Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Why exactly does a person’s number of previous sexual partners seem to matter to so many people?
loves2learn Master
I don’t get it. If you are both clean and have good sexual chemistry, why does it matter how many partners? I understand maybe asking how many long term relationships or how many times they cheated. But to me # partners really isn’t relevant unless one is a virgin.
Updates:
+1 y
Just to clarify my statement about virginity being relevant. I mean if a female is a virgin he’a gonna want to take it slow and be gentle and check in on her. If the male is a virgin they can talk about it but if she is not he might be more comfortable with her taking the reigns the first time. I mean for comfort reasons.
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What Girls & Guys Said
11 73Because they're squeamish little shits. It doesn't matter
People want to feel special and it’s hard to do that if you’ve fucked a lot of others
True kinda hard to believe your girlfriend or boyfriend that you're the best when they had 40 other cocks or pussies 😔😔😔
Exactly. There's more pressure on us to perform and please the girl. For me it's also to show how easy it is for her to spread for someone, I don't want to be another number... I'm a virgin like and sex is special in my view
@Avcfhcic a virgin by choice?
Absolutely not 😂 Combination of bad looks and low confidence
@Avcfhcic it probably wouldn’t be as special to you if you could get laid easily
When I say special I mean with someone I've been with a bit and we both want it. But I know what you're getting at, I don't know if urge will overcome what I really want but even with money I couldn't get laid lol
@Avcfhcic my point is you idealize what you can’t have. But at least you’ll be good to your girlfriend when you get one.
If I get one lol I don't think my and sex is a good combo I feel like I'll overthink it too much and spend more time worrying than enjoying if I get a chance
@Avcfhcic Sorry to hear that, I'm still a virgin at almost 25. Except I am by choice, I'm often told I'm gorgeous I just want it to be with the right woman and want her to actually care about me and want to get to know me. For the record, it doesn't feel great being treated like a sex object while wondering "I wonder if they'd feel bad for assuming someone like me is an easy lay if they knew I was a virgin and was holding onto my sense of 'innocence' for someone?". Advice: Be confident in it. I say that even though I'm pretty shy myself and have my own insecurities over it. But I still wholely believe I can end up with someone who admires it about me and likes that she's my first. Whether I'm hers or not. I also think one can still feel special if they think about it in terms of "she's rode the cock carousel and had X many guys and out of all of them she chose ME... and also gives wicked head".
You idealize what you can't have and who you can't have but I think it's possible to see things/someone as a person with flaws and real on your same level and have a somewhat idealized view at the same time. They aren't mutually exclusive. We all idealize our own lives to a certain extent anyway, don't we? The men who are good to their girlfriends never get girlfriends. I know a lot of girls (ones I even had crushes on) in hs that never gave me a chance or called me ugly who are now with one kid and no partner. I had my car when I was 17 and played guitar and keyboard in band and was on the debate team but was always the loser nerd who hung out with the anime kids. Now I'm ripped, have even more skills and hobbies and am tall and tattooed. I sometimes think about how I'm supposed to let someone have me now at my best when no one ever even wanted me back then when I liked who I was. But you let the resentment get to you and you're no better. Forgiving is key. And anyway, odds are I end up with someone not from my childhood who benefits from all of the results. I just hope she can still the kind of person I was as a boy back then ontop of the man I am now. I'm still kind of that boy in my own head.
@InventorofWarp @avcfhcic Well, I'm a virgin also and not by choice. Just didn't gain any advice or got lucky in college. But now since I'm out and trying to improve my life. I been on a couple of dates and they been fun 😁
@poneglyphs If you were focused more on studying I'd call that also by choice. I was a really shy nerd in hs and Uni. The concept of talking to women terrified me. I still don't really consider myself "involuntary" 'cause I'm pretty sure there are definitely a few times I probably could've gotten laid if I wanted I just would rather have someone I know will be there still when I wake up in the morning. I'm sure if you think back there surely must've been times as well during College when some chick looked your way or gave you a signal you just didn't see at the time 'cause we're all morons in the minute. There is very specifically this one time I can think about where I was talking to a girl in the library once really late when there was like no one there and she flat-out told me directly she found me attractive and then didn't know where to go from there. Looking back on it I probably could've gotten up, grabbed her hand, pulled her to the washroom and fucked her in a stall. But I'm not really that guy. That's a "my brother, the slut" sort of thing to do. I'm me. And I think I kinda knew that in the back of my head at the time. When I meet the woman I want that badly to do that to I'll know. 'Cause she'll want it so bad she wants to stick around after. Who knows? Maybe I already met her.
