'm home most of the time and when I'm not, why would it cross his mind, "lets look at naked chicks" like to me, thats messed up. I would never do that. I know guys are differently wired but its wrong, i voiced myself to him several times, "hey i dont like you looking at naked chicks" and he never stops. This use to be a rare thing so it was never a problem, he'd look once in a blue moon but now, its almost 2 times a week that he does. Its not worth ending a relationship over but, im sick of it

[chnapo]

We like to see something else.. Or lets say.. why do you watch movies? You can go out and experience anything you like. But you watch movies anyway. Same is porn - we can have in bed what we like, but porn is some kind of fantasy watching for us, we watch what we wouldn´t like to make happen, but turns us on anyway. Or if girlfriend refuses to do something and we really want it, then the best option is to watch it in porn, and do not offend her with it all the time.

[MadeInAmerica]

I personally don't watch porn. The concept of me wanting sex and then watching when I have a wife doesn't make since to me and it pisses me off they are having sex and I'm not so that ruins me watching porn.

I imagine most men in relationships watch porn because it has become habit.

[haileybabyxo]

I want to assume he does it out of boredom. Because he has nothing to do, he has no job, nothing, he crashed my car. there's a whole list. And he could just be in the mood too... i guess. When he had my car, he wasn't really looking at this stuff much because he was working on my car

[MadeInAmerica]

Sounds you like you got a real winner there. I think you need to get your man a job and hobbies. I don't think it will stop the porn watching but he'll have more on his mind to think less about it.

[haileybabyxo]

Everyone says that, i know, nobodys perfect. he's a mess. Im not saying it'll elimate porn. But, it'll do it for the most part

[cookienick]

Guy watchs porn in a relationship is not a good thing... I frankly depend on my girlfriend, think about her etc etc which will build feelings and interests on her and will avoid porn.

[BluMac81]

Only if she does.

[FantasticPlanet]

It's not "let's look at naked chicks", it's "I'm aroused and I need some visual stimulation to masturbate to".
You can have sex more often, but you should try ACCEPTING this about him instead of trying to change him.

[haileybabyxo]

I'm trying lol. Its something that is gonna take time. I just don't like the idea but, i need to also think of it like, ok, he thinks some of them are hot but would HE DATE them? Probably not. That's all that it is and i know it. Do they make him smile like i do? No. Because there's nothing more than an orgasm. Its just weird how men and females are wired so differently.

[FantasticPlanet]

Well, that's a lot of progress! Admitting the differences between men & women is a big step towards accepting him. Not only would he not DATE any pornstar, he likely wouldn't have sex with them either. Most guys say they would love to, but when it comes right down to it, they don't actually want to for one reason or another (that's a whole separate post). Have you never watched & enjoyed porn? If you haven't, that's fine. But if you have, try watching something you like with him, and telling him why you like it. Also, the movie Don Jon presents a lot of contrasting viewpoints on porn vs real life.

[haileybabyxo]

We have watched porn and i lost interest. It just wasn't a turn on. I'd rather watch him than watch people have sex. I showed him your comment and he agreed and said that pornstars are nasty and he wouldn't ever date one. All the girls online are fake. Fake boobs, butt, makeup, stds?(maybe). Doesn't mean real females don't get jealous. That's all we have towards it. Jealousy towards nothingg. or maybe jealous of the idea of our man wanking to another girl? I dont really like that lol

[Xelebrum]

Given the circumstances, it's one or both of these two reasons reasons:

One, he has a REALLY high sex drive and just has to bust a nut, but you're either not there or unable to help.

And two, he has certain fetishes that either you're not into or he is too ashamed to ask you to do it with him (Like anal, golden showers, whatever).

[haileybabyxo]

I'd say its the first one. He loves anal. Loves it. He's the first person i actually dont mind playing with that area and i dont like anal, but i dont refuse to do it. So maybe its both because there are days where I'm like "no.. you're not putting it in my butt..." and.. im also not by his side every morning because i wake up earlier and i like to move around a lot so I'm up on my feet a Lott

[RappingChad]

Guys who watch porn period are fools and you need to tell them so... Any true guy will be satisfied with the girl and if he needs to find it elsewhere he needs to get the boot...

[HereForTheDay]

Well, if she was into it it can be a turn on. If not, it is a turn off for her. My ex liked lesbian scenes. Turned her on. I guess it gave her something to fantasize about

[Michael-in-SC]

Why not? Do we really need a reason? I wouldn't ask a partner what her reasons were for watching it. I guess I'm just at a point in my life where it causes me no insecurity for a partner to find visual stimulation in other ways. I know it's not about me.