@InventorofWarp Yeah, I remember in uni there was a cute Asian chick who liked my jokes and other things, but it was hard because she always gave me mix signals and other things. So, I never pursed a date with her. But oh well, at least now I'm trying to stop feeling sad all the time. If you wanna know more just dm me my chat is open to anyone.
@poneglyphs Get hobbies. Start working out. Did wonders for me. Changed me into a more confident man who no longer focuses on that as his defining feature. Because it isn't. It's perhaps what I'm most proud of, having everything to give someone. But it isn't anyone's defining feature.
@InventorofWarp I do have hobbies and I have been exercising :) But yeah dude, I have been trying to go change and have more fun now.
@poneglyphs I'm not gonna lie, I don't go out much atm either and haven't really for almost two years. But in my defense we're still in the middle of a pandemic and if I didn't have to feed and clothe myself and, you know, keep myself alive as well as my dogs then I'd probably be waiting this all out for another few months to a year. Otherwise it's pretty much just been me steadily improving myself. I recommend all men who are unhappy with their virginity take a giant step back and actually ask WHY you're unhappy. Odds are it actually has very little to do with sex and is likely very easily remedied.
@InventorofWarp Yeah, I see what you mean dude, this pandemic did fuck me up and has made me feel like shit. But since things been improving little by little, I have also been improving too. Also, in university I went to a commuter school, so it was hard to meet girl's let alone new people. Besides, I never went to any parties or bars because I didn't know anyone who hosted them or wanted to go with me.
@poneglyphs many girls also prefer their partner not have a high body count
@gwenhwyfar Yeah, I can see that.
I've encountered the opposite. I've had more than one girl leave me for being a virgin which destroyed my self-esteem in my early-20s and the majority of women I know who have settled down are with partners who are older and have been with women before in their youth. At almost 25, despite being rather confident and secure with myself. I also know 2 things, 1: It is probably not desireable when a woman here's that you're 25 and have never had sex and would wonder why and probably not want you because of it. 2: You'll always feel "behind" because she's been sexing since she was 17 and you'll always wonder how she loves you compared to the previous men and what caused those relationships to end and if it'll happen in your future, if you're as special as those before and if she can even really ever love you for you and understand what your life has been like. The trick to this is when these thoughts come in I usually employ a confidence and security-building tactic I've learned to use called "don't think about it".
@InventorofWarp most girls in their 20s want neither a virgin nor a guy with a super hot body count. Somewhere in between is good. Is warp speed really instantaneous like teleportation or it just feels that way?
Super high body count
I'll let you know when I finish inventing it. I'm estimating about another 43 years. Also that's disconcerting. So I guess my SMV is low. Good to know.
@InventorofWarp some girls are fine with virgins
Good to know there's a percentage of the female population out there that will settle on us. Thank god.
@InventorofWarp tbh it wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me but it wouldn’t be a good thing either
@inventorofwarp you are a catch. Don’t let her comment get to you.
@loves2learn I needed this today, thank you. There are days I feel stuck like I'll never get back to where I want and see who I want to see again. And there are days where I'm sure I will. Today is one of those first kinds.
@inventorofwarp you are welcome. I am sorry this is a hard day.
@inventorofwarp sorry. I didn’t mean it as a negative thing. You seem like a great guy and you being a virgin would not be a deal breaker for me.
@gwenhwyfar Lol, no need to sugar coat anything for me. I'm a big boy, I can deal with things as they come. It'd be nice to meet the girl who makes you feel special and like you actual matter and have the words out of her mouth not be "well, it's not a dealbreaker for me" but more something along the lines of "you waited for the right girl and think it's me? How sweet" or "I understand you/how you feel". Something like that.
@loves2learn All days end.
@InventorofWarp I hope you meet her I’m gonna follow you.
@gwenhwyfar "Blind is the young man to all other forms of beauty after the ensnaring web of lover's joys captures him so tirelessly" - Jean Paul Sartre Follow returned.
When your spouse is a virgin, sex feels like coming home to Heaven.
The fewer the body count the better. I have only had sex with three girls and my next would be my virgin wife. Personally I wanted her to be the only one no regrets though. Just grateful, I got a virgin.
People love to find anything to judge others about.
It makes them feel better about their own short comings.
As long as they got no diseases, it doesn't matter how many people they been with.
Exactly
Who is the cutie in your profile pic? 😍 👶🏾
It's my nephew he turned 5 yesterday
Awwwww! My son turned 6 last week.
Hope y'all got to do something fun, cuhh
Rented the playground picnic shelter for a party! 🥰
Sounds fun
It doesn't matter to me any, we're all sexual creatures and for those to whom it does matter, it's probably more of a moral issue than anything else.
Like I said though, I don't care what the body count is, it's completely irrelevant. If there is good chemistry, both are clean, and we have a good time, who cares how many partners she had in the past
My thoughts exactly. Well stated.
A lot of guys feel insecure if they have not had much experience and they are with somebody with a lot. They think that they are somehow deficient.
I suspect that some women would have a negative opinion upon hearing that the guy is a virgin as well.
Because they are young and they think it matters
It doesn't matter to me, although I'd like to know if they are a virgin so I can be careful and gentle. If they want to tell me their body count it's fine, but I'd never ask.
I completely agree with this. If I ever found myself in a situation where I was going to sleep with someone else I would probably tell them I had only ever been with my husband because I think it is relevant. But I wouldn’t care what their number was.
Great minds think alike! 🧠🧠
Sex is a really intimate act. There is nothing wrong with filtering out people who you don't wanna get intimate with based on their body count. It's a matter of your body
Telegony and microchimerism.
66% of women will literally retain the DNA of any dude they sleep with or even who blows one on their skin. The sperm’s DNA stays in the woman’s body, and even has a chance to enter in to “your” so called child with that woman.
Further, studies show that the number of partners a person has will negatively affect their ability to pair bond with future long term commitment relationships, and even negatively affect a parent’s ability to bond with their own child.
Given that. Why would anyone want multiple dozens of partners? Does anything think that if their partner had 45 hookups that you being #46 will finally be “the one”? Or that they won’t automatically be out here looking around for potential #47 and #48?
It doesn't really matter to me. I tend to like wild women. But I'm not wild myself. I haven't had scores of lady friends. But it doesn't bother me if she has a past. It should but it doesn't.
Why should it bother you?
Well I don't know that promiscuous people are all that trustworthy. I think you take your chances getting involved with someone with a lively past. I suppose though that every relationship is taking a chance one way or another.
Because so many guys still thing you can “wear a vagina out” lmao
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Well, CAN you?
@inventorofwarp 20 vaginal births would likely wear it out. 🤔
This goes for both genders.. A person's body count is a direct indicator of their ability or lack there of to pare bond.
Damn autocorrect. Pair**
you know my answer...:.)
😂😂😂😂
It's because this society is so fuckin brainwashed with Christian bullshit.
Before the Europeans got here with their BUY-BULLS preaching the WORRRD OF JEZUS, the Native American tribes were highly sexual and most tribes were polyamorous, they did not see sex as EVIL, it was the opposite. But you can't undo a lifetime of brainwashing in one thread, these people have to go study this shit on their own.
@Милашкa
Some people are tricked into thinking people with a low body count will cheat less and be more loyal. But BC isn’t relevant to someone’s character.
Asking how many times they have cheated in the past would be more relevant.
Yes. And asking about their family and observing how they treat others are way more important. But some are insecure and will compare themselves to past lovers. That’s a recipe for disaster.
Agreed!
If she doesn't have an STD then we're good to go.
My simplest explanation is --- people are hypocrites.
Nailed it, loves. @loveslongnails 💅🏼
We need to clone ourselves so we can date :)
Indeed. 😂
*sighs *
That is completely irrelevant. Some people are just curious to know the other persons sexual experience
I believe that the girl shouldn't lose her virginity before marriage cause that's the right thing to do, also a man doesn't have the right to see a woman's body naked before marriage...
If they couldn't hold it and had sex, at least be sure that your both are going to get married...
I also prefer that a man stays without sex till marriage!
A girl's virginity ain't something that doesn't matters, it's precious and it has a meaning...
A virgin girl who loves you and gives you her virginity means she's giving you all herself and she trusts you and see a whole future with you, so don't dissapoint her!
I guess that is your belief and that is fine. I had sex with my husband 5 years before we married. We are each others only.
That's good miss loves2learn, it somewhat the same since the man whom you had sex with os your husband now and that is okay! He's a good person, cause the majority of the guys promises the girl that they love to marry her and after having sex with her they dump her... Better having sex after marriage... Thanks for sharing anyway 😌