[haileybabyxo]

When guys look at porn, its nothing about me right? Theyre just horny, correct? Its just to get off and nothing more

[Michael-in-SC]

Yeah, pretty much that. They don't have any expectations of winding up with the person they are watching.

[haileybabyxo]

Im not trying to sound insecure or anything. Just being a typical 18yr old girl... asking questions. Lol. What about looking at naked pics! Thats diff than porn. Similar but its not porn, its just straight up girls. Im more bothered by that than porn because i know he thinks there attractive

[Michael-in-SC]

Fundamentally, it's no different. It's an attempt to seek sexual arousal from a safe source. And what's wrong with him thinking other girls are attractive? If a guy ever says that you are the only girl in the world who is attractive, run like hell because he's a liar.

[haileybabyxo]

I know I'm not the only attractive girl. He just needs to act on it and make me feel that way though because in a relationship, i should feel like I'm the most beautiful thing ever. I constantly get brought down from seeing this porn stuff!! I try to not let it get to me. Thats why i posted this lol. I just need outlook on this

[Michael-in-SC]

"I know I'm not the only attractive girl. He just needs to act on it and make me feel that way though because in a relationship, i should feel like I'm the most beautiful thing ever." You do realize there's a cognitive dissonance between your first sentence and your second sentence, right? He needs to make you feel like something is true even though both of you admit it really isn't. No, he just needs to show that he loves you and will be faithful to you. And you have so far given no information which indicates that's not the case.

[evenlift]

Because men like visual variety. And because having a lot of sex can make men hornier, ironically.

[haileybabyxo]

Can it really? We do have sex... a lot

[evenlift]

Yes, ironically, it can. But, of course, sometimes, it doesn't.

[muspelhem_5]

Because variation. Sex is great, your body is great, you are great, but sometimes it's nice to imagine someone else too. Doesn't mean he doesn't still love you.

[haileybabyxo]

Good way to put it other than saying "he likes naked girls, get over it" thanks. Lol

[muspelhem_5]

Anytime :)

[livingdead15]

porn is just a movie, they watch it for fun.

[haileybabyxo]

Out of boredom too maybe? He has a lot of free time.. No job,, nothing

[livingdead15]

n once u have the habit of watching it u will feel like watching whenever u get some time or when ever she is not home ha ha.(girl friend) it's just like some women can't live without watching their television series so do some men can't leave watching porn. but yes it could be annoying for a girlfriend or wife to have their boyfriend or husband watch porn regularly. u can do one thing. u can make a routine for him to watch it. n that is only at night before sex. would that be ok for u?

[haileybabyxo]

We tried watching it together and it wasn't long before i said "this is boring" and made him turn it off so we could have sex. I told him he can do it when I'm away. He use to bring his phone in the bathroom with him and i got him to stop, doing that for me.

[livingdead15]

what kind of porn he watches mostly? is there any specific type? like lesbian, gay, tranny.

[Drednaught]

I don't see why this should matter. If he watches porn, but still only finds you romantically attractive, then what's the problem here? There's a fine line between sexual attraction, and romantic attraction, and if he find someone in porn sexually attractive, that doesn't mean he is romantically attracted to them, it just means he finds them sexually arousing, or attractive. You would still be the one he is romantically attracted to, it just means he finds some other people sexually attractive. (which is fine) Lots of people are sexually attractive. It doesn't mean he'll cheat on you, or abandon you, it's just the nature of sexuality. Really, all need to establish here is his romantic attraction.

[sometimesilikecheese]

because you don't fuck him enough

[Dragan]

I don't watch porn at all.

[Nathand]

if the female did what she was suppose to do, then we wouldn't have to watch bad actors have sex.

[OnionsNstuff]

lol almost 2 times a week. you mean you only know about it 2 times a week?

guys just want orgasm. it feels good. it has nothing to with you

[abc--123]

Some men find porn relaxing

[jackjarvis98]

Fantasy I guess, but it's not cheating tho, wouldn't you rather he masterbate to girls on a film than have sex with another woman and get her pregnant, males are more let's say for now (horny) than women (normally)

[Anonymous]

Personally for me ist because I'm only 17 and I can't have my girlfriend out all night, so when we're having sex in the back of my car I literally never get to finish, I have to bust a nut sometime, so it's usually once I drop her off and get back to my place